Guest guest Posted January 21, 2007 Report Posted January 21, 2007 Hahaha! Thanks for the giggle... ) love & light, Jen , " chrism " <> wrote: > > > If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > > Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live > with. > > Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. > > Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. > > A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. > > Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. > > It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a > warning to others. > > The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the > average man can see better than he can think. > > Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on > society. > > Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where > you left them to where you can't find them. > > Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will > not be evenly distributed. > > Whose cruel idea was it for the word " lisp " to have an " s " in it? > > Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people > appear bright until you hear them speak? > > If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as > cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? > > Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the > battery is dead? > > Why do banks charge you a " non-sufficient funds fee " on money they > already know you don't have? > > Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? > > Why are there 5 syllables in the word " monosyllabic " ? > > Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in > charge of everything outdoors? > > Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? > > Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? > > Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? > > How do I set my laser pointer on stun? > > If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? > > If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? > > If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? > > If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? > > Why are hemorrhoids called " hemorrhoids " instead of " asteroids " ? > > Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? > > If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane > crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? > > Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? > > If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't > everyone just move 10 miles away? > > How come abbreviated is such a long word? > > If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? > > How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always > ducked > > when someone threw a gun at him? > > If " con " is the opposite of " pro " , then what is opposite of progress? > > Why do we wait until a pig is dead to " cure " it? > > If it is " common " sense, why is it that it is rarer than gold? > > I went to a bookstore and asked a saleswoman, " Where's the self-help > section? " She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. > Quote
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2007 Report Posted January 21, 2007 Who thinks these up? BlessU Sam , " chrism " <> wrote: > > > If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > > Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live > with. Quote
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2007 Report Posted January 21, 2007 I always went along with: " Money can't buy happiness, but you can rent it by the hour... " . Quote
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2007 Report Posted January 21, 2007 LOL...these are great! Radiant circuits come alive! But one question that wasn't answered... Does anal retentive have a hyphen? :)Troy Quote
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2007 Report Posted January 21, 2007 dear chrism.. those are great. where did you find them? thanks! -steve f Quote
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