Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 see, i find that odd. our family (ie: our friends) have aklays made accomadations for us... there's always a vegan option, or make a special vegan dinner where everything is vegan..... if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... yarrow Apr 29, 2010 2:22 AM Re: Outback Steakhouse Wow! I have never encountered that kind of culture. Even when I ate at a relative's house, it was clear that I was the outlier and that no special accommodations would be made for me. So there was meat broth in the rice, mayo on the salads, butter in the overcooked vegs, etc. That's the way they always made it, and if I didn't want to eat their food, too bad. It was the same when I worked at a job where 3-4 of us got treated to a lunch on rare occasions. I remember going to a French restaurant where the only thing on the menu that I could eat was a simple green salad (iirc, 2 lettuce leaves) with no dressing. So I've learned to always carry food with me, to eat before a big dinner, etc. But choices at some restaurants have become a little better over the past couple decades or so, and some relatives have started eating healthier as well. At 7:49 AM -0400 4/28/10, Blue Rose wrote: I realize I probably was raised in a VERY different culture from you.In my family's culture, it's not just about the mom and dad--it's about the entire family. My parents would NEVER ask me to just make accommodations for myself. The same scenario would go in reverse. You don't force a person in your family to go to a place you KNOW they can't eat at for any occasion. It's unthinkable. It means you can't feed them, and it's akin to being a bad host.I'm guessing you people have very, very different relationships with your family than I do. Not bad, just very different. On Sun, Apr 25, 2010 at 3:13 PM, Matthew McCormick <mattmcco > wrote: Blue Rose,I would respectfully disagree with your solution, because: A) The dinner is NOT about Mikki, it's about her Mom (and Dad). Mikki's the one who needs to make the accomodations for herself, not mom or dad. Some of my friends sit around every evening And they worry about the times ahead But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference And the promise of an early bed You either shut up or get cut up, they don't wanna hear about it It's only inches on the reel-to-reel And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools Tryin' to anaesthetise the way that you feel Radio Radio Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 At 2:37 AM -0400 4/29/10, fraggle wrote: if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... >> That reminds me of a vegan friend I had who liked to eat out. One time we were planning to get falafels to eat outdoors, but after seeing the hunk of gyro meat rotating in the window, I lost my appetite and didn't want to buy food there. The vegan friend didn't understand at all when I chose to go across the street to buy my lunch at a different place. Same person refused to go to an all-vegan restaurant I liked because it didn't provide " value " for the money!! I guess that my being vegan made most of my relatives uncomfortable, since they'd never heard of or met another one, and they had no idea what vegans ate besides raw carrots. I did cook when I visited my parents. But when I visited other relatives, it would've been ok to bring a cake, but not other food. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 I've had a range of experiences depending on who I'm with. A family meal in my family would never be arranged somewhere where I literally couldn't eat anything on the menu. Usually, it's up to me to check whether I can eat there and flag up any problems, but if the menu were to contain nothing appropriate for me, then they would move the meal elsewhere without a fuss... I would never be expected to have to take food with me to a restaurant because to my family, that would mean the person organising the meal is a bad host who can't be bothered to check everyone can eat in the venue they've chosen. However... family meals with my husband's family are an entirely different affair. Most of the time they just arrange it and it's up to me to worry about my own food. Occasionally one of them will remember I'm 'veggie' (they haven't computed the fact I'm actually vegan despite having it explained to them repeatedly, they still think I eat cheese etc) and after tutting and rolling their eyes about how awkward I am, will ring the restaurant to ask if they have a veggie option - but without checking to see what that option is. I've lost count of the times I've been handed a plate of prawns or fish because so many restaurants think that veggies eat fish. Or something drenched in melted cheese sauce, and probably super spicy too since most restaurants seem to think vegetables taste so bad the only way of making them edible is to drown them in chilli powder. I got sick of having to make a fuss about this and having them all treat me like I'm super picky and a pain in the rear. I've accepted that none of that family apart from DH are ever going to understand so trying to educate them is basically a lost cause. So... with DH's family meals, I generally eat a big meal beforehand and then it doesn't matter if all I eat in the restaurant is plain salad and maybe fries (assuming the restaurant keeps its potato cooking oil separate to the meat frying oil). Opalline (Who is pleased to announce that at the weekend, someone accidentally put cow's milk in her tea, and when she tasted it, it tasted REALLY BAD and she was almost sick. Despite years of enjoying full fat milk in her tea, and liking the taste, which meant she really struggled to give it up when she went vegan. Hooray! Finally I no longer like the taste of milk! It can never tempt me again!!) On Behalf Of fraggle29 April 2010 07:38 Subject: Re: Outback Steakhouse see, i find that odd. our family (ie: our friends) have aklays made accomadations for us... there's always a vegan option, or make a special vegan dinner where everything is vegan..... if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... . "This e-mail is intended for the recipient only. If you are not theintended recipient you must not use, disclose, distribute, copy, print,or rely upon this e-mail. If an addressing or transmission error hasmisdirected this e-mail, please notify the author by replying to this e-mail." "Recipients should note that all e-mail traffic on MOD systems issubject to monitoring and auditing." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 It's just the way we are. Whenever my aunt cooks, she'll deliberately make a soup I can eat and has gone out of her way to ask what kinds of foods I can and can not have. Ditto with my supremely Irish grandmother. I suppose I'm very fortunate to have the family that I have, and believe me...I am grateful.On Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 2:22 AM, <yarrow wrote: Wow! I have never encountered that kind of culture. Even when I ate at a relative's house, it was clear that I was the outlier and that no special accommodations would be made for me. So there was meat broth in the rice, mayo on the salads, butter in the overcooked vegs, etc. That's the way they always made it, and if I didn't want to eat their food, too bad. It was the same when I worked at a job where 3-4 of us got treated to a lunch on rare occasions. I remember going to a French restaurant where the only thing on the menu that I could eat was a simple green salad (iirc, 2 lettuce leaves) with no dressing. So I've learned to always carry food with me, to eat before a big dinner, etc. But choices at some restaurants have become a little better over the past couple decades or so, and some relatives have started eating healthier as well. At 7:49 AM -0400 4/28/10, Blue Rose wrote: I realize I probably was raised in a VERY different culture from you. In my family's culture, it's not just about the mom and dad--it's about the entire family. My parents would NEVER ask me to just make accommodations for myself. The same scenario would go in reverse. You don't force a person in your family to go to a place you KNOW they can't eat at for any occasion. It's unthinkable. It means you can't feed them, and it's akin to being a bad host. I'm guessing you people have very, very different relationships with your family than I do. Not bad, just very different. On Sun, Apr 25, 2010 at 3:13 PM, Matthew McCormick <mattmcco wrote: Blue Rose, I would respectfully disagree with your solution, because: A) The dinner is NOT about Mikki, it's about her Mom (and Dad). Mikki's the one who needs to make the accomodations for herself, not mom or dad. -- AIM: A Blue Rose 156 YM: blue_rose_156http://x-bluerose-x.livejournal.com~http://www.BeachBodyCoach.com/TeaAddictedGeek ~TimeAndRelativeDimensions Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 Ditto with me, fraggle.If it were a special occasion and my mom was dead set on Outback, they'd just go together, understand I can't eat there and do a separate family thing. And honestly...my mom wouldn't want to go out if I were in town and not have me be able to eat there. It's how our family is. Food is important and very interconnected with family function. Everyone has to be able to eat. It's very, very ingrained in me and if I have a guest who shows up and has special food restrictions I flail until I can feed them. To do otherwise is just unconscionable. On Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 2:37 AM, fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote: see, i find that odd. our family (ie: our friends) have aklays made accomadations for us... there's always a vegan option, or make a special vegan dinner where everything is vegan..... if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... yarrow Apr 29, 2010 2:22 AM Re: Outback Steakhouse Wow! I have never encountered that kind of culture. Even when I ate at a relative's house, it was clear that I was the outlier and that no special accommodations would be made for me. So there was meat broth in the rice, mayo on the salads, butter in the overcooked vegs, etc. That's the way they always made it, and if I didn't want to eat their food, too bad. It was the same when I worked at a job where 3-4 of us got treated to a lunch on rare occasions. I remember going to a French restaurant where the only thing on the menu that I could eat was a simple green salad (iirc, 2 lettuce leaves) with no dressing. So I've learned to always carry food with me, to eat before a big dinner, etc. But choices at some restaurants have become a little better over the past couple decades or so, and some relatives have started eating healthier as well. At 7:49 AM -0400 4/28/10, Blue Rose wrote: I realize I probably was raised in a VERY different culture from you.In my family's culture, it's not just about the mom and dad--it's about the entire family. My parents would NEVER ask me to just make accommodations for myself. The same scenario would go in reverse. You don't force a person in your family to go to a place you KNOW they can't eat at for any occasion. It's unthinkable. It means you can't feed them, and it's akin to being a bad host. I'm guessing you people have very, very different relationships with your family than I do. Not bad, just very different. On Sun, Apr 25, 2010 at 3:13 PM, Matthew McCormick <mattmcco wrote: Blue Rose,I would respectfully disagree with your solution, because: A) The dinner is NOT about Mikki, it's about her Mom (and Dad). Mikki's the one who needs to make the accomodations for herself, not mom or dad. Some of my friends sit around every evening And they worry about the times ahead But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference And the promise of an early bed You either shut up or get cut up, they don't wanna hear about it It's only inches on the reel-to-reel And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools Tryin' to anaesthetise the way that you feel Radio Radio -- AIM: A Blue Rose 156 YM: blue_rose_156http://x-bluerose-x.livejournal.com~http://www.BeachBodyCoach.com/TeaAddictedGeek ~TimeAndRelativeDimensions Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 My family and I went to an Italian restaurant. By " my family " , I mean two sets of aunt and uncles, one of my cousin's and his wife, my parents, my grandmother, and my grandmother's brother. My aunt's brother owns the place so no request was refused. Needless to say, they made me the most delicious pasta, veggie, and garlicky-olive oil dish I've ever eaten. On Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 4:02 AM, <yarrow wrote: At 2:37 AM -0400 4/29/10, fraggle wrote: if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... >> That reminds me of a vegan friend I had who liked to eat out. One time we were planning to get falafels to eat outdoors, but after seeing the hunk of gyro meat rotating in the window, I lost my appetite and didn't want to buy food there. The vegan friend didn't understand at all when I chose to go across the street to buy my lunch at a different place. Same person refused to go to an all-vegan restaurant I liked because it didn't provide " value " for the money!! I guess that my being vegan made most of my relatives uncomfortable, since they'd never heard of or met another one, and they had no idea what vegans ate besides raw carrots. I did cook when I visited my parents. But when I visited other relatives, it would've been ok to bring a cake, but not other food. --- To send an email to -! Groups Links <*> / <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: /join ( ID required) <*> To change settings via email: -digest -fullfeatured <*> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 29, 2010 So MIKKI, after all this discussion about your situation, you're gonna' have to give us a full report as to how you handled it! I'm dying to hear!Matthew Morris McCormickUnitarian-Universalists are often asked where they stand. The only true answer to give to this question is that we do not stand at all, we move. http://www.peopleschurch.net/The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have too much, It is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. -President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 2nd Inaugural AddressMatthew Morris McCormickGrace House721 Whitcomb St. Apt BKalamazoo, MI 49008Phone: 269.OXford 2.3692email: mattmcco On Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 9:50 AM, Blue Rose <bluerose156 wrote: My family and I went to an Italian restaurant. By " my family " , I mean two sets of aunt and uncles, one of my cousin's and his wife, my parents, my grandmother, and my grandmother's brother. My aunt's brother owns the place so no request was refused. Needless to say, they made me the most delicious pasta, veggie, and garlicky-olive oil dish I've ever eaten. On Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 4:02 AM, <yarrow wrote: At 2:37 AM -0400 4/29/10, fraggle wrote: if we go out as a group, it would only be to places we could go without feeling disgusted... >> That reminds me of a vegan friend I had who liked to eat out. One time we were planning to get falafels to eat outdoors, but after seeing the hunk of gyro meat rotating in the window, I lost my appetite and didn't want to buy food there. The vegan friend didn't understand at all when I chose to go across the street to buy my lunch at a different place. Same person refused to go to an all-vegan restaurant I liked because it didn't provide " value " for the money!! I guess that my being vegan made most of my relatives uncomfortable, since they'd never heard of or met another one, and they had no idea what vegans ate besides raw carrots. I did cook when I visited my parents. But when I visited other relatives, it would've been ok to bring a cake, but not other food. --- To send an email to -! Groups Links <*> / <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: /join ( ID required) <*> To change settings via email: -digest -fullfeatured <*> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2010 Well, with my family it is a completely different story of being cooperative. They are really struggling with this new change in our family. (9 months in). They still tend to have the attitude of you "really" can eat that but you just aren't, although that attitude is getting better. We went to Outback and ate. I made baked tofu at home and took it with my homemade ranch dressing. We ordered salads, sweet potatoes, and 3 sides of veggies. My son (not vegan) got the TooWamba-somethin pasta but no meat. It was the most expensive, dissatisfying meal we have had! =( But I was with my family and that is what mattered. We came back to my house and had wonderful vegan velveteen cupcakes ( & everyone loved them)! So that made us happy too!! I really appreciate everyone's input. I would love for my family to be as cooperative as some of you guys' families but they will eventually get the hang of it and be supportive as they have been for so many other things that have happened in my life. I have been blessed with a wonderful family that is struggling to understand our decisions, but they are trying to understand. That is all I can ask for and pray that they continue to see the light God has shown us. =) Blessings,Mikkiwww.funder5.blogspot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2010 Well done, Mikki! It sounds like you handled it with grace and aplomb! Wanna share the vegan cupcake recipe? :) Blessings, Mathew McCormick Unitarian-Universalists are often asked where they stand. The only true answer to give to this question is that we do not stand at all, we move.http://www.peopleschurch.net/ The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have too much, It is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. -President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 2nd Inaugural Address Matthew Morris McCormickGrace House721 Whitcomb St. Apt BKalamazoo, MI 49008Phone: 269.OXford 2.3692email: mattmcco On Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 10:10 AM, Mikki <miksadie wrote: Well, with my family it is a completely different story of being cooperative. They are really struggling with this new change in our family. (9 months in). They still tend to have the attitude of you " really " can eat that but you just aren't, although that attitude is getting better. We went to Outback and ate. I made baked tofu at home and took it with my homemade ranch dressing. We ordered salads, sweet potatoes, and 3 sides of veggies. My son (not vegan) got the TooWamba-somethin pasta but no meat. It was the most expensive, dissatisfying meal we have had! =( But I was with my family and that is what mattered. We came back to my house and had wonderful vegan velveteen cupcakes ( & everyone loved them)! So that made us happy too!! I really appreciate everyone's input. I would love for my family to be as cooperative as some of you guys' families but they will eventually get the hang of it and be supportive as they have been for so many other things that have happened in my life. I have been blessed with a wonderful family that is struggling to understand our decisions, but they are trying to understand. That is all I can ask for and pray that they continue to see the light God has shown us. =) Blessings,Mikkiwww.funder5.blogspot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted April 30, 2010 One more comment from me...Just that I have, in what is perhaps a surrender to the Mega-Chain food/restaurant industry, given up-completely-any hope whatsoever of finding true vegan offerings at chain restaurants. If I go out to dine, or breakfast, it is to a non-chain, local, usually very high quality establishment who I trust will truthfully tell me what is in their food. I've also taken to carrying around raisins and nuts (and a flask of filtered water)in the car, and keeping a bowl of fruit both at work and home. This way, if I'm invited out to a restaurant with, for example, a group from work, I can down my raisins and nuts with some water, feel full, and enjoy the company without feeling compelled to buy something at the restaurant. Occasionally, I drive a semi-truck for short USA trips, and I solve the food problem by taking my ice chest in the rig, and filling it with fruits, veggies, soy milk(for the coffee),fake cheese, condiments and maybe even some tofu burgers which I could microwave at a truck stop. Also, here in the states, I've found a book called " Healthy Highways " , published by a couple devoted to healthy eating on the road. Packed with listings of restaurants, grocers, health food stores, etc which offer vegan foodstuffs: http://www.healthyhighways.com/ In Peace and Gratitude, Matthew McCormick Unitarian-Universalists are often asked where they stand. The only true answer to give to this question is that we do not stand at all, we move.http://www.peopleschurch.net/ The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have too much, It is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. -President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 2nd Inaugural Address Matthew Morris McCormickGrace House721 Whitcomb St. Apt BKalamazoo, MI 49008Phone: 269.OXford 2.3692email: mattmcco On Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 2:49 PM, Matthew McCormick <mattmcco wrote: Well done, Mikki! It sounds like you handled it with grace and aplomb! Wanna share the vegan cupcake recipe? :) Blessings, Mathew McCormick Unitarian-Universalists are often asked where they stand. The only true answer to give to this question is that we do not stand at all, we move.http://www.peopleschurch.net/ The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have too much, It is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. -President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 2nd Inaugural Address Matthew Morris McCormickGrace House721 Whitcomb St. Apt BKalamazoo, MI 49008Phone: 269.OXford 2.3692email: mattmcco On Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 10:10 AM, Mikki <miksadie wrote: Well, with my family it is a completely different story of being cooperative. They are really struggling with this new change in our family. (9 months in). They still tend to have the attitude of you " really " can eat that but you just aren't, although that attitude is getting better. We went to Outback and ate. I made baked tofu at home and took it with my homemade ranch dressing. We ordered salads, sweet potatoes, and 3 sides of veggies. My son (not vegan) got the TooWamba-somethin pasta but no meat. It was the most expensive, dissatisfying meal we have had! =( But I was with my family and that is what mattered. We came back to my house and had wonderful vegan velveteen cupcakes ( & everyone loved them)! So that made us happy too!! I really appreciate everyone's input. I would love for my family to be as cooperative as some of you guys' families but they will eventually get the hang of it and be supportive as they have been for so many other things that have happened in my life. I have been blessed with a wonderful family that is struggling to understand our decisions, but they are trying to understand. That is all I can ask for and pray that they continue to see the light God has shown us. =) Blessings,Mikkiwww.funder5.blogspot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted May 1, 2010 The Velveteen cupcake recipe is from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World. I change it up a bit to leave out the red food coloring. Still taste devine but without the dye. Blessings,Mikkiwww.funder5.blogspot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
