Help with working a 12 step program

[Guest guest]

I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

I have had many friends involved with Al Anon and Narc Anon and don't

agree with their methods at all. Remember, this is just my opinion, if

it works for you that's great. Anytime you tell someone over and over

and tell them to repeat to themselves over and over that they will

always be an addict, you can be sure of one thing - they will always be

an addict! Why they program people this way makes no sense to me. If

they got the people with addictions to tell themselves over and

over, " I can beat this addiction - I don't need this to feel good " then

they would be taking a step in the right direction. I have one friend

who hasn't used drugs in over 20 years, but because of Narc Anon he

beleives he is still a drug addict. I tell him " just forgive yourself

and get over it " .

If you are attracted to people with addictions, and suffering from

depression, it may be you need some type of psychological treatment,

and sitting in a circle with other people saying how screwed up you are

isn't going to to do you much good.

Good Luck!.

 

 

, " remindersofthen "

<remindersofthen wrote:

>

> I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

> breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

> men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

> depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

> co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

> Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

 

I have found that Aventurine is quite helpful for restoration of the heart

chakra both personally and with a number of clients. SAMe is also a great

anti-aging anti-depressant if you want to avoid synthetic drugs, or boost their

effectiveness.

 

matt

 

 

Wherever the mind wanders, restless and diffuse in

its search for satisfaction without, lead it within; train it to rest in the

Self.

 

-Bhagavad Gita 6:26

Matthew M. Curtin Managing Director www.icupartners.com www.icuhealthy.com

717-644-7514

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

Check outnew cars at Autos.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I suggest you learn to use EFT or better yet visit a practitioner of

EFT at least once to get the hang of it. You can teach yourself

though to a certain extent: www.emofree.com has a free manual and also

an informative video. This will likely solve your problem and is the

best thing I've found for depression. Talk therapy is just that,

TALK! EFT gets results in as little as a few minutes. There are lots

of posts about depression on the website.

 

Sharon

 

, " remindersofthen "

<remindersofthen wrote:

>

> I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

> breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

> men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

> depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

> co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

> Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

As far as things that I would take internally, I need to know if it is safe to

take while I am pregnant.

Thank you all so much for your help! Let me assure you that I am not looking

for anything to replace my work with Al Anon, but just something to help me a

little along the way.

Thanks again!

 

" Matthew M. Curtin " <integrative_doc wrote:

Hi,

 

I have found that Aventurine is quite helpful for restoration of the heart

chakra both personally and with a number of clients. SAMe is also a great

anti-aging anti-depressant if you want to avoid synthetic drugs, or boost their

effectiveness.

 

matt

 

Wherever the mind wanders, restless and diffuse in its search for satisfaction

without, lead it within; train it to rest in the Self.

 

-Bhagavad Gita 6:26

Matthew M. Curtin Managing Director www.icupartners.com www.icuhealthy.com

717-644-7514

 

 

Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell?

Check outnew cars at Autos.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I found a program on the internet - " Jude Thaddeus " which has a much higher

success rate, than any 12 step program. You can download it and do it at

home, or go to an in-house version of it. The young lady that I got it for is

excited and doing great on it. She could not handle AA programs.

Margi

 

-

M. Richmond

Monday, May 07, 2007 1:02 PM

Re: Help with working a 12 step program

 

 

 

I have had many friends involved with Al Anon and Narc Anon and don't

agree with their methods at all. Remember, this is just my opinion, if

it works for you that's great. Anytime you tell someone over and over

and tell them to repeat to themselves over and over that they will

always be an addict, you can be sure of one thing - they will always be

an addict! Why they program people this way makes no sense to me. If

they got the people with addictions to tell themselves over and

over, " I can beat this addiction - I don't need this to feel good " then

they would be taking a step in the right direction. I have one friend

who hasn't used drugs in over 20 years, but because of Narc Anon he

beleives he is still a drug addict. I tell him " just forgive yourself

and get over it " .

If you are attracted to people with addictions, and suffering from

depression, it may be you need some type of psychological treatment,

and sitting in a circle with other people saying how screwed up you are

isn't going to to do you much good.

Good Luck!.

 

, " remindersofthen "

<remindersofthen wrote:

>

> I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

> breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

> men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

> depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

> co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

> Thanks.

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

What a coincidence:

 

I'm going to an EFT class tomorrow evening, and this will be my first

exposure to it.

It's $5 for a one hour class. They say it helps dispel bad memories,

cravings, etc.

 

That sounds good for a co-dependant type personality. Well really, it sounds

good for anyone!

~Leese

 

 

 

_____

 

 

On Behalf Of Sharon

Monday, May 07, 2007 4:15 PM

 

Re: Help with working a 12 step program

 

 

 

I suggest you learn to use EFT or better yet visit a practitioner of

EFT at least once to get the hang of it. You can teach yourself

though to a certain extent: www.emofree.com has a free manual and also

an informative video. This will likely solve your problem and is the

best thing I've found for depression. Talk therapy is just that,

TALK! EFT gets results in as little as a few minutes. There are lots

of posts about depression on the website.

 

Sharon

 

@ <%40>

, " remindersofthen "

<remindersofthen wrote:

>

> I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

> breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

> men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

> depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

> co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

> Thanks.

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I tried some Al-Anon type groups when I was in my early twenties.

 

All it seemed to do was make me miss work the next day due to a terrible

weight of depression that I felt from listening to the stories of the other

people.

 

I think I agree with you Mr. Richmond. People need to focus on the results

they want and think positively rather than wallow in misery and negativity.

 

 

~Leese

 

 

 

_____

 

 

On Behalf Of M. Richmond

Monday, May 07, 2007 1:02 PM

 

Re: Help with working a 12 step program

 

 

 

 

I have had many friends involved with Al Anon and Narc Anon and don't

agree with their methods at all. Remember, this is just my opinion, if

it works for you that's great. Anytime you tell someone over and over

and tell them to repeat to themselves over and over that they will

always be an addict, you can be sure of one thing - they will always be

an addict! Why they program people this way makes no sense to me. If

they got the people with addictions to tell themselves over and

over, " I can beat this addiction - I don't need this to feel good " then

they would be taking a step in the right direction. I have one friend

who hasn't used drugs in over 20 years, but because of Narc Anon he

beleives he is still a drug addict. I tell him " just forgive yourself

and get over it " .

If you are attracted to people with addictions, and suffering from

depression, it may be you need some type of psychological treatment,

and sitting in a circle with other people saying how screwed up you are

isn't going to to do you much good.

Good Luck!.

 

@ <%40>

, " remindersofthen "

<remindersofthen wrote:

>

> I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a bad

> breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and addictive

> men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome my

> depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues with

> co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other suggestions?

> Thanks.

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Just out of curiousity, do you happen to have the link that you are

talking about regarding the Jude Thaddeus program... I am not

involved with Alcohol, but have a husband who is (and still will not

admit he has a problem.) I would really appreciate any help in trying

to deal with it, and know how to handle it, if it's even possible.

 

Anyway, I would appreciate the link if you happen to have it. I could

not find it by doing a search. So maybe I wasn't doing it right.

 

Health and blessings

Gail

, " Margi " <Margi wrote:

>

> I found a program on the internet - " Jude Thaddeus " which has a

much higher success rate, than any 12 step program. You can

download it and do it at home, or go to an in-house version of it.

The young lady that I got it for is excited and doing great on it.

She could not handle AA programs.

> Margi

>

> -

> M. Richmond

>

> Monday, May 07, 2007 1:02 PM

> Re: Help with working a 12 step

program

>

>

>

> I have had many friends involved with Al Anon and Narc Anon and

don't

> agree with their methods at all. Remember, this is just my

opinion, if

> it works for you that's great. Anytime you tell someone over and

over

> and tell them to repeat to themselves over and over that they

will

> always be an addict, you can be sure of one thing - they will

always be

> an addict! Why they program people this way makes no sense to me.

If

> they got the people with addictions to tell themselves over and

> over, " I can beat this addiction - I don't need this to feel

good " then

> they would be taking a step in the right direction. I have one

friend

> who hasn't used drugs in over 20 years, but because of Narc Anon

he

> beleives he is still a drug addict. I tell him " just forgive

yourself

> and get over it " .

> If you are attracted to people with addictions, and suffering

from

> depression, it may be you need some type of psychological

treatment,

> and sitting in a circle with other people saying how screwed up

you are

> isn't going to to do you much good.

> Good Luck!.

>

> , " remindersofthen "

> <remindersofthen@> wrote:

> >

> > I am currently working through the 12 steps of Al Anon after a

bad

> > breakup with an alcoholic. I am very depressed right now and

> > recognizing a pattern of getting involved with abusive and

addictive

> > men. Can anyone suggest anything that will help me to overcome

my

> > depression and guide me in my journey of addressing my issues

with

> > co-dependency? Earlier today I read a post about crystals and

> > heartbreak, which was very helpful. Are there any other

suggestions?

> > Thanks.

>

[Guest guest]

12 step programs, like everything else in this world, are not for everyone.

However millions of people have found serenity, peace and a new life with the

help of these programs. Addiction is a disease. You would never tell a person

with cancer to " forgive yourself and get over it " as has been suggested on this

site. The science of addiction proves this is a genetic disorder that can be

treated, although not cured. If a person has had prolonged exposure to an

addicted person, their lives have been effected possibly alerted forever. 12

step programs like Al-anon and Nar-anon slowly show how to put the focus on

yourself. To find peace, to learn about your real inner-self and heal the

devastating effects of living with, or being raised by, an alcoholic or drug

addict. It's not a bitch session. It's a healing session. It's a self-discovery

session. It's a coping method that can change your life, your self-esteem, your

prospective, your family and children's future and help

you find peace and contentment.

If your addicted to anything, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, sex,

co-dependency - whatever - seek help through 12 step programs or anywhere else

that will help you deal with your disease. But - if you are the friend or

family of the addict.. you need help too. Weather the addict finds help or not

- you need help. Try a 12 step meeting geared, not for the addict, but for the

person living with, and dealing with, or raised by the addict.- try 6. If it

doesn't help you.... they will gladly refund your misery. They promise.

 

 

 

Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join 's user panel and

lay it on us.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Wow. Thanks. Its been a long time since I posted that. Since I did I have

started attending Al-Anon meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics. I have

found it very helpful. I am currently working on my family of origin work as a

way of starting my 4th step.

Thanks!

 

 

 

Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with

FareChase.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Tell yourself over and over that you are an addict and will never get

better or you are screwed up from living with an addict, and you can be

guaranteed you will be right.

It's called brainwashing.

Misery loves company and you will find it at any 12 step meeting.

 

 

 

> If your addicted to anything, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, sex,

co-dependency - whatever - seek help through 12 step programs or

anywhere else that will help you deal with your disease. But - if you

are the friend or family of the addict.. you need help too. Weather

the addict finds help or not - you need help.

[Guest guest]

I'm going to have to disagree. The twelve step

program I am participating in does not tell me over

and over that I have a problem, but it does help me to

recognise unhealthy patterns that are repeating in my

life and helps me understand different ways to react

to situations that will result in healthier behaviors

than my previous reactions would have. Every action

has a reaction and through Al Anon I have learned to

identify some of my actions which have negative

reactions. I feel like changing those actions has

made a positive impact on my life already.

If you go into Al Anon, or any twelve step meeting,

simply with the intention of complaining, then I can

see how you would not get much out of it, and your

point would be very valid for a person who goes to

meetings with that intent. If you actually go with

the intention of working a program, learning and

growing as a person, the results are very different.

No twelve step program claims it works if you show up

and feel sorry for yourself. They claim they work if

you work it.

And its hard work.

 

 

 

______________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

I am in agreement. I will take it even further to say that many

addicts quite simply lack self confidence. They are told by someone

within society that they are an addict and seek out these programs to

find a way to belong. Thus creating the illusion.

 

, " M. Richmond "

<rollouts wrote:

>

> Tell yourself over and over that you are an addict and will never

get

> better or you are screwed up from living with an addict, and you

can be

> guaranteed you will be right.

> It's called brainwashing.

> Misery loves company and you will find it at any 12 step meeting.

>

>

>

> > If your addicted to anything, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food,

sex,

> co-dependency - whatever - seek help through 12 step programs or

> anywhere else that will help you deal with your disease. But - if

you

> are the friend or family of the addict.. you need help too.

Weather

> the addict finds help or not - you need help.

>

[Guest guest]

I go to Al Anon because my ex boyfriend, the biological father of the baby I am

pregnant with, is an alcoholic. If society tells him that he is an addict, it

was with good cause. When you have seen a man drink a pint of cheap vodka a

day, maybe you would understand. When you watch a man routinelly pass out so

drunk he cannot wake to go to the bathroom, and istead urinate, deficate or

vomit on himself, maybe you would understand. When you find yourself diapering

a grown man to keep him from once again urinating on your bed, and making sure

he sleeps on his side so that he doesn't drown in his own vomit, or literally

dragging him home from where he passed out in a snow drift, you might start to

think that addiction is something more than something society tells you you

have. Especially when you find yourself confronting these behaviors on a daily

basis. The man had a serious problem, and I dare say that people who think that

addiction is just something society tells

people they have has never actually witnessed addiction.

I go to Al Anon learn and recognise my behavioral patterns that lead me into

relationships with addicts, so that I hopefully will never bring another addict

into my child's life. I go to Al Anon to be reminded that the Alcoholic's

addiction is not my fault, nor is it my responsibility. I go to Al Anon to help

me heal emotionally from the abuse I suffered at the hands of my alcoholic. I

do not think that many people on this forum even know what Al Anon is. Al Anon

is not AA. Al Anon is a support group for the loved ones of Alcoholics. My ex

does not go to AA. He does not have a job. He does not, for all I know, even

have a home anymore, since I stopped providing one for him. He does not do

anything but drink. When drinking becomes more important to you than putting

food in your mouth and a roof over your head, that is an addiction. I don't

care what society says.

 

 

 

Sick sense of humor? Visit TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on,

when.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I understand completely. My father and my grandfather were both

alcoholics. Sometimes society is right. I don't drink and cannot have

anyone around me that does a lot of drinking. I remember having to go

to the corner bar and beg my father to come home. I remember him coming

home from work, drunk on his a--- and passing out on the couch. It is

no fun for the wife or the kids. Luckily he realized his problem and

quit drinking. As an adult and mother of two grown boys I can look back

at my childhood and see that it wasn't my fault. Back then I had no

idea that there was help for the family members of alcoholics. You are

right in going to Al Anon. I hope your life is long and filled with love.

 

Blessed Be,

Silver Orb Spinner

 

Jessika Stone wrote:

>

> I go to Al Anon because my ex boyfriend, the biological father of the

> baby I am pregnant with, is an alcoholic. If society tells him that he

> is an addict, it was with good cause. When you have seen a man drink a

> pint of cheap vodka a day, maybe you would understand. When you watch

> a man routinelly pass out so drunk he cannot wake to go to the

> bathroom, and istead urinate, deficate or vomit on himself, maybe you

> would understand. When you find yourself diapering a grown man to keep

> him from once again urinating on your bed, and making sure he sleeps

> on his side so that he doesn't drown in his own vomit, or literally

> dragging him home from where he passed out in a snow drift, you might

> start to think that addiction is something more than something society

> tells you you have. Especially when you find yourself confronting

> these behaviors on a daily basis. The man had a serious problem, and I

> dare say that people who think that addiction is just something

> society tells

> people they have has never actually witnessed addiction.

> I go to Al Anon learn and recognise my behavioral patterns that lead

> me into relationships with addicts, so that I hopefully will never

> bring another addict into my child's life. I go to Al Anon to be

> reminded that the Alcoholic's addiction is not my fault, nor is it my

> responsibility. I go to Al Anon to help me heal emotionally from the

> abuse I suffered at the hands of my alcoholic. I do not think that

> many people on this forum even know what Al Anon is. Al Anon is not

> AA. Al Anon is a support group for the loved ones of Alcoholics. My ex

> does not go to AA. He does not have a job. He does not, for all I

> know, even have a home anymore, since I stopped providing one for him.

> He does not do anything but drink. When drinking becomes more

> important to you than putting food in your mouth and a roof over your

> head, that is an addiction. I don't care what society says.

>

>

> Sick sense of humor? Visit TV's Comedy with an Edge to see

> what's on, when.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amen!

 

Well said and from the heart.

 

Been there and done that. My 19yr old son does not

have his father in his life for the same reasons you

mentioned. He is better off than to have to go through

life with a parent who can't even take care on himself

let alone support, love and caring for his son. You

keep going and doing what you have to do to heal. Life

is too short to worry about someone elses opinion

which doesn't really matter anyway. It's what you need

to do to heal that is what's important and the

well-being of your child.

 

Good Luck and Blessed Be

Jenny Kernan

 

--- Jessika Stone <remindersofthen wrote:

 

> I go to Al Anon because my ex boyfriend, the

> biological father of the baby I am pregnant with, is

> an alcoholic. If society tells him that he is an

> addict, it was with good cause. When you have seen

> a man drink a pint of cheap vodka a day, maybe you

> would understand. When you watch a man routinelly

> pass out so drunk he cannot wake to go to the

> bathroom, and istead urinate, deficate or vomit on

> himself, maybe you would understand. When you find

> yourself diapering a grown man to keep him from once

> again urinating on your bed, and making sure he

> sleeps on his side so that he doesn't drown in his

> own vomit, or literally dragging him home from where

> he passed out in a snow drift, you might start to

> think that addiction is something more than

> something society tells you you have. Especially

> when you find yourself confronting these behaviors

> on a daily basis. The man had a serious problem,

> and I dare say that people who think that addiction

> is just something society tells

> people they have has never actually witnessed

> addiction.

> I go to Al Anon learn and recognise my behavioral

> patterns that lead me into relationships with

> addicts, so that I hopefully will never bring

> another addict into my child's life. I go to Al

> Anon to be reminded that the Alcoholic's addiction

> is not my fault, nor is it my responsibility. I go

> to Al Anon to help me heal emotionally from the

> abuse I suffered at the hands of my alcoholic. I do

> not think that many people on this forum even know

> what Al Anon is. Al Anon is not AA. Al Anon is a

> support group for the loved ones of Alcoholics. My

> ex does not go to AA. He does not have a job. He

> does not, for all I know, even have a home anymore,

> since I stopped providing one for him. He does not

> do anything but drink. When drinking becomes more

> important to you than putting food in your mouth and

> a roof over your head, that is an addiction. I

> don't care what society says.

>

>

>

> Sick sense of humor? Visit TV's Comedy with

> an Edge to see what's on, when.

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jessika,

 

You are doing what you need to do to be healthy.

 

Best wishes to you and the baby, and prayers to your ex.

 

 

 

Health & Happiness To You,

~Leese

 

_____

 

 

On Behalf Of Jessika Stone

Wednesday, August 22, 2007 10:48 AM

 

Re: Help with working a 12 step program

 

 

 

I go to Al Anon because my ex boyfriend, the biological father of the baby I

am pregnant with, is an alcoholic. If society tells him that he is an

addict, it was with good cause. When you have seen a man drink a pint of

cheap vodka a day, maybe you would understand. When you watch a man

routinelly pass out so drunk he cannot wake to go to the bathroom, and

istead urinate, deficate or vomit on himself, maybe you would understand.

When you find yourself diapering a grown man to keep him from once again

urinating on your bed, and making sure he sleeps on his side so that he

doesn't drown in his own vomit, or literally dragging him home from where he

passed out in a snow drift, you might start to think that addiction is

something more than something society tells you you have. Especially when

you find yourself confronting these behaviors on a daily basis. The man had

a serious problem, and I dare say that people who think that addiction is

just something society tell people they have has never actually witnessed

addiction.

I go to Al Anon learn and recognise my behavioral patterns that lead me into

relationships with addicts, so that I hopefully will never bring another

addict into my child's life. I go to Al Anon to be reminded that the

Alcoholic's addiction is not my fault, nor is it my responsibility. I go to

Al Anon to help me heal emotionally from the abuse I suffered at the hands

of my alcoholic. I do not think that many people on this forum even know

what Al Anon is. Al Anon is not AA. Al Anon is a support group for the loved

ones of Alcoholics. My ex does not go to AA. He does not have a job. He does

not, for all I know, even have a home anymore, since I stopped providing one

for him. He does not do anything but drink. When drinking becomes more

important to you than putting food in your mouth and a roof over your head,

that is an addiction. I don't care what society says.

 

 

Sick sense of humor? Visit TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on,

when.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I have been in ALANON for over 20 years. Our most

important principle is to keep the focus on ourselves

and our recovery. Ramblin on about the alcoholic in

your life keeps you focused on staying in his

sickness.

[Guest guest]

-I agree with you on that! If we discuss alcoholism, we energize

alcoholism! If we discuss sobriety, we energize sobriety!-- In

, Joey Doey <twosteprav wrote:

>

> I have been in ALANON for over 20 years. Our most

> important principle is to keep the focus on ourselves

> and our recovery. Ramblin on about the alcoholic in

> your life keeps you focused on staying in his

> sickness.

>

[Guest guest]

You're right. I need to not let myself get upset at people who say addiction

doesn't exist. I know better, I've seen it, and I have nothing to prove to

these people.

Thanks for the reminder.

 

 

 

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