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Mercky Jerkey - A medifable

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A Bebop Medi-fable: Merckey Jerky

 

Once upon a time in the state of Drugyoutoodetholis (drug-u-to’- deth-o-lis), in the land of the United Statutes of Limitations, an egg named Merckey Jerkey was depressed over the state of his health. He decided to sit on the edge of a roof to mull over his options in life. A crowd gathered. Some pleading with him not to jump, while others cheered him on to get him to jump.

 

Bad news travels at the speed of cell phone transmissions and, almost immediately, representatives of the Inhumana Insurance Company and the Lotsaluck Insurance Company tried to sell him health and life insurance, respectively, since he was soon likely to need both of them.

 

Shortly after, lawyers from the Schmuck, Shark, and Doom legal firm (former employees of the Merck, Sharpe, and Dome drug company) stood by to be sure none of his rights were violated and that professionals at the scene played by the “rules of the game” (Standards of Practice). They were on the roof with Merckey and below at the projected splash-down site.

 

Last to arrive on the roof were the crack psychiatrists from the Psychoceramics (crackpot) Department of the nearby Neardeth Hospital. They came with prescription pads and pens in hand and samples of brain-altering drugs. For 15 minutes they tried to convince him to take the drugs and not jump. Promptly, after 15 minutes, they left the scene telling Merckey his time was up as they departed to the next jump

site.

 

In confusion and despair, with his yolk in a turmoil, Merckey fell off the wall. No one did anything to cushion the final impact. After he hit the ground, all the king’s orthopedists and all the king’s prescription pens couldn’t put Merckey together again. The lawyers quickly put together lawsuits against all professions that appeared at the site - and even those who didn’t show up. The Eggshell Recycling Team quickly scooped up fragments to repair slightly cracked eggs elsewhere. The

Yolk and Albumin Team gathered up the rest to check for stem cells and proteins that could be used in research - and as face creams.

 

But Merckey was gone – forever.

 

Congress quickly convened and sought to introduce new legislation to help in situations such as this. Mostly they tried to see if they could divert funds from the near-bankrupt Social Insecurity Fund to spend on the near-failing Muddycare Fund.

 

And this, boys and girls, is why our diseasecare system, which is not a healthcare system, is not working.

 

 

written and copyrighted by A. J. (Tony) DeAngelis. MS, RD, LN/D

eMail : tntstuart

 

May be reprinted, but not edited, with permission of the writer

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