Guest guest Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Olivier I know how you feel about your Mother and you are right that was not fair what they did.......you know when I lost my Mother they sent her home with hospice to die. I did not know that but as soon as they got her home, they cut off all water, food and medicine....which I thought was pretty damn pitful, and if I had of know what they were planning I would have fought against my family for that......but I knew she wanted to die at home, but what a price to pay........dehyrdration and fighting for your life.......and loose. The medical field is not what people think it is........am experiencing something like this now with a greatgrandson that was just born, they wanted and insitied doing a C-Section and mommie would not go for that so they induced labor and the baby was 4 weeks early (for there damn convience) and now the baby has problems....they take a lot of life, and do not give anything in return........just my opinion of our medical doctors. Most of them think they are GOD!! Sorry just had to vent. God Bless you Olivier and I will pray that you can get past your pain, in time. Violet Huh!! so this is what I been waiting for the Golden Years. Hmmmmmm!! Not quite what I was expecting.........LOL Love, Laugh and Live, Violet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2009 Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 Violet,I am so sorry. This must have been difficult for you. Hospice has certainly changed in the past few years. In 2005, when my mom was on hospice, I was able to feed her and hydrate her. And if anyone told me not to, I conveniently, didn't hear them.Hugs,oleander soup , VIOLET HOLLAND <violetinflorida01 wrote:>> Olivier I know how you feel about your Mother and you are right that was not fair what> they did.......you know when I lost my Mother they sent her home with hospice to die.> I did not know that but as soon as they got her home, they cut off all water, food and > medicine....which I thought was pretty damn pitful, and if I had of know what they were> planning I would have fought against my family for that......but I knew she wanted to die> at home, but what a price to pay........dehyrdration and fighting for your life.......and loose.> The medical field is not what people think it is........am experiencing something like this> now with a greatgrandson that was just born, they wanted and insitied doing a C-Section> and mommie would not go for that so they induced labor and the baby was 4 weeks early> (for there damn convience) and now the baby has problems....they take a lot of life, and> do not give anything in return........just my opinion of our medical doctors. Most of them> think they are GOD!!> Sorry just had to vent.> God Bless you Olivier and I will pray that you can get past your pain, in time.> Violet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2009 Report Share Posted December 2, 2009 Hello ... I keep reading what you folks are saying about hospice and what they did, etc....Hospice is not a loose cannon organization they have to abide by law and they work under doctors orders. They offer many services...but the palliative care is directed toward the end of life. In most cases the patient has requested hospice care. Most hospitals in the US require that a patient especially one who is under going surgery or who have a terminal illness to provide their living will and advance directives for medical decisions when they enter the hospital. These are of course the guide lines for what happens unless the decision has been left up to the family (in the directives) ...which is sad indeed for this causes a lot of unnecessary pain for all concerned. My mother just died in October and she had everything spelled out as to what she wanted. When a loved one is dying there is not much that we can do except love and protect them.... and keep them as comfortable as possible...this is where hospice palliative care comes in. It is a blessing!! One thing that I think happens a lot these day is.... people do not prepare for their death....It is almost like we think we will live forever.....but we don't even know if we will be here next week or not .....no matter how healthy we may be today.. I have had my will, POA, Medical POA and Medical Advance Directive for many years.....because I wanted to spare my daughter having to deal with making these kind of decisions at my dealth....she is in her 40s and I have a copy of her paper work. In my area (Florida) the living will is part of the paperwork at admin into the hospital. Dealing with my mother's passing was all very rough to deal with ....we were living in Florida while the rest of the family was up north.... I know in my heart that I could not have made it through the ordeal with out the wonderful people of hospice They were my support system as well as giving care. I would say that Hospic is still the same great organzation and you could still feed your mother and hydrate her if that was what she wanted. They did not encourage me not to feed my mother....I stopped when my mother clamped her mouth closed every time I tried to force her to eat. In an indirect way everyone on this forum was part of my support group...as I tuned in and read what was happening and what you folks were sharing..your hopes, losses and love...I felt a real connection and closeness to each of you....I thank you. I have been thinking of Oliver and hope that he is well. Find your passion Oliver and throw yourself into it......eat, drink and sleep it! It will help you move forward. I am so sorry that anyone had a bad experience with Hospice. Is it possible there was some misunderstanding? Blessing Bobbi Henderson - M oleander soup Tuesday, December 01, 2009 6:28 PM Re: Olivier's Mother Violet,I am so sorry. This must have been difficult for you. Hospice has certainly changed in the past few years. In 2005, when my mom was on hospice, I was able to feed her and hydrate her. And if anyone told me not to, I conveniently, didn't hear them.Hugs,oleander soup , VIOLET HOLLAND <violetinflorida01 wrote:>> Olivier I know how you feel about your Mother and you are right that was not fair what> they did.......you know when I lost my Mother they sent her home with hospice to die.> I did not know that but as soon as they got her home, they cut off all water, food and > medicine....which I thought was pretty damn pitful, and if I had of know what they were> planning I would have fought against my family for that......but I knew she wanted to die> at home, but what a price to pay........dehyrdration and fighting for your life.......and loose.> The medical field is not what people think it is........am experiencing something like this> now with a greatgrandson that was just born, they wanted and insitied doing a C-Section> and mommie would not go for that so they induced labor and the baby was 4 weeks early> (for there damn convience) and now the baby has problems....they take a lot of life, and> do not give anything in return........just my opinion of our medical doctors. Most of them> think they are GOD!!> Sorry just had to vent.> God Bless you Olivier and I will pray that you can get past your pain, in time.> Violet Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.426 / Virus Database: 270.14.89/2539 - Release 12/01/09 19:32:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2009 Report Share Posted December 2, 2009 Bless your heart Bobbi, I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My heart goes out to you.I guess it depends upon the hospice situation, but I have heard of instances where a person's living will has been ignored, sometimes leaving the family to fight for their loved one's wishes. I agree with you that the most important thing is to abide by the person's wishes and I will share with you that the hardest thing I ever had to do was to respect my own mother's DNR wish and watch her cross over into the next world.The death process is a very individual one. When a person refuses to eat on their own accord, that is one thing. It is part of the process of the body shutting down. Yet, I cannot see jumping the gun and "helping nature." Again, I have heard first hand accounts with regard to this. For this reason, that is why any loved one of mine would be in hospice at home, where I would have control. I would never trust them as to my loved one's care.Even though back when my mom was in hospice, the rules were not as strict, I am going to share with you that even though others have had wonderful things to say about the support that hospice gave them, in my situation, they failed me miserably in this regard, and I was left to deal with my mother's death alone. Since this is off topic, if you like, I would be glad to share more of this with you privately. I, too, feel blessed to know you. You have shared valuable insight with this group. My thoughts have also been with Olivier. I, too, hope he is okay. Well, as okay as can be expected.Many Hugs,With regardoleander soup , "bobbi henderson" <bobbi10 wrote:>> Hello ... I keep reading what you folks are saying about hospice and what they did, etc....Hospice is not a loose cannon organization they have to abide by law and they work under doctors orders. They offer many services...but the palliative care is directed toward the end of life. In most cases the patient has requested hospice care. Most hospitals in the US require that a patient especially one who is under going surgery or who have a terminal illness to provide their living will and advance directives for medical decisions when they enter the hospital. These are of course the guide lines for what happens unless the decision has been left up to the family (in the directives) ...which is sad indeed for this causes a lot of unnecessary pain for all concerned. My mother just died in October and she had everything spelled out as to what she wanted. When a loved one is dying there is not much that we can do except love and protect them.... and keep them as comfortable as possible...this is where hospice palliative care comes in. It is a blessing!!> > One thing that I think happens a lot these day is.... people do not prepare for their death....It is almost like we think we will live forever.....but we don't even know if we will be here next week or not .....no matter how healthy we may be today.. I have had my will, POA, Medical POA and Medical Advance Directive for many years.....because I wanted to spare my daughter having to deal with making these kind of decisions at my dealth....she is in her 40s and I have a copy of her paper work. In my area (Florida) the living will is part of the paperwork at admin into the hospital. Dealing with my mother's passing was all very rough to deal with ....we were living in Florida while the rest of the family was up north.... I know in my heart that I could not have made it through the ordeal with out the wonderful people of hospice They were my support system as well as giving care. I would say that Hospic is still the same great organzation and you could still feed your mother and hydrate her if that was what she wanted. They did not encourage me not to feed my mother....I stopped when my mother clamped her mouth closed every time I tried to force her to eat. In an indirect way everyone on this forum was part of my support group...as I tuned in and read what was happening and what you folks were sharing..your hopes, losses and love...I felt a real connection and closeness to each of you....I thank you.> > I have been thinking of Oliver and hope that he is well. Find your passion Oliver and throw yourself into it......eat, drink and sleep it! It will help you move forward.> > I am so sorry that anyone had a bad experience with Hospice. Is it possible there was some misunderstanding? > > Blessing > Bobbi Henderson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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