Holiday Stress Relief

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Holiday Stress Relief

Get Real, Get Involved, Stay Healthy

By Jeanie Lerche Davis

WebMD Feature Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson, MD

on Thursday, October 23, 2003

 

webfidylmd.com/content/article/57/65948.htm?

z=1728_00000_1000_sl_03

 

Do you get blue amid the red, green, and gold? If the holidays bring

more harrumph than hooray, here are some tips to lighten your day.

 

" People need to have realistic expectations about the holidays, " says

Nadine Kaslow, PhD, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences

at Emory University and chief psychologist at the Grady Health System

in Atlanta.

 

" There's so much hype -- people feel everything has to be great, you

have to get along with your family, " she tells WebMD. " Sometimes we

expect holidays to cheer us up when having a tough year. That's not

realistic. "

 

Many people try to do too much, try to please too many people, says

Kenneth Goodrick, PhD, associate professor of family and community

medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. He is a

psychotherapist and author of the book, Energy, Peace, Purpose.

 

Entertaining at home can stretch your last nerve -- especially if it

brings out your perfectionist tendencies, he adds. The holidays can

also open up old wounds, if yours was a dysfunctional family, if

you're divorced, or if you have lost a spouse.

 

" The holidays should be about making good memories, " Goodrick tells

WebMD.

 

Some survival strategies:

 

Think about what's important. " Remember that happiness and

fulfillment lie in the balance between self-care and caring for

others, " he says. " Take care of yourself so you won't burn out, so

you will be of maximum help to others. That's where you will get

maximum fulfillment. "

 

Get involved in a religious [ne: spiritual - Fidyl] faith based in

love, and celebrate that faith.

 

Socialize. If you're feeling lonely, find a church or community

center where you can be with other people. Sing carols. See a play.

 

Gather your support group. Everyone should have someone to talk with

about personal problems -- whether it's a support group or a friend,

says Goodrick. " Happiness and fulfillment comes from doing

constructive work and having loving relationships. Be counselors for

each other, commiserate. Don't judge. Just try to help others come up

with solutions to problems. "

 

Stay away from booze. Alcohol changes your mood -- and it also brings

 

out the worst in people. You can have parties without alcohol or

high-fat foods.

 

Exercise every day. That's especially important when you're eating

more. " It's hard to be sad if you're physically fit, if you get

enough sleep, " says Goodrick.

 

Avoid TV. " Most is not designed to make you a better person, or even

feel better, " he adds.

 

Don't spend so much. " You don't have to buy electronic entertainment

equipment that far exceeds the human sensory capability to detect the

difference, " says Goodrick. " I like going to the mall and not buying

anything. I get a charge out of that. "

 

Simplify your traditions. Instead of the big family gift exchange,

why not exchange amusing and instructive family stories, tell each

other how much we appreciated each other -- or not -- over the years?

" Sometimes honesty is good, " Goodrick says.

 

Do something useful for your community. Visit people at the nursing

home.

 

If your family is having problems, don't try to patch them up now,

says Kaslow. " Resist the temptation to patch up long-standing family

problems. This is not the time of year to do that. It's an

emotionally charged time. People put a lot of importance on holiday

celebrations. It's easier to patch things up when things are less

stressful. "

 

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