A step forward

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For me, being a logical person, it's either yes or no, 1 or 0,

completeness or nothing. " Middleness " , as I call it, never worked

for me. The joy of being a disciple of the controller of

Siddhashram, an enviable achievement, was enough to make me

misinterpret things. Without any preparations, I jumped straight to

an anushthan. At 21, I was already late for heaven's throne.

 

Guru mantra was the obvious choice and my goal was to chant 151

rounds a day for 11 days using a rosary made of 108 beeds. After a

pleasant start, things began to deteriorate rapidly. My throat

chocked, my body ached like I was being crushed by a bulldozer and

my mind submerged in nasty thoughts I never knew I had. Despite my

best efforts, I couldn't chant more than 16 rounds.

 

Not what I wanted, I got what I needed - a lesson and I learnt it.

 

I trained hard, I trained my mind and I trained my body. Three years

later, there was a great day when I had completed my Guru mantra

anushthan chanting 201 rosary rounds each day concentrating on a

single thought - the thought of my reward - brightly lit by the Sun

of my agya chakra - standing right in front of me - my Gurudev.