Guest guest Posted January 16, 2009 Report Posted January 16, 2009 Namaste Kumari: I have forwarded your response to Swami Jai Ma Jai Swami vishweshwar , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005 wrote: > > Thank you Swamiji for responding positively to my question. It is a > big step that I am taking, that we are taking. Especially since I > have had relationships before. If I may respond as to what the goal > of this relationship is: > > The goal is to take the romantic feelings for each other and > transmute them into being able to see the Deity in each other. > Beyond the romance, companionship and attraction to each other, I do > not see that there can be any other purpose. Any purpose that is > less than that is not good enough to keep two people together for a > life time and not begin to tear each other apart. > > It is a big challenge and I know that I am very far from this goal. > But, if I continue to remember who's child I am and I lay the rough > spots and problems at Ma's feet, then we will make progress. > > And believe me, there will be rough spots and problems from the very > beginning. I am thankful for them, because then I do not expect it > to be any different later. It seems in my other relationships it was > very easy to slide into it unconciously. This time I must work from > the start. > > Pranams to you and to Shree Maa in gratitude, > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya > Kumari > > , " inspectionconnection108 " > <inspectionconnection108@> wrote: > > > > Namaste Kumari, > > > > Gandarva or Prajapat or any other form of marriage does not pertain > to > > the ceremony of marriage, but rather to the motivation and contents > of > > the relationship. > > > > Primarily there are six kinds of marriage: > > Asura - when the bride is stolen away by force. > > Pishach - when the bride is coerced by trickery or deceit. > > Gandarva - when the bride and groom decide on their partners > > themselves and fix the parameters of the relationship without > > consultation of others. > > Prajapat - when the marriage is fixed by the parents and the bride > is > > given to the husband in a ceremony called kanya dhan. > > Divya - Divine Marriage is a partnership between Shiva and Shakti; > > both partners agree to be a constant reminder to each other, an > > inspiration of each others' divinity. > > > > The ceremony you propose is adequate if the motivation is clear and > > the goals of the relationship are clearly defined. > > > > Best of luck. > > > > Swamiji > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005@> > > wrote: > > > > > > This question is about something close to my heart. What does > > > Swamiji think of a Gandharva marriage? I know to some people > this is > > > a lower form of marriage, but I think that depends on the > attitude of > > > the couple involved. > > > > > > In my case both I and my fiance's parents are no longer living, > so > > > there is no father to give the bride away and no father and > mother in > > > law to welcome me into the family. My fiance's brothers and > wives > > > have accepted me gladly as a new member of his family and my > family > > > has raised no objection. We are both independent and make our > own > > > choices, for good or ill. > > > > > > My fiance is willing to go through a ceremony of comittment > before > > > Deity, but I think that it would be too difficult to go through a > > > complicated wedding ritual. As it stands we would do a Ganesh > puja, > > > exchange garlands, have him place the mangal sutra around my > neck, > > > make the seven steps around the fire and then acknowledge each > > > other's divinity. Rings would be exchanged at a civil ceremony > with > > > his other relatives in attendence (and mine if they want to make > the > > > journey). > > > > > > I desire to have Shree Maa's and Swamji's blessing on this plan > and > > > on our relationship. If he or Shree Maa has any suggestions I > would > > > be open to their comments. I think this is supported in the > > > traditions and we would go out of our way to avoid the > difficulties > > > of this arrangement, being responsible and comitted to each other. > > > > > > My respectful pranams to Shree Maa and Swamiji. > > > > > > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya! > > > Kumari > > > > > > Quote
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2009 Report Posted January 16, 2009 Thank you Brother Vish. My pranams. Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya! Kumari , " inspectionconnection108 " <inspectionconnection108 wrote: > > Namaste Kumari: I have forwarded your response to Swami > > Jai Ma Jai Swami > > vishweshwar > > > , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005@> > wrote: > > > > Thank you Swamiji for responding positively to my question. It is a > > big step that I am taking, that we are taking. Especially since I > > have had relationships before. If I may respond as to what the goal > > of this relationship is: > > > > The goal is to take the romantic feelings for each other and > > transmute them into being able to see the Deity in each other. > > Beyond the romance, companionship and attraction to each other, I do > > not see that there can be any other purpose. Any purpose that is > > less than that is not good enough to keep two people together for a > > life time and not begin to tear each other apart. > > > > It is a big challenge and I know that I am very far from this goal. > > But, if I continue to remember who's child I am and I lay the rough > > spots and problems at Ma's feet, then we will make progress. > > > > And believe me, there will be rough spots and problems from the very > > beginning. I am thankful for them, because then I do not expect it > > to be any different later. It seems in my other relationships it was > > very easy to slide into it unconciously. This time I must work from > > the start. > > > > Pranams to you and to Shree Maa in gratitude, > > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya > > Kumari > > > > , " inspectionconnection108 " > > <inspectionconnection108@> wrote: > > > > > > Namaste Kumari, > > > > > > Gandarva or Prajapat or any other form of marriage does not pertain > > to > > > the ceremony of marriage, but rather to the motivation and contents > > of > > > the relationship. > > > > > > Primarily there are six kinds of marriage: > > > Asura - when the bride is stolen away by force. > > > Pishach - when the bride is coerced by trickery or deceit. > > > Gandarva - when the bride and groom decide on their partners > > > themselves and fix the parameters of the relationship without > > > consultation of others. > > > Prajapat - when the marriage is fixed by the parents and the bride > > is > > > given to the husband in a ceremony called kanya dhan. > > > Divya - Divine Marriage is a partnership between Shiva and Shakti; > > > both partners agree to be a constant reminder to each other, an > > > inspiration of each others' divinity. > > > > > > The ceremony you propose is adequate if the motivation is clear and > > > the goals of the relationship are clearly defined. > > > > > > Best of luck. > > > > > > Swamiji > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005@> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > This question is about something close to my heart. What does > > > > Swamiji think of a Gandharva marriage? I know to some people > > this is > > > > a lower form of marriage, but I think that depends on the > > attitude of > > > > the couple involved. > > > > > > > > In my case both I and my fiance's parents are no longer living, > > so > > > > there is no father to give the bride away and no father and > > mother in > > > > law to welcome me into the family. My fiance's brothers and > > wives > > > > have accepted me gladly as a new member of his family and my > > family > > > > has raised no objection. We are both independent and make our > > own > > > > choices, for good or ill. > > > > > > > > My fiance is willing to go through a ceremony of comittment > > before > > > > Deity, but I think that it would be too difficult to go through a > > > > complicated wedding ritual. As it stands we would do a Ganesh > > puja, > > > > exchange garlands, have him place the mangal sutra around my > > neck, > > > > make the seven steps around the fire and then acknowledge each > > > > other's divinity. Rings would be exchanged at a civil ceremony > > with > > > > his other relatives in attendence (and mine if they want to make > > the > > > > journey). > > > > > > > > I desire to have Shree Maa's and Swamji's blessing on this plan > > and > > > > on our relationship. If he or Shree Maa has any suggestions I > > would > > > > be open to their comments. I think this is supported in the > > > > traditions and we would go out of our way to avoid the > > difficulties > > > > of this arrangement, being responsible and comitted to each other. > > > > > > > > My respectful pranams to Shree Maa and Swamiji. > > > > > > > > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya! > > > > Kumari > > > > > > > > > > Quote
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