Pagan Poet's Review Issue #2

September 2, 2006

Mabon recipes are included! So is my thing, ya all better read it! LOL! The articles are great and the poems are wonderful! ENJOY!

Pagan Poet’s Review

Issue #2

This issue of PPR is dedicated to the memory of Roseann Cordasco, who was killed three weeks ago in a domestic violence incident.

If you, or anyone you know, is being abused, please go to http://www.ncadv.org

This is the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. They have links for every state in the union.

If you are an abuse survivor, and need somewhere to talk, you are welcome at havenhome

This group is Pagan/Witch only.

If you need more links, or you need to talk to someone who cares, please contact me offlist at autolykos63

You do not have to live in fear. Pain is NOT a part of love.

Wolfie’s Words

Originally, this column was written on the subject of freedom of speech. Man, it was a great one. Would have gotten a lot of people fired up. But I changed my mind, after computer goblins ate my hard drive, and I lost that column to the great document heaven in the sky.

Instead, I would like to talk about the difference between TALENT and GIFT.

Talent is cheap. Believe me. I know many, many talented people. Dime a dozen. They entertain us every day, in every possible media form. For instance:

Talented: Jessica Simpson

Gifted: Mariah Carey

Talented: Gwyneth Paltrow

Gifted: Glenn Close

Talented: me

Gifted: Dylan Thomas

See what I mean? There’s a biiiigggg difference.

The arts are now being taken over by merely talented people who are beginning to believe their own hype. Their "people" spoon feed them all kinds of ego-stroking pap, until these people actually believe they are creating something immortal.

But they aren’t.

They are adding nothing to the sum of human arts.

In two thousand years…will our descendants find immortal pieces of marble, to make them drop their jaws? Are the politics and money games of the ancients the things we see now that put us in a state of awe? No. It is their writing, their sculpture, their painting. Their gifts.

Mere talent is boring after a while. That’s why your favorite TV show gets cancelled. People get bored with the writing, and the acting. And then sponsors won’t pay to advertise anymore…for the same time slot they paid through the teeth for a couple of years ago. This is mere talent.

Once in a great while, a man or woman appears who stands head and shoulders above the crowd. There are fewer and fewer of them, though, with each passing generation. Mankind has become so money-obsessed, he is losing his taste for the arts, except as an investment.

One thing I love about Paganism is…our cultivation and encouragement of our talented and gifted artists. It is part and parcel of our religion, for the most part. We accept, and enjoy, handmade artisan creations, song, dance, poetry, and stories.

So, thanks, my fellow Pagans. Keep writing. Keep painting, singing, playing. And teach your children that the arts are not a thing to be sold, but a thing to be treasured. They are the gifts we leave to the future.

Poetic Voices

i’m getting mean,and i don’t like it,but i just can’t take all the bad poetry I’m seeing.i know i should stop looking,because there’s nothing goodout there…nothing with heart and guts and soul, but i keep on looking.and i get the letters…my son’s a writer.he’s had some things published in 2 online magazinesand he intends to be a poet.he’s written sonnets,and has the most absolutely lovelyrhymes.i feel so goodand special andsweetwhen i read his things.i even told himhe should send some of his poemsto hallmark,they’re that good.i’m just writing to you becausei heard you’rea poet also.even though ii never read any of your poemsi just had to tell you that he wants to be a poet in the worst way and i’m writing to you to hear what you had to say.dear ma’am, it’s too late…i received your letter this morning concerning your son wanting to be a poet in the worst way…i’m afraid he already is.

--John Yamrus

(John has two new books out, One Step at a Time, and Blue Collar, both available from http://www.publishamerica.com, or your favorite bookseller. His personal website is http://www.tripod.com/johnyamrus Click on the "contact me" when you get there. John loves hearing from his readers.)

~Precious lost Land~

Something about coffee perking in the early morn,

The smell of Mother Earth after an evening storm.

Taste of sweet red apples inside you dry mouth,

Holding a finger up to feel if the wind is in the south.

Warm breezes blow upon your face sweet and soft,

Hens cluck to chicks as they follow her to the hayloft.

Cats sleep with kittens in the warm summer sun,

Squirrels and coons chattering untill day is done.

Pink and purple violets popping up in flower beds,

Yellow sunflowers bobbing their new little heads.

Picket white fences home for mama and papa dove,

Fluffy clouds floating peacefully in blue skies above.

Grasshoppers eating on the deep green grass,

Dusty whirlwinds as farm machinery drive past.

Bossy swishing her tail in the red barn outside,

Old pal barks in the backyard where he is tied.

Clanging of water pails being pulled from the well,

Meal time when mama rings the silver triangle bell.

Porch swing hung from chains hooked at the top,

Watching frogs leaping from lily pads with a hop.

The farmhouse that was always painted every Spring,

Helping daddy look for his precious lost wedding ring.

Fresh brewed hot coffee smells are here no more,

Trees gone with apples we sold to the grocery store.

Dead Flower beds that once were in full bloom are gone,

Robins now driven faraway taking all their sweet songs.

Bossy's red barn sold out as pieces for window panes,

Old pal was burried under what once was our own lane.

Dried up well holding water pails full of holes and rust,

Our tringle bell is bent on the ground full of dirt and dust.

Old broken chains on the rotten house porch still holds the swing,

Looking around I soon found my daddy's precious lost wedding ring.

Walking to mama and daddy's grave plot with wedding ring in hand,

Placed it where his headstone was before they took away the land.

I went back to the farm I so dearly loved but was nevermore to be.

Octopus concrete roads all over the lands as far as the eye can see,

Heart filled with pain not seeing flowers,birds,bugs and my own apple tree.

Where I will always have wonderful memories of mama,daddy and me.

Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Burning hot Sun and mudslides today,

Stop!...Think!…Care for the Earth for tomorrow children will have no place to play!!

®Elly yeagle...July 25,2005

For My Son Feb 14,2006

5 years ago today my son was taken away.he was only 13 years old and that turned my heart cold.I lost all feeling for some timeand nearly lost my mind.all sorts of things went through my headI even prayed that I was dead.I could hear him saying don't stop now you can over come this,only you know how.I will always be with youbecause our love is strong and true.I will always look over your shoulderbut it's not your time,you have to be older.you have alot to do before you goI'll be with you and somehow I'll let you know.Blessed Be

2006 Charles Knotts

Irish Witch

Merry Meet!

As always I just start talking and forget to introduce myself! Here it goes!

I lived on a ranch in Brighton Colorado until I was a teenager. This is where my love for animals and the Earth all started!

My Irish grandma lived on and off with us while I was young. She taught me a lot of Irish lore. Which later in life I found out were pagan beliefs! Grandma was very, very close to being a witch. So close in fact, lets just say she never went to church!

I searched for something for a long time and couldn't find any church that fit me. I tried hard, read all I could, but to no anvil. I questioned things that no one had an answer for.

One night I had a dream about being in a cellar of an English Castle. I was with Merlin. (Quit laughing) when he threw sand in the fire and an image appeared of a dark haired man being shot through the chest with an arrow. I ran up the stairs, running outside, stopping at the man. I looked down at his face and then an arrow shot me. That dream stayed with me for a long time. About a week later, I was working at a dealership on Saturday when this new tech showed up. He was there to apply for work; he drove all day and night from Arizona. I looked at him and could not speak. He was the man in the dream! As he was leaving I yelled, "Hey, do you know Merlin?" He raised his arm and showed me a tattoo of Merlin. We became fast friends and still are. We went into a bookstore one afternoon and fell in love with the place. The owner came out and screamed, ran over to us, and greeted us with "I knew you were coming, why did it take so long?"

That is how it all started, I am a Wiccan, Preistess, Pagan, Minister, mother, and grandmother and above all, I am me!

Mabon (The Autumn Equinox)

http://www.llewellyn.com/Mabon (pronounced MAY-bun, MAY-bone, MAH-boon or MAH-bawn) or the Autumn Equinox is one of the Lesser Wiccan Sabbats and is usually celebrated around September 23rd, though it can occur as early as the 20th, depending on the timing of the actual Astrological event. The Autumn Equinox, like the Spring Equinox divides day and night equally. However during Autumn, (as opposed to Spring, when the opposite occurs) we begin to see the waning of the Sun more obviously now as the days continue to grow shorter until the Wheel of the Year spins around again to Yule. Now, as at Ostara, the days and nights are equal once again. Gardens are in full bloom and heavy with nature's bounty. There is a slight nip in the air already and preparations begin to prepare for the long cold months, which are to come.

A time for Thanksgiving for the harvest.

Symbols that represent Mabon are:

Symbols to represent the Mabon Sabbat are such things as grapes, wine, vines, garland, gourds, pinecones, acorns, wheat, dried leaves, burial cairns, rattles, Indian corn, Sun wheels, and horns of plenty.

Grains, autumn leaves, acorns, pinecorns, a pomegranate, a figure to represent the Triple Goddess in her Mother aspect are the decorations for your altar.

Depending on when the leaves turn in your area, beautiful multi-colored leaves can be dipped in paraffin, to be used for decoration. Quickly dip the leaves in melted paraffin, and put them on wax paper. When the leaves are dry, you can put them in a huge decorative jar with a sigil of protection carved lightly on some or all of the leaves.

Altar cloths can also be made of material with fall designs

Scents are Savory, Chives, and Burdock.

The Feast consists of harvested vegetables, popcorn, grapes, wine.

Colors are deep gold, orange, deep reds, brown, russet, maroon and violet. Candle colors are orange, dark red, yellow or brown.

Stones:

Amethyst and yellow topaz, carnelian, lapis lazuli, sapphire, and yellow agate.

Animals:

Dogs, wolves and birds of prey. Mythical creatures include gnomes, minotaurs, sphinx, Cyclopes, Andaman’s and gulons.

Plants:

Vines, ivy, hazel, cedar, hops and tobacco.

Herbs:

Acorns, asters, benzoin, ferns, honeysuckle, marigold, milkweed, mums, myrrh, oak leaves, passionflower, pine, roses, sage, Solomon's seal, and thistles.

Incense:

Frankincense, aloes wood, jasmine, cinnamon, musk, cloves, benzoin, myrrh, and sage.

What a beautiful Sabbat this is! All the wonderful smells and colors!

The Deities associated with Mabon:

Wine Deities - particularly Dionysus and Bacchus, and Aging Deities. Emphasis might also be placed on the Goddess in Her aspect of the Mother (Demeter is a good example), Persephone (Queen of the Underworld and daughter of Demeter), and Thor (Lord of Thunder in Norse mythology). Some other Autumn Equinox Goddesses include Modron, Morgan, Snake Woman, Epona, Pamona, and the Muses. Some appropriate Gods besides those already mentioned are Mabon, Thoth, Hermes, and Hotei.

Spell Work:

Protection, wealth, prosperity, security and self-confidence. Energize your home at this time for balance!

Rituals:

Must include the praising and honoring of fruit as proof of the love for the Goddess and God, sprinkling of the Autumn leaves you have collected on your nature walk is wonderful!

Mabon is considered a time of the Mysteries and marks the end of the second of three Pagan Harvest Festivals, when the majority of crops have been gathered. It is considered a time of balance, a time of darkness overtaking light, a time of celebration of the Second Harvest. It is a time to honor the Aging Deities and the Spirit World. The principle key action of Mabon is giving thanks. Pagan activities may include the making of wine and the adorning of graves. A traditional practice is to walk wild places and forests, gathering seedpods and dried plants. Some of these can be used to decorate the home or altar, others saved for future herbal magick. It is considered taboo to pass burial sites and not honor the dead.

The Autumn Equinox is a wonderful time to stop and relax and be happy. While we may not have toiled the fields from sunrise to sunset every day since Lammas - as our ancestors did - most of us do work hard at what we do. At this time of year, we should stop and survey the harvest each of us has brought in over the season. For us, like our ancestors, this becomes a time of giving thanks for the success of what we have worked at.

Here are some great recipes and the Invocation of Blue Corn Girl!

Covenstead Bread

Recipe by Gerina Dunwich

3/4 cup water 1/2 cup honey 1/2 cup finely chopped citron 1/2 cup sugar 2 tablespoons anise seeds 2-1/3 cups flour 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon nutmeg 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon allspice

Bring the water to a boil in a saucepan. Add honey, citron, sugar, and anise seeds. Stir until the sugar completely dissolves and then remove from heat.

Sift together flour, baking soda, salt, and spices, and fold into the hot honey mixture. Turn the batter into a well-greased 9 X 5 X 3-inch loaf pan and bake in a preheated 350-degree oven for one hour. Turn out on a wire rack to cool. (This recipe yields one loaf of bread.)

Covenstead Bread improves if allowed to stand for a day, and it is an ideal bread to serve during Lammas and Autumn Equinox Sabbats as well as at all coven meetings.

(This "Covenstead Bread" recipe is from "The Wicca Spellbook: A Witch's Collection of Wiccan Spells, Potions and Recipes" by Gerina Dunwich, p. 169, a Citadel Press Book, Carol Publishing Group, 1994)

Salem Witch Pudding

Recipe by Gerina Dunwich

4 eggs, separated 1-1/2 cups pumpkin puree 1 cup light brown sugar 3/4 cup half-and-half 5 tablespoons rum 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/4 teaspoon salt

In an electric mixer or large mixing bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff. In a different bowl, beat the egg yolks until thick and lemon-colored. Combine the yolks with the remaining eight ingredients; mix together well; and then fold in the egg whites.

Pour the pumpkin mixture into a buttered 1-quart souffle dish. Place it in a pan of hot water and bake in a 350-degree preheated oven for about 45 minutes. (This recipe yields 6 servings.)

(This "Salem Witch Pudding" recipe is from "The Wicca Spellbook: A Witch's Collection of Wiccan Spells, Potions and Recipes" by Gerina Dunwich, p. 173, a Citadel Press Book, Carol Publishing Group, 1994)

Texas-Style Pecan Pie

Recipe by Edain McCoy

This recipe makes two pies.

2 deep-dish unbaked pie shells 6 beaten eggs 1/2 cup butter, melted (The real thing is best. If you use margarine, add 1/8 teaspoon salt to the recipe.) 2 cups brown sugar, packed 1-3/4 cups corn syrup 2-1/4 teaspoons vanilla 2-1/2 cups chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Slowly and thoroughly mix together the eggs, butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, and vanilla. Pour the mixture into the two pie shells. As this mixture will not "rise" like some pies, you can fill the shells higher than usual, but not so high that they boil over and leave a sticky, burned mess in your oven. Cover the pie with the pecans. Bake for about an hour.

(This "Texas-Style Pecan Pie" recipe is from "The Sabbats: A New Approach to Living the Old Ways" by Edain McCoy, Llewellyn Publications, 1994)

Blackberry Wine

Recipe by Edain McCoy

2 & 1/2 pounds fresh Blackberries 3 cups Sugar 2 cups Hot Water

Let the berries set out in a large bowl for about four weeks, stirring them occasionally. The berries will get a rank smell and may begin to mold.

With mortar and pestle, crush the berries into as smooth a pulp as possible. Stir in the sugar and then the water.

Pour the wine into casks to ferment for eight to ten months. The longer it is kept the better it will be. The wine will have to be aired every few days to allow building gases to escape. This wine has a gentle port-like flavor when finished.

(This 'Blackberry Wine' recipe is from "Witta: An Irish Pagan Tradition" by Edain McCoy, Llewellyn Publications, 1994)

Mabon Incense

Recipe by Scott Cunningham

2 parts Frankincense 1 part Sandalwood 1 part Cypress 1 part Juniper 1 part Pine 1/2 part Oakmoss (or a few drops Oakmoss bouquet) 1 pinch pulverized Oak leaf

Burn during Wiccan ceremonies on Mabon (the Autumnal Equinox, circa September 21st), or at that time to attune with the change of the seasons.

(This 'Mabon Incense' recipe is from "The Complete Book of Incense, Oils & Brews" by Scott Cunningham, Llewellyn Publications, 1989)

Autumn Equinox Ritual Potpourri

Recipe by Gerina Dunwich

45 drops Honeysuckle Oil 1 cup Oak Moss 6 small Acorns 2 cups dried Oak Leaves 2 cups dried Honeysuckle 1 cup dried Passionflower 1 cup dried Rosebuds and Petals 1/2 cup dried Pine Needles 1 tablespoon Sage

Mix the honeysuckle oil with the oak moss and then add the remaining ingredients. Stir the potpourri well and store in a tightly covered ceramic or glass container.

(This 'Autumn Equinox Ritual Potpourri' recipe is from "The Wicca Spellbook: A Witch's Collection of Wiccan Spells, Potions and Recipes" by Gerina Dunwich, a Citadel Press Book, Carol Publishing Group, 1994)

Invocation of Blue Corn Girl for Autumn Equinox

by Noel-Anne Brennan

(If there is more than one person present for this invocation, others can whisper "listen, she is coming" or "Blue Corn Girl is coming" at various points in the chant, as indicated by parentheses.)

Listen, She is coming, Blue Corn Girl is coming, She is coming in the winds, (Listen, she is coming) She is coming in the sunlight, (Blue Corn Girl is coming) She is coming in the fallen leaves, She is coming in the dying meadows. Listen, She is coming, Blue Corn Girl is coming, (Blue Corn Girl is coming) She is coming To see the harvest (Listen, she is coming) Of the fruits of the soil And the fruits of the soul Listen, She is coming, Blue Corn Girl is coming, Listen, She is coming. Blue Corn Girl is here. Welcome.

May the Lord and Lady bless you all with lots of prosperity, and a plentiful Second Harvest!

If you have any questions or comments, please let me know!

The Irish Witch

Proud owner of Eclectic Star Power

/groups/EclecticStarParty

Eclectic Pagan

SO WHAT IS MAGICK, ANYWAY?

Finding a definition that fits "Magick" and is applicable to every path is difficult, so bear with me as I try to explain, using the most basic understandings available to me…

Magick, as I see it, is the use of faith in oneself to affect that which is physical through the use of the extraordinary flows of energies invisible to the naked eye, and the discipline to master, through the use of any of multiple methods, a complex working that results in a manifestation of will. In other words, the fulfilment of a desire through the manipulation of natural but hidden energies.

Now, you may find that this ‘definition’ is perhaps a bit misleading – but I stand by it, justifying my use of it as applicable in the broadest sense of the words. By employing that which we term ‘Magick’, we attempt to cause something that we desire to happen to occur, using either a spoken spell (perhaps repeated, three, seven, or nine times), a burning candle, an invocation of spiritual entities, or any of a multitude of other methods.

But I say that it requires faith in oneself and ones own ability to be successful – any spell will not work if the caster does not believe it will work. If they didn’t believe it, why would they bother to try?

I would love to hear other’s opinions on this, so feel free to contact me through this online publication. If there is enough interest shown, I’ll do a Q & A on the subject…

Sticks and Stones

(this is a new feature from our friend Morgan. Hope you find it informative and enjoyable)

LAVENDER

(Lavendula officianalis/augustifolia)

Also called: Spike, Nardus, Elf Leaf, and Nard.

Sweet, floral, herbaceous scent with balsamic, woody undertones. Blends with most oils, especially citrus and florals. Universal oil that balances the body and works where there is a need.

Gender: Masculine

Planet: Mercury

Element: Air

Powers: Love, Protection, Sleep, Chastity, Longevity, Purification, Happiness, and Peace.

Character: Harmony, Calming, Healing, Caring, Compassionate, and Embracing.

Uses: Lavender has long been used in love spells and sachets. Clothing rubbed with the fragrant flowers attracts love. A piece of paper on which you've rubbed Lavender is excellent for writing love letters. The scent particularly attracts men, and Lavender water or the essential oil was worn by prostitutes several centuries ago to both advertise their profession and to attract customers. It also protects against cruel treatment at the hands of a spouse if worn. Despite Lavender's association with love, during the Renaissance period, it was believed that Lavender worn with Rosemary would preserve a woman's chastity.

The flowers are also burned or smoldered to induce sleep and rest, and are scattered about the home to maintain its peacefulness. The plant is so powerful, that if when depressed, one gazes upon the plant, all sorrow will depart and a joyous feeling will settle upon the observer.

The odor of Lavender is conducive to long life, and should be smelled as often as possible. It is also used in healing mixtures, carried to see ghosts, and worn to protect against the "evil eye". Add it to purification baths.

Personality: Able to care for a multitude of psychological and physical problems. Mothering, electric, formidable, yet gentle and kind. Direct, brave, humble, always ready to listen. Bravely overcomes obstacles placed in their way. Able to give generously of themselves - caring for others. First to come to the rescue in times of trouble. Seems to have an inexhaustible amount of energy to call upon.

A Wish Divination: Place Lavender under your pillow while thinking of your wish. Do this just prior to retiring for the night. In the morning, if you have dreamt of anything relating to your wish, it will come true. However, if you did not dream, or the dream was not connected to your wish, it will not manifest.

LEPIDOLITE - A Stone of Transition

A really good recovery stone for people going thru changes, and A Fourth Step Stone

Color: pink to lilac

Metaphysical

Alleviates stress and despondency. Helps one during periods of transition. Brings to awareness old patterns and needed changes, while assisting the user through the transitions with optimism. Allows for smooth change. Promotes self-preservation.

I think Lepidolite is a great 4th step stone. It can assist you in being honest and open, and in addition, it will help further the ability of the people around you to be honest and open. A wonderful friendship stone! Lepidolite is a lively energy that is like a breath of fresh energized air. It helps calm and balance the emotions and mind.

It helps one to change from the old patterns to new and is especially useful for addictions. Lepididolite helps one to "let go." Gives one energy to shed the old skin and be reborn to a higher realm.

Promotes spiritual transcendence, cosmic awareness, emotional balance, meditation, prayer and goodness.

Lifts depression and lower thought forms, helping us to accept that where we are exactly where we are supposed to be at this moment.

Promotes honesty and openness.

Used to locate energy blockages.

Is considered helpful for insomniacs. Anti nightmare stone.

Gardening activities and agriculture.

Good for astral travel.

Physical:

Heals sore muscles and fatigue, Stress, Wrinkles, Tight muscles, Nerves.

3rd and 6th Chakra

Hardness : 2.5 - 4Vibrates to the number 8

Lightchaser’s Story

(this is also a new feature. Lightchaser is an adoptee, and her story will inspire anyone in her situation.)

In Search of my Family

By

Lightchaser

For the first time in my life, I felt love from this person. For the first time in my life, I felt a connection to her. For the first time in my life, I felt I could seek her out and search for her, without any fear of rejection; or at least not, the fear I had for most of my life. I never wanted to find my birth mother, I had a mother. She has always been a great, loving, and supportive mother. It was a father I longed for, most of my life, (and still do) as my a-parents divorced when I was five years old. I saw my a-father once, from age 5 to 17years old. He wanted me to come to Florida and spend the summer with him, from Arizona to Florida. It was a fun summer for sure, but I never felt the deep love I had always fantasized about between a father and daughter.

My mother remarried when I was 12 and he adopted me also for his name, but was never really a dad to me. However through all that I had a mother who loved me and still does very much. So I was never really in need of a mother, my search became more to find my father, somehow.

Last all I was in a life coaching class, and my homework one week, was to join at least 2 online adoption groups, any one, my choice. Well the first one that came up was called Finding in Florida, which I found quite ironic as I was born in Florida. I also found 2 more, and joined one of them. When my life coach found out I was adopted, she said to me..no wonder you have come to me. .I had wanted to with her for that purpose, but it came up as a big part of my life, just beneath the surface. And as I told her I didn’t really care if I found my b-mother, I wanted to find my b-father….and in some work with her, I have recently found my core fear as we all have one, was rejection. So when she said to me "do you know why you don’t want to find your b-mother", it hit so strong with tears and I said yes…so she won’t reject me again…whew. Then she said I want to take you inside your mother’s womb, and I was thinking how on earth to do that. She said just close your eyes and go there… so I did..and the tears started flowing..for I allowed myself to be present in that time. And for the first time I felt love from this person. This 16 year old girl, who was pregnant in 1957, and was she forced or pushed to give up, probably, that was a hard time for a young pregnant girl. What were her feelings about it all, with this baby growing inside of her…..Now I want to find her!!!

My story goes like this…

I was born in Florida, and was adopted at 3 days old. My a-parents saw me at 3 hours old. My a- parents always told me I was adopted for as long as I can remember. My mom would tell me this all time favorite story as I was growing up, that she went into a big room full of babies and picked me out of all of them. My grandmother always told her she love me more than her other daughters love their b-children. I find my story interesting sometimes, when I think about it. as the nurse of the Dr. who delivered me was my a- father’s sister. She saw my b-mother, but when I was 18 and with my a-mother, I asked her if she would help me in my search, and she said flatly NO "you don’t need to know anything". Well that surprised all of us, even my mom. The Dr. was my a-mother’s OBGYN, as she had a complete hysterectomy, a year earlier and he knew how badly she wanted a baby. He would often help his young pregnant patients find homes for their babies. So he told my a-mother that she would be next, in line for the next baby coming up for adoption, which was me.

As I said, my a-mother always told me I was adopted, but there are some questions that she doesn’t have answers for, such as these. Who paid for the medical bills of my b-mother, did my a-parents? Who was the lawyer involved? When and where did my b-mother sign papers to release me to adoption? Where were parents, she was only 16? Where are the papers she signed, where did they go? What was her address? Where on earth were her parents in all this? Where was my b-father in all of this? Did he even know about her being pregnant? What was his involvement if any, during the pregnancy? And of course there are many more questions. I have 3 of my own children and my oldest son who is 19, does not look like my husband’s family, he looks like me, and he wants to know who he looks like, who is family is.

Florida is one of the hardest states to find any information about your adoption, as the records are still sealed. Especially from the 40s 50s 60s and even 70s. The Finding in Florida group, is wonderful group of supportive people, who have been where you are. They either have given up their child for adoption in Florida, or were a child born and given up for adoption in Florida. You can have support from your family and friends, but there is nothing like the support of a group of people who have been through exactly what you are going through or have not gone through yet, in your search. There are people called Soft Shoulder Angels who will offer their time and help you with footwork, as they may live in or around your birth town. In this group you can talk about your fears, your hopes, your concerns. They share, they respond, they help and offer advice, good advice.

I will offer more suggestions and more about my journey next month. I mention all of this as I have had so many questions to come up with myself and some friends, this was to set a background for me and my story. I hope it may help some who are in search of or considering a search for your birth family also. There are some tools that I will share with you, that could really help your search. They came to me by meeting people, who have gone through all this. Things and people come to us when we are ready, and they have so much with me this last year. Please feel free to email me here

inlightofcj.

The websites I talked for Florida, are here. Many states have groups also to help you in your search, and this one is not just for Florida people, it is for anyone.

www.lfindinginflorida.org www.geocities.com/kat6406/FloridaSearchAngels.html www.findinginflorida.org/shoulder.htm The International Soundex Reunioin Registry is the world’s largest and most successful mutual consent reunion registry and is a free service. This is a wonderful site to get started with, in your search.

www.isrr.net/

Short Fiction

(this month’s selection is also from our friend Lynn, who was last month’s contributor. We enjoy her stories very much, and hope that you do too…)

NOTHING BUT A KISS

by

Lynn Walker

Taker's Deliverance was on a mission. It slid into orbit around the lovely M-type planet to run tests and scans. The leader of these brave men was not pleased with the results.

"Damn it! It's in habited!" roared Capt. Leo Sorensen and slammed his fist against the console.

The deck crew remained silent knowing any word from them would get someone hurt by those massive hands.

"Get Greerson up here!"

Minutes later the ET officer appeared.

"It's inhabited. Go down and find out what we're up against," Sorensen ordered.

"And if they don't want to be wiped out?" Greerson asked.

The captain's hands were balled fists when he snarled, "I don't want your bleeding heart crap that ETs have a right to their lives and worlds. Earth needs that planet and we're going to take it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly," Greerson replied, and left for the ferrybug.

He scanned the planet on the way down from the ship and hated his assignment. The thought of destroying any race for the survival of his own sickened him. Perhaps he would be able to work out a compromise and decided that it wouldn't work, the human race would destroy the aliens. He shook his head, the human capacity for violence never ceased to amaze him.

Greerson checked the scanner to make sure the ferrybug wouldn't harm anything on touchdown. Several aliens were waiting a respectful distance away. Then glancing at the atmosphere monitor from habit he cracked the hatch, muttering, "Here goes nothing."

For several moments he and the aliens who resembled humans stared at each other without a word until an old man with a firm step step approached him and said, "I am Malin. We welcome you to our world, Roland Greerson."

The Terran took a step back from the mild mannered alien. "Thank you. How do you know my name?"

"You must follow this road to your answers."

He hesitated unsure of their intentions.

"Please, we mean you no harm," Malin urged gently, pointing north.

Greerson nodded and walked off in the direction that he indicated. He met many people on the way but all they would say was that he should follow the road to his answers.

Tyana ordered that the human be treated courteously and sent to her palace. She watched Greerson from a window and sensed his uneasiness hidden beneath the determined bravado. He finally marched up to the palace entrance at the end of the road despite his fatigue. Tyana opened the carved ornate doors, they gazed at one another, enemies wishing to be friends. She extended a slender tapered hand, "Welcome, Roland, to my world. I am Tyana, leader of these people."

He took it barely able to suppress his astonishment, "Tyana."

She laughed, "You have come from another star and all you can say is my name. Come, I'll ease the weariness of your journey."

"You're telepathic, aren't you?" he asked.

"That and more," she replied enigmatically. Tyana led him to the communal baths which had been emptied of her people to give them privacy. The baths were designed in a stone cloverleaf. Roland was taken to a section filled a warm, foaming and musk scented water.

"Disrobe and relax yourself in the bath, Roland," she said.

"I . . . uh . . ." he stammered.

"It's the custom of my people that guests be bathed by the lady of the house. Would you deny me my duty,

Roland?"

He shook his head and she began to undo his flight suit. A short time later Greerson was in the water and Tyana slipped off her gown to join him.

"You have come to my world as a conqueror." She looked up, "Those above in the ship want our world for their own. I cannot, for the sake of my people, permit it." Tyana's words, softly spoken, seemed out of place while she soaped and sponged his back. She rinsed his skin and began to gently massage his tense shoulders. Despite his apprehension Greerson started to relax beneath her deft nimble fingers. When he said nothing to deny the charge, she asked, "What will you do?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"I know. I don't wish to harm anyone," she said.

"Why aren't you in space? You have the intelligence and resources."

"We have no need to go to the glitter in the sky, Roland. There is our world, ourselves, our beauty. And unlike your kind, we have never known war or a world of too many of us," she replied and gently stroked his thick black hair.

"I think it's time I leave here," he said, standing abruptly.

She took a large heavy towel from a nearby stand and briskly rubbed him down when he stepped from the pooled. Greerson wanted to understand her and he desperately tried to find a compromise.

"We won't share our world with you, humans are destroyers," she said and gave him another towel. "Now, you must dry me, it's the custom." He carefully patted Tyana as the provocative beauty of her naked body distracted him. "You are afraid of us. We appear helpless and yet you feel threatened."

"How will you stop us?" he asked.

She gave him his flight clothes that had been cleaned while they bathed and donned another gown, saying, "We have our ways, Roland. I have had a meal prepared for you."

He gazed into her gentle gray eyes for a hidden threat only to find amusement at his distrust. And thought a man could lose himself in those tender pools. Aloud, he asked, "A meal? You've thought of everything, haven't you?"

She smiled and led him to a small dining room at the end of a long corridor. As with the baths the rest of the building appeared to be made of fused sandstone with ornate trefoil decorations here and there. A meal of several kinds of cheese and fruit had been laid out with a large loaf of dark bread. A chilled pitcher held sparkling ale and the table had been set for two.

"Please, join me, Roland," she said and poured the ale.

"To the condemned man a hearty meal," he said sharply.

Tyana arched a delicate brow at his tone. "Not at all. You aren't condemned, Roland." Pausing, she went on, "Nor the others on the ship. What would happen if your ship did not return?"

"Nine ships went out to nine possible worlds. If we don't return, none will come here again."

"Ever?"

"Ever. Well, at least my last meal is a delicious one."

"Roland, it's not your last meal. Tell me, if you ask the crew to come down, would they?"

"So you could slaughter us together?"

"No!"

They finished the meal in silence. Tyana went to the window to gaze up at the spot where the ship hung in orbit. She was beautiful, maybe too much so, and he wondered if she alien in human guise. He joined her. It was mid afternoon and some of her people were harvesting an unknown crop in a nearby field. He asked, "Now what?"

She peered at him lost in thought for awhile, then softly repeated, "Now what? Nothing, Roland, nothing but a kiss."

Tyana stood on tiptoe to touch his lips with hers and caught Greerson by surprise. It was not a chaste peck but a deep soul searching act that stripped him bare of facades, pettiness, and cruelty. In their place, his goodness, compassion, and understanding had been amplified. He was linked mentally to her people and all at once everything became clear and tranquil. Roland had never known such peace. He had come home, Earth and the ship with its angry bully of a captain didn't exist . . .

"Tyana, I . . ." he began, trying to verbalize his feelings when she released him.

She placed a slim finger to his lips. "I know, Roland. What will you do?"

He gently held her and placed his cheek beside Tyana's. "I can't let them destroy what you have, it's too precious. There are six more on the ship, could they be absorbed by our people?" He feared what Soresen would do to this gentle world.

"All but the captain. I think he would go mad, hatred and violence fill his entire being. But they must come to us," she replied.

"I'll get them down here . . . somehow. Tyana . . ."

She said nothing but kissed him again. It settled all matters and reinforced the oneness he felt. When Tyana let him go, she said, "Now you belong to us."

"I'll come back with the others."

"And I'll walk you back to the ferrybug."

He took her hand, "Tyana, that's not necessary."

"True, but I wish to do this for you, Roland."

The walk to the ferrybug seemed far shorter than his trip to Tyana's home. He sensed a subtle change in the people, they were no longer being polite to a stranger but rejoicing with one of their own. The thought that kept running through his mind was that it was too bad humans had never learned this unified sense of belonging. He had to come back no matter what the others decided.

At the ferrybug Tyana kissed him again. No words of love were needed, he knew she was his, that she would wait. Greerson broke the silence, "When I return will show me how to do that?"

Smiling, she looked into his dark somber eyes. "Yes."

"I don't want to leave . . ."

She touched his lips with her finger tips, a promise of things to come. "Go to them, Roland."

He entered the ferrybug to reluctantly set course for the ship and watched her dwindling figure through the port window. How would he convince the others that they couldn't annihilate these gentle people for the needs of a jaded Earth? Sorenson had been furious when life was discovered here. He was trained and well practiced killer. Death meant nothing to him and he would kill Tyana and her people while justifying every murder. Greerson had to find a way to stop him.

The instant Greerson entered the flight deck, Sorenson roared, "Where the hell have you been? Why didn't you contact us?"

"I've been getting to know the locals, Captain. I didn't feel radio contact was necessary," he answered.

"Well, what are they like? Can we take them?"

"It's a highly evolved society, sir."

"Highly evolved," Soresen snickered. "Where are their armies? Why aren't they space borne?"

"They have no need for either."

"Smitty, arm the kill-life torps," Sorensen ordered.

"Wait! Captain, go meet them, please!" Greerson pleaded.

"Smitty, you heard me. If you open your bleeding heart mouth again, Greerson, I'll have you executed right here for mutiny. We are taking this planet!"

Greerson remained silent and watched them prepare to seed the planet's atmosphere with the kill-life torps. He edged toward the switch Sorensen had insisted everyone know where and how to use, even the lowly ET officer for whom he had nothing but contempt. Greerson pulled the switch just as Sorensen realized his intentions.

"Grab him!" shrilled the captain but it was too late.

The Taker's Deliverance blew up as Sorensen strained to hear Greerson's last words, "Nothing but a kiss."

On the placid world below Tyana shed a tear of sorrow as she and her people dropped the human disguise. A soft breeze rippled through the insect's cilia as she said, "They will trouble us no more."

Tyana returned to the palace with her attendants. They would see to her wants and needs until her young were born. Offspring which would share Greerson's genetic code with all the other would be conquerors of her world.

.......................End.........................

Well, friends, that’s it for this issue of PPR. Please feel free to at paganpoetsreview if this has been forwarded to you. There are no daily group emails, just the newsletter once a month. And tell your friends!! Contributions are very welcome. Questions for our columnists, or comments about what you’ve read, may be addressed to autolykos63 Have a great month, and a Happy Autumn Equinox.

See you in October!!!

Your editor,

Wolfie

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