Adopting child - The Dumas Family

[Guest guest]

Adopting child -

Shirley & James Dumas - Hammond, IN

 

The Dumas Family

Interviewed by Linda Kligman

 

 

 

This is the story of James and Shirley, a vegetarian couple who had always

wanted children and had talked about adopting several children with disabilities

in their home state of Indiana. Tragically, in 1996, their adopted son was taken

a way from them when he was 18 months old because of the state's misconstruing

his small size for some type of neglect caused by his parents choice of diet.

This is an excerpt of a series of email interviews with Shirley. Before you

began the adoption you had been encouraged to become foster parents. What about

our lifestyle was questioned? You see, we live right in the middle of the meat

and dairy industry. If there is not a part of a dead animal on the plate three

times a day and a dairy product at every meal, then you are not eating a healthy

diet. Simply put, we were not the norm. I supposed if we had changed, then they

would not have had a problem with us, but when you know what you are doing is

right and you have not only written proof of it

but you can see a physical change in yourself, why go backwards? Many of the

children that were placed with us had a background of drug usage by the parent

which lead to behavior problems with some of the children and slow growth

patterns in a couple of the children. With the help of our nutritionist, an

organic diet helped. Now we did not take the children off of meat and dairy but

we focused on a healthy diet of organic food. This was our first conflict with

the State of Indiana Child Welfare Division. Our healthy diet for the children

that were in our care was in their eyesight seen as neglect and abuse. When

you decided to begin your adoption application did you feel scrutinized by those

in power? My, yes. It is very difficult when outsiders are going over every

aspect of your life with a fine-toothed comb. You have people with different

ideas than yours; some may not approve of how you decide to worship, what your

plans are for the future for your family, and surprisingly

they may not approve of your lifestyle when it comes how you choose to nourish

your body. From the very beginning of our adoption process we felt as though we

were in a fishbowl of sorts. We had our nutritionist who was with us from the

beginning who helped advise us how to feed the child properly, and she also

worked with us on the types of vitamins and mineral supplement to give him as

she had with our foster children. How did people in your community react to

your adoption? When the baby came in May of 1995 he was 10 months old and they

were very excited. They played with him constantly, fed him, changed him - there

was never a problem there. But in our church the fact that we were vegetarian,

and the separate fact that the baby was small, seemed to be a big issue to some

of the members. According to the medical records our son was at a normal growth

rate, but he was small of stature and would continue to have a pattern of slow

growth due to his birth mother's use of drugs

and alcohol use. Several were nurses and others worked in the medical field,

and they assumed that the smallness of our child was due to the fact that we

were vegetarian, and they feared that he was not being fed properly. Some

decided to contact the Child Protection Services (CPS) about their concerns and

on a Sunday morning January 26, 1996, two ladies from the CPS along with two

policemen came into our church looking for us. At church James learned that they

had told the pastor that they were looking for us and that we should not even

have the child, we should not have been able to adopt and that we had adopted

our son illegally. No respect for the church or the Pastor, nor were they

truthful. We had not adopted our son; we were in pre-adoption status and we had

our paperwork in order. We contacted the CPS office and they came to our house

in what seemed within minutes, coming into our home demanding to see the child.

We had a witness from the church there with us for support.

We did as we were told to do and we tried to keep our son as calm as possible.

They had us strip our son, and they found no marks or bruises and it seemed that

they were upset about that. They went on to ask us to let them inspect our

refrigerator. They asked what we fed the child. They said that they did not see

any soy formula. There was some, but they did not recognize it, as they did not

see the package that was what they were selling in the regular market. Also the

child was off of formula and on regular food by that time, he was being fed

Earth's Best baby food along with soy milk and goat's milk and other organic

food. They then wanted to see the baby's room, so with policemen with guns, what

other choice do you have but to let them go ahead? They returned to the living

room and remarked, " The child is small for his size. " We showed them all the

medical records that we received from the adoption agency that showed he was

small for his size due to his mother's use of alcohol

and drugs during her early months of pregnancy. We had the paperwork in order

but they seemed bent on taking this child out of our home. They did just that.

We were asked to dress our baby and we did warmly and lovingly. We dressed him

and we prayed that he would be treated well, and we told him we loved him, and

they took him away. As a couple, what were you able to do to support each

other? We knew that we had done nothing wrong, and we had seen the expressions

of concern on some of the faces on the people in our church and heard some

secondhand remarks of concern about our son in reference to our diet. Here was a

child who was small for his size. They did not know why, and they did not come

to us to ask any questions. They just went with what they saw and they got with

others who thought the same way, and their concern grew and someone suggested

that someone needed to do something about the vegetarian family. My husband and

I are Christians, and our strength comes from God.

We prayed together, cried together, of course, but the more we talked about

what had happened, we began to see that the people who turned us in were caught

up in the moment. Our bond as husband and wife became stronger, and that has

continued to this day. We had to work hard to keep our minds from going back to

that day because it bought back the feeling that no matter what, when the law is

not on your side, there is nothing you can do at that time. What are your

options now...is there a strategy you can pursue to create a family? Well,

Linda, we are a family, James and I; we do want to add to it. We were never

charged with a crime though CPS tried very hard to do this. We were asked to

sign papers saying that we had neglected or abused our son but we signed nothing

and as they did not have a case they did not go any further. But that left us

sort of in limbo, but with the help of a lawyer who can go into our States

records. Some things need to be cleared up before we can start

the process again. We are talking with a lawyer to see if there is a

possibility that we can do a domestic adoption of two children. A very wonderful

person by the name of Gail Davis is going out of her way to help us. We are

blessed that she has taken the time and energy to do so many wonderful things

for us.

It seems quite odd since recently we were watching CNN news and a report came on

that tells that many school lunch programs are including organic vegetables and

fruit for the children. How unusual it is that here in the State of Indiana a

vegetarian family can lose their child for what in other states is now being

seen as a healthy lifestyle choice. How confusing it would be if State Officials

showed up at some of these schools and questioned their choices?

'); document.write('Send feedback about this article'); // End --> Send

feedback about this article

Please address all mail to:

Melanie Wilson, PSC 461 Box 300, FPO AP 96521

Please do not use " Vegetarianbaby.com " anywhere on the packaging. Thank you!

www.vegetarianbaby.com

Email: '); document.write('Email Us'); // End --> Email Us

 

 

http://www.vegetarianbaby.com/interviews/dumasfamily.shtml

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Maynard,

Do you have an update on this couple. This tragedy happened a few years

ago, before we adopted our own daughter. She's now 28 months. I hope

they have been able to adopt and have finalization papers. I know the

fear they must have in their hearts that someone close to them will set

this in motion all over again.

Carrol

 

, " Maynard S. Clark "

<MaynardClark@Y...> wrote:

>

> Adopting child -

> Shirley & James Dumas - Hammond, IN

>

> The Dumas Family

> Interviewed by Linda Kligman

>

>