i think iam mad&need psychadrist(part2)&readers never loose hope

[Guest guest]

thank u vmuch & many people answered the query on basis of their

knowledge.i wanna cum to the pt.bt before that i wanna make a thing

clear that the girl i see in dreams......i have never had any sex or

any stupid thought for her.in dreams wen i used to see her i was

prevented from wet dreams & i in dreams only recived a shaktipaat

kinda thing,i felt that fragrance & peace which she gave & used to get

up that v moment & peace & frragrance remaind wth me for many hours after

then.whoever she may b bt she took me out of hell & animal

existence.the toughest times of opposition & hatred were spent in her

peace.l one day became so overwhelmed that i said 2 myself about

her " world does not knows u dear thats why theres so much pain,so much

hatred ,so much lust,vasana ,trishna......for whoever you r-you are

nothing bt light.thanks.... " the divine dates r-1.i dint note them

down seriously bt whatever i know its here 1.in jan 2006,2.14 feb

2006,3. & 4 2 times b/w6-10 maRch2006.5.8april2006,6.22april2006 7.24

apr,8.28 apr,9.6 jun,10 & 11-2times b/wsept.to decembr.2006 12.27

jan2007,13.25 march2007

boost up ur spirits:

i never in my life chanted any mantra,wth this home environment no 1

can.

u all wanna know my sadhana sanagri:it was radio

tv,shampoos,soaps,perfumes,cold drinks,cell phone,every sound in my

surrounding.i still remember how i used to do so tough meditation

that wen i used to get on my study table 4 studying i 1 day cried so

much because after meditation wen i decided 2study i was so tired & my

back was paining so much that i couldnt even sit.it was not only that

day bt every day there was the same story,earlier i used to stop

myself becuseof my ego bt from that day i often cry wen i knew how

good is tantra [from my own experiences]i feel myself to be a fool

studying these worldly studies!!i wanna be like lord buddha & be

recluse or sanyasi.i hav no guide & wth such parents & their friends of

high class or middle class i cant tell u how its tough to keep urself

enlighten.there worldly talks would often disturb me bt still i kept

on .even while rting iam feeling so helpless & emotional.bt these

things have made me strong everytime,now ther r other things i must

write bt it will b to tough for me to bear.my parents are so much

caring that even single wish wasnt left undone bt provided that i

should move acc to them & becone worldly.this isnt my story bt of every

house.every guy talks so much religion bt on the inside he is full of

rubbish & garbage.now read what i did :radio-through it i used to

meditate for 5-6 hrs in 1 go wth 2 breaks of 20 mins each.every tune

is regarded as a special beejmantra. shampoos-i used to create raja

shakti. after all that fragrant stuff happend i thought that

fragrances play a great role.wat i once smelled i used to repeat that

smell in deep meditation.tv-wth help of tv i got that bent of mind by

which i could make seperate worlds.this is a topic of parralel worlds

& it ll take me at least whole day to write.i now could make my own

vedios of songs i heard.the voices e.g.a womans voice was used to

create raja shakti,while heavy mans voice for vigour.when ever the

songs used to get over i felt cold sensation even in the smallest

pore of my body wth on back sides of my neck,wth palms feeling warm,i

couldnt stand 4 more than 10 mins.i call it as apsara sadhanas while

i used my inner creativity.this particular knowledge was used by mein

exams wherethe good fragrance got me good luck & in these days where

thers less time to sleep & even my sleeplessness were cured.one canfeel

the particular good luck by strange confidence he feels within & the

great cooling sensation.now regarding shampoos they can be rubbed on

hand & smelled for half an hour on daily basis wth diff brands.hot

water-always bathing wth hot water creats skin diseasesbt wth special

techniques it can be bathed wrh any time of tha yr.without any side

effects.hot water helps alot to increase the fragrant

capacity & increases the sharpness,sicerity & quitness of mind.also every

sound around me was distinguished as hreem kleem or aim.one finds

hreem sunds most of the timeeg sound of shrilling wen 2 rough

surfaces rub against each other.this meditation is toughest 1 & can be

done in any situation .it requirs being egoless & silence whole day.now

there are many other things & discoveries bt mail is too long & so dont

lose hope i hav provd to myself & to believrs of this mail that where

thers will thers a way.Now there are other loads of things that can

be written bt the mail is now too long.take care & god bless u all.do

answer.-ashish kaushik