Relationships/Dating.

[Guest guest]

Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please describe

challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships that you have had.

 

Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

 

Vijay

[Guest guest]

My biggest concern on this is that, if all should work out long term

with Boyfriend, my income could conceivably end up (indirectly) being

spent on his consumption of meat, and I don't feel great about that...

Gaije

On Sun, 1 Aug 2004 7:35pm, rvijay07 wrote:

> Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please

> describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships

> that you have had.

Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

Vijay

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

Wow, I never even thought about it like that! I wouldn't be to fond of that either.

PJ

 

My biggest concern on this is that, if all should work out long term with Boyfriend, my income could conceivably end up (indirectly) being spent on his consumption of meat, and I don't feel great about that...Gaije"Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile."

 

With lots of love,

***PJ***

 

Mail is new and improved - Check it out!

[Guest guest]

I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

 

Jo

 

> Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

>

> Vijay

[Guest guest]

ya know..its only been an issue AFTER the relationship has ended..more er less...

i've only been with one person who wasn't vegan/veggie, er didn't turn veggie relatively quickly..and that relationship lasted a whole 6 weeks...tho, we did live together fer like 2 more years

hahahaha

sadly, i've had at least 2 ex's return to barbarism after the breakup

 

fragglervijay07 wrote:

Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships that you have had.Also anyone looking for dates can post here.Vijay :)To send an email to -

 

Mail is new and improved - Check it out!

[Guest guest]

Two more YEARS???? Codependent no more is nothing but the title of a

book for you, is it Fraggle?

 

Gaije

On Mon, 2 Aug 2004 3:43pm, mark martone wrote:

> ya know..its only been an issue AFTER the relationship has ended..more

> er less...

> i've only been with one person who wasn't vegan/veggie, er didn't turn

> veggie relatively quickly..and that relationship lasted a whole 6

> weeks...tho, we did live together fer like 2 more years

> hahahaha

> sadly, i've had at least 2 ex's return to barbarism after the breakup

>

> fraggle

>

> rvijay07 wrote:

> Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please

> describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships

> that you have had.

>

> Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

>

> Vijay

>

>

>

>

> To send an email to -

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, it's not currently an issue, but we're both in our (very early!)

30's, and so I at least can't help thinking about what it would be like,

if things should continue to go well for any significant length of

time.... As he tends not to eat meat when I'm around, and was recently

concerned that the sight of him eating an egg salad sandwich would gross

me out (didn't, so long as I didn't have to eat the nasty thing!), I'm

guessing we could come to some kind of compromise if we were to

cohabitate, wherein there would be no flesh (and hopefully no animal

products period, but I *THINK* I could live with just no flesh) brought

into the house. I don't really think I have any business telling

someone else what to do/ what not to do, so that would keep it from

being any kind of regular/major expense, and maybe kind of put him on

the road to veg. This is all of course highly theoretical at this

point! I think he'd be terrified to know I was even discussing him in

this context, though, I don't know, he has been surprising me a lot

lately!

 

Gaije

On Mon, 2 Aug 2004 3:54pm, PJ wrote:

> Wow, I never even thought about it like that! I wouldn't be to fond of

> that either.

> PJ

>

> My biggest concern on this is that, if all should work out long term

> with Boyfriend, my income could conceivably end up (indirectly) being

> spent on his consumption of meat, and I don't feel great about that...

> Gaije

>

>

>

> " Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile. "

>

> With lots of love,

> ***PJ***

>

>

>

>

> Mail is new and improved - Check it out!

--gaije

[Guest guest]

It was actually the accepting nature of a vegan guy I dated that

helped turn me toward veganism. I had been vegetarian for several

years at the time. I guess the critical factors that made the

situation work were that he was never critical of my non-vegan

choices, but would gently show me (via articles and his own

knowledge) how these choices were actually undermining my vegetarian

choices. He provided lots of facts and logical ideas, but mostly he

made me tons of delicious vegan food. I guess in that situation, the

challenge was all at his end, but I think we have to realize that

some people have just never even considered being vegan (I certainly

hadn't). It is not ness a reason to just drop them like a hot potato,

just like you wouldn't want to be dropped the second someone found

out you were vegan.

sara

Dates, ummmm.... I love dates....

 

, rvijay07@m... wrote:

> Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please

describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships

that you have had.

>

> Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

>

> Vijay

[Guest guest]

nope..never heard of the book

hahahahhaa

Two more YEARS???? Codependent no more is nothing but the title of a book for you, is it Fraggle?GaijeOn Mon, 2 Aug 2004 3:43pm, mark martone wrote:> ya know..its only been an issue AFTER the relationship has ended..more > er less...> i've only been with one person who wasn't vegan/veggie, er didn't turn > veggie relatively quickly..and that relationship lasted a whole 6 > weeks...tho, we did live together fer like 2 more years> hahahaha> sadly, i've had at least 2 ex's return to barbarism after the breakup>> fraggle>> rvijay07 wrote:> Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please > describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships > that you have had.>> Also anyone looking for dates can post

here.>> Vijay >>>>> To send an email to - >>>

[Guest guest]

, Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> Well, it's not currently an issue, but we're both in our (very early!)

> 30's, and

 

 

Changing people is hard. Expecting others to change just for a Relationship is

not fair as deep inside they may not wish that change. Specially, this doesn't

happen fast and sometimes can take a few years. The older the people are the

more they are used to their habits and the harder it is to change in general.

These are just my observations.

 

Vijay

[Guest guest]

, " Jo " <Heartwork@o...> wrote:

> I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

>

> Jo

>

 

 

Please see the first line on the home page. It says Vegans can chat about

anything and everything. There is no harm in posting what one is looking for

here. For eg., if one is looking for special vegan ingredients or kitchen

equipment, they can post that also here.

 

In the net everyone is usually very far away. All members here from what I have

seen are very friendly and mature. Hence, there can be general discussions and a

learning experience that follow from this.

 

Best Regards,

 

Vijay

[Guest guest]

I agree. That notion creeps me out a little, to be honest.

 

Gaije

On Mon, 2 Aug 2004 5:21pm, Jo wrote:

> I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

Jo

> Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

>

> Vijay

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

What? You mean you never watch Oprah?

Gaije

On Mon, 2 Aug 2004 5:39pm, mark martone wrote:

> nope..never heard of the book

> hahahahhaa

>

>

> Two more YEARS???? Codependent no more is nothing but the title of a

> book for you, is it Fraggle?

>

> Gaije

> On Mon, 2 Aug 2004 3:43pm, mark martone wrote:

>> ya know..its only been an issue AFTER the relationship has ended..more

>> er less...

>> i've only been with one person who wasn't vegan/veggie, er didn't turn

>> veggie relatively quickly..and that relationship lasted a whole 6

>> weeks...tho, we did live together fer like 2 more years

>> hahahaha

>> sadly, i've had at least 2 ex's return to barbarism after the breakup

>>

>> fraggle

>>

>> rvijay07 wrote:

>> Since this cameup I thought of starting a topic on this. Please

>> describe challenges/vital factors of any vegan/non-Veg. relationships

>> that you have had.

>>

>> Also anyone looking for dates can post here.

>>

>> Vijay

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> To send an email to -

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

I agree, that's why I'm thinking ahead about compromises we both could

live with without either feeling rotten about it.

Gaije

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 2:38am, rvijay07 wrote:

> , Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> Well, it's not currently an issue, but we're both in our (very early!)

> 30's, and

Changing people is hard. Expecting others to change just for a

Relationship is not fair as deep inside they may not wish that change.

Specially, this doesn't happen fast and sometimes can take a few years.

The older the people are the more they are used to their habits and the

harder it is to change in general. These are just my observations.

Vijay 

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

That's all well and good, but bringing that stuff in directly alters the

dynamic of the group in a way I don't imagine I, for one, would like

much! There are SO MANY niche online dating sites these days... I know

there's one for Buddhists, one for dog owners, I bet there's one for

veg. As well! Look for that, why don't you?

Gaije

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 2:44am, rvijay07 wrote:

> , " Jo " <Heartwork@o...> wrote:

> I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

>

> Jo

>  

Please see the first line on the home page. It says Vegans can chat

about anything and everything. There is no harm in posting what one is

looking for here. For eg., if one is looking for special vegan

ingredients or kitchen equipment, they can post that also here.

In the net everyone is usually very far away. All members here from what

I have seen are very friendly and mature. Hence, there can be general

discussions and a learning experience that follow from this.

Best Regards,

Vijay

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

, Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> I bet there's one for

> veg. As well! Look for that, why don't you?

> Gaije

 

This is just a suggestion for those interested in this. Those who are not

comfortable can just ignore. There are several members here with diverse

interests. If a post/topic doesn't interest me I just choose to ignore it.

 

Best Regards,

 

Vijay

[Guest guest]

, Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> There are SO MANY niche online dating sites these days... I know

> there's one for Buddhists, one for dog owners, I bet there's one for

> veg. As well! Look for that, why don't you?

> Gaije

> On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 2:44am, rvijay07@m... wrote:

> > , " Jo " <Heartwork@o...> wrote:

> > I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

> >

> > Jo

 

 

Personally, I am *MARRIED* to a Tornado. This is the Tornado of fast changing

Technology/Economy. This Tornado decided to stay with me, made several fast

changes in life and didn't give me time for anything else. I am quite occupied

and honestly do not have time for another person in my life. Felt this way 5

years ago, made a decision to stay single and so far it has been an excellent

decision. Making peace with this Tornado has greatly helped me.

 

Vijay

[Guest guest]

" Please email me if you'd like a date " is too short a conversation to

qualify as a chat. This simply isn't a dating Group.

 

rvijay07 wrote:

>

> Please see the first line on the home page. It says Vegans can chat about

anything and everything.

[Guest guest]

Hi Gaije,

Well, consider yourself lucky for now. My live in boyfriend of 2 years (we're living together for 4 months now) didn't even let me finish my sentence when he rejected the thought of becoming vegetarian. This is all new to me, so it's a bit difficult at times, due to the fact that I am the only vegetarian I know. (I'm looking to become vegan, but one step at a time)

Now, I am not one to tell anyone what to do, but it really upset me that he didn't even consider the idea. Not only that, but I have to sit there while he cooks his steak, chicken, or pork, and he wants me to help him cook it on top of everything.

I don't know how important being with someone of your own beliefs is.

 

Well, it's not currently an issue, but we're both in our (very early!) 30's, and so I at least can't help thinking about what it would be like, if things should continue to go well for any significant length of time.... As he tends not to eat meat when I'm around, and was recently concerned that the sight of him eating an egg salad sandwich would gross me out (didn't, so long as I didn't have to eat the nasty thing!), I'm guessing we could come to some kind of compromise if we were to cohabitate, wherein there would be no flesh (and hopefully no animal products period, but I *THINK* I could live with just no flesh) brought into the house. I don't really think I have any business telling someone else what to do/ what not to do, so that would keep it from being any kind of regular/major expense, and maybe kind of put him on the road to veg. This is all of course highly theoretical at this point! I think he'd be terrified to know I

was even discussing him in this context, though, I don't know, he has been surprising me a lot lately!Gaije"Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile."

 

With lots of love,

***PJ***

 

 

[Guest guest]

It's not necessarily so important to be with someone who shares all of

my beliefs - someone too like me would probably get awfully tedious!

What's more important to me, is that he not disrespect them (as yours so

clearly does!), and you know, probably just no flesh in the house would

be ok for me.

 

I feel like you need to be stricter with yours. Sounds like he's got

all the power around your house, and that's never a good thing. You

DON'T have to sit there while he cooks of his nastiness. You could

leave the house for a bit - go get a coffee, see a friend, go to a

movie, whatever. Maybe if he figures out that, bringing home meat means

you're out for the evening, he'll give it up?

Gaije

 

 

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 9:36am, PJ wrote:

> Hi Gaije,

> Well, consider yourself lucky for now. My live in boyfriend of 2 years

> (we're living together for 4 months now) didn't even let me finish my

> sentence when he rejected the thought of becoming vegetarian. This is

> all new to me, so it's a bit difficult at times, due to the fact that I

> am the only vegetarian I know. (I'm looking to become vegan, but one

> step at a time)

> Now, I am not one to tell anyone what to do, but it really upset me

> that he didn't even consider the idea. Not only that, but I have to

> sit there while he cooks his steak, chicken, or pork, and he wants me

> to help him cook it on top of everything.

> I don't know how important being with someone of your own beliefs is.

>

> Well, it's not currently an issue, but we're both in our (very early!)

> 30's, and so I at least can't help thinking about what it would be

> like, if things should continue to go well for any significant length

> of time.... As he tends not to eat meat when I'm around, and was

> recently concerned that the sight of him eating an egg salad sandwich

> would gross me out (didn't, so long as I didn't have to eat the nasty

> thing!), I'm guessing we could come to some kind of compromise if we

> were to cohabitate, wherein there would be no flesh (and hopefully no

> animal products period, but I *THINK* I could live with just no flesh)

> brought into the house. I don't really think I have any business

> telling someone else what to do/ what not to do, so that would keep it

> from being any kind of regular/major expense, and maybe kind of put him

> on the road to veg. This is all of course highly theoretical at this

> point! I think he'd be terrified to know I was even discussing him in

> this context, though, I

> don't know, he has been surprising me a lot lately!

>

> Gaije

>

>

>

> " Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile. "

>

> With lots of love,

> ***PJ***

>

>

>

>

>

--gaije

[Guest guest]

But... I don't think there are many postings so off-topic or

uninteresting to some but still on topic which have the potential to

change the nature of the group, as bringing in the dating stuff does.

 

Gaije

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 3:15am, rvijay07 wrote:

> , Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> I bet there's one for

> veg. As well!  Look for that, why don't you?

> Gaije

This is just a suggestion for those interested in this. Those who are

not comfortable can just ignore. There are several members here with

diverse interests. If a post/topic doesn't interest me I just choose to

ignore it.

Best Regards,

Vijay

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

Sounds awful to me! Do you see this marriage opening up at some point,

or are you thinking this is it?

Gaije

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 3:24am, rvijay07 wrote:

> , Gaije Kushner <gaije@t...> wrote:

> There are SO MANY niche online dating sites these days... I know

> there's one for Buddhists, one for dog owners, I bet there's one for

> veg. As well!  Look for that, why don't you?

> Gaije

> On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 2:44am, rvijay07@m... wrote:

> > , " Jo " <Heartwork@o...> wrote:

> >  I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

> >

> >  Jo

Personally, I am *MARRIED* to a Tornado. This is the Tornado of fast

changing Technology/Economy. This Tornado decided to stay with me, made

several fast changes in life and didn't give me time for anything else.

I am quite occupied and honestly do not have time for another person in

my life. Felt this way 5 years ago, made a decision to stay single and

so far it has been an excellent decision. Making peace with this Tornado

has greatly helped me.

Vijay

To send an email to -

 

[Guest guest]

Wow, I love the way you think. I will def. try that, even if he doesn't give up meat, at least I don't have to be around when he's cooking it. Thank you!

 

It's not necessarily so important to be with someone who shares all of my beliefs - someone too like me would probably get awfully tedious! What's more important to me, is that he not disrespect them (as yours so clearly does!), and you know, probably just no flesh in the house would be ok for me.I feel like you need to be stricter with yours. Sounds like he's got all the power around your house, and that's never a good thing. You DON'T have to sit there while he cooks of his nastiness. You could leave the house for a bit - go get a coffee, see a friend, go to a movie, whatever. Maybe if he figures out that, bringing home meat means you're out for the evening, he'll give it up?Gaije"Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile."

 

With lots of love,

***PJ***

 

 

[Guest guest]

Good luck!

Gaije

On Tue, 3 Aug 2004 11:08am, PJ wrote:

> Wow, I love the way you think. I will def. try that, even if he

> doesn't give up meat, at least I don't have to be around when he's

> cooking it. Thank you!

>

> It's not necessarily so important to be with someone who shares all of

> my beliefs - someone too like me would probably get awfully tedious!

> What's more important to me, is that he not disrespect them (as yours

> so

> clearly does!), and you know, probably just no flesh in the house would

> be ok for me.

>

> I feel like you need to be stricter with yours. Sounds like he's got

> all the power around your house, and that's never a good thing. You

> DON'T have to sit there while he cooks of his nastiness. You could

> leave the house for a bit - go get a coffee, see a friend, go to a

> movie, whatever. Maybe if he figures out that, bringing home meat

> means

> you're out for the evening, he'll give it up?

> Gaije

>

>

> " Never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile. "

>

> With lots of love,

> ***PJ***

>

>

>

>

>

--gaije

[Guest guest]

Hi Vijay ( & all)

 

> > I don't think so - it's not a dating list.

> Please see the first line on the home page. It says Vegans can chat about

anything and everything. There is no harm in posting what one is looking for

here. For

> eg., if one is looking for special vegan ingredients or kitchen equipment,

they can post that also here.

> In the net everyone is usually very far away. All members here from what I

have seen are very friendly and mature. Hence, there can be general

discussions and a

> learning experience that follow from this.

 

I'm not sure what sparked the original comments, as I've been a bit busy

lately, so Jo has been keeping an eye on things for me. In fact, both you

and Jo are correct... people are welcome to talk about anything and

everything provided it is kept polite. However, we are also not a dating

list, and if people join purely with the intention of sending in a " personal

ad " , I would treat that as any other person who has joined just to advertise

something, and reject the post.

 

We are primarily a list for vegans to have discussions we don't welcome

people who join just to advertise (themselves or any other product) - and

yes, that goes for vegan products as well! - In fact, the final line of the

intro states: " Please note that if your introduction [to the list] appears

to be an advertisement, it will not reach the list, and you may be removed! "

 

I hope that helps with the clarification, and apologies if I've

misunderstood what this discussion was all about!

 

BB

Peter