Surrender

[Guest guest]

Chrism and everyone,

First thank you for allowing me to ask that question. I hope you and

everyone realizes it was extremely difficult and very scary to ask. I struggled

for days over it. Finally I thought no other way to resolve it than just ask.

Chrism, it is NOT the money that bothers me, altho if it got out of hand it

might, I don't think that is my problem. My problem. I think first, it is a

function of my ego. I do definately find it very difficult to surrender. To

anything. Second, I think all the talk about spirits of the negative sort, which

I never thought were real, made me a little paranoid. It was more like I was

afraid of spiritual control than financial. Third, I really don't know you very

well. I am not by my life experiences, a natural born truster. Or surrenderer

either! I hope I did not offend you. Sometimes I don't say things very well. I

also hope that we are laying foundations here, or marking out a path. To do that

you need to even explore the

scary areas too, right? I think I just need some time to get to know everyone.

I hope you all will allow me to even ask scary uncomfortable questions. If I

should have taken it pm, please let me know that too. I need to keep reading and

talking. Thank you so much Chrism.

 

Becky, if you felt I was being disrespectful, or if I hurt you I am deeply

sorry. I really felt I had to voice my feeling. I admire very much what you said

and did and do. I admire your surrender. I hope I can do it too. I have to ask

the things I need to ask to get to where you are. Can you understand? Love to

everyone and thank you. Namaste,

Carol