Harm Caused by Dowry Custom

March 26, 2010

Shree Hari Ram Ram

Please share clear understanding, referenced by Shaastras on Dowry Customs.

Please limit personal opinions/feelings.

Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram

===================================================

1. Hinduism is the oldest faith on this Earth and late Chandrasekhara Saraswati

or Sankaracharya or Periyaval of Kanchi Peetom to whom all VVIP- including PM-s

and Presidents right from Nehru, had visited for his blessings, has written a

book on Hinduism, though the term was given by the Western World, was the only

faith throughout the World, and is revealed by Shiva Linga-s appearing during

excavations all over the World.

2. The term dowry and its ugliness was coined by the British to insinuate the

Indian practices. The provision of " Sthreedhan " is an ancient practice of

providing the young newly married couple to start their life comfortably,

furniture, utensils and the like or even a separate house and some funds for

beginning the married life.

This was a voluntary offer by the father to the daughter due to limited earnings

of the bridegroom at the start of his career or business. The Gold ornaments

normally given were like bank deposits to be utilised in case of extreme

emergencies to generate cash needs.

3. In matriarchal Societies as among Nairs (and the converts to Christianity and

Muslims), there was no dowry system as the daughters were entitled to the shares

of inherited assets, usually agricutural or farms of fruit bearing trees..etc.,

for herself and each of her children including the 5+ months old foetus, whereas

the sons were entitled to only one share, at the time of partition.

Being predominantly agricultural economy and prohibition of sale of any such

property by the husband until the last child attains majorship or 18 years of

age, the woman was assured of an income from the properties to take her through

even if the husband does not earn or dies or leaves her.

4. Thus among matriarchal Societies women were empowered- instead of all these

vain talk of 33% Reservation..etc. in 2010, to inherit and get benefits all

through her life to bring up the children even without the support of the

husband.

5. Many Muslim and Christian families too follow this ancient matriarchal system

even today- esp. in Kerala and North East and among many tribals

Surprisingly, many non-Hindu families still follow lighting of oil lamps in

evenings, oberving Rahukala-s and omens, astrological matchings for

marriages..etc. even after several generations of conversion.

6. With the matriarchal system nullified by the Hindu Laws and economy changing

from agriculture to business and professions, the patriarchal importance

confined to the North penetrated the South too reducing the status of women to a

housewife, humiliated and harassed often by the husband and his family by

unreasonable demands of dowry and Gold.

7. A new organisation has been floated in Malabar area of Kerala by some good

Samaritans calling for members interested in dowriless marriages!! Within a

month of such announcement the membership has swollen to over 10,000 as oper

latest reports, a good Social awakening among the youth!!

8. Among some tribals and backward Community in Central and North India, there

is this " reverse dowry " practised where the boy or his father has to pay a lump

sum to the parents of the girl before marriage. They consider an additional

labour as an asset as the girl too goes for work alongwith the husband

increasing his income!!

S kumar

(In future please be BRIEF, to stay within Group's guidelines

Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram)

----------

Dowry is well-wishes for every Kanaya as a part of Kanyadan from the father of

the Girl, but the custom which was a Vidhi of Hindu Marriage have been polurised

with greediness. God Bless.

Hari Motwani-Karachi-Pakistan

----------

|| Shree Hari ||

Ram Ram

24th March 2010, Wednesday, Chaitra Shukla Navami, Budhvar

Vikram Samvat 2067, Sri Krishna Samvaat 5236

Harm Caused by Dowry Custom - Part I

Gentlemen, listen to my words carefully, I am sharing with you the sentiments

that have come to my mind. Marriage is a very beautiful, auspicious occurrence.

Such an auspicious event is being excessively corrupted by desire for

fame/praise and greed. The husband's side has greed of taking from the bride's

family, and the bride's family wants to flaunt their grandeur by exhibiting the

sentiments of excessive spending. Due to these two reasons, the most

misfortunate and injurious things are happening. Marriages of girls have become

difficult. Those that are extremely rich, they have no concern, they spend

millions of dollars for praise and recognition. They do not think that how many

people are there that can spend that kind of money in the society? There are a

handful, like your brothers and friends that are equal in esteem, reputation,

position, caste etc. It is due to money that you are being honored. If by more

money you are becoming greater and greater, then remember this - If due to money

you are considering yourself to be greater then this is a very mediocre,

inferior and shallow.

You are a human being, You are the " Nar " (man) that resides with Bhagwaan

" Nar-Narayan " (God)! Do they consider themselves superior due to wealth? In

reality, because of money you are exposed to many faults and vices. You say

that this money is what dirties the hands (corrupts) ! Then have you become

superior to the dirt on your hands? When there is more money, there is more

filth on the hands, and as there is more filth, you become more pleased!! All

that is happening is that you are getting more exposed to vices and faults!

That is all! Because of wealth you have become elevated, than have you become

great? or is it the money that is great? It is your lowliness, your blasphemy,

if you consider yourself to be superior because of your money. You have gone

astray from your path. You have no regard or any thoughts as to the condition

and state of the society. The poor middle-class people what will they do? They

are not lower than you in " jaati " having to do with race, community, family

etc.), they are not lower than you in reputation, only they have less money.

You spend 2-3 crores in weddings, but they do not have this kind of money at

all. Are you not ashamed? Do you not have a sense of decency? Do you not

realize what state and situations others are put due to your actions? They are

your brothers and relatives. No one is inferior or smaller. Due to money you

consider yourself superior, but as such you are inferior! That money, the dirt

on your palms has become greater than you. Money, the cause of your honor and

fame, is that greater or are you greater?

I am not telling any one individual. I feel pain because it is for this reason

that girls are getting killed. Abortions are taking place! The girls that you

are considering as ordinary, they are not ordinary; they are the female energy

(power, force, strength, shakti) She is mother!! Killing them, you will incur a

grave sin. The rich people who spend excessively in weddings have a hand in

this sinful act. They will incur those sins. Poor girls are unable to get

married. Many have turned 25-26! Girls are daughters and they are unable to

marry. What are they to do poor things!! This is grave violence, you are

promoting abortion. The rich people who have unnecessarily spent excessively

in weddings will incur the sins of those who have aborted female child.

Reputation is protected by following dharma, by protecting others.

In Ramayana, read about the marriage scene of Sita-Ramji. Such enthusiasm and

zeal there is in both the parties! Your honor is not due to money, position,

knowledge etc. The glories are of sacrifice. Whether one is a sadhu (ascetic)

or a householder, rich or poor, those who have the sentiments of sacrifice in

their hearts, they are greater in our country. Simply by having a relation with

Bhagwaan (God) you are great, that itself is your true greatness.

What is the best and what is the worst of all things? You think and deeply

reflect on the truth with a cool heart. Inquire about this, if there are doubts

let them arise, but I am telling you that for you to accept what I am saying is

difficult. Money is the lowliest of all things. There is nothing lower than

money. With money everything can be acquired, but just by the money itself can

anything be done? That too if it is put to good use; or else wasting it away on

showmanship and competing with fellow beings, is that any greatness? You are

spending money like you use up water, in exchange for praise, flaunting etc., Is

this honorable to you? It is nothing but your disgrace.

Great is he who makes others great! In Ramayana it is said - " samarth ko nahin

dosh gosaayi, ravi paavak sursareeki nayi " Who is all powerful? He that makes

others' powerful is all powerful. He who makes others incapable is a devilish

person. It is explained in Gitaji Chapter 16 - Demonaic people that are born to

harm the world. Bhagwan is saying this, not me! Therefore do not abuse your

resources, and in turn handicap others around you!

From summary of lecture in hindi on Dec 23, 1996 at 8:30 am by Swami

Ramsukhdasji.

You can also read the message in Hindi titled " Dahej prathaa se haani " at:

http://satcharcha.blogspot.com/

The hindi discourse can also be downloaded from:

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijicontent/97/10-12-96_27-1-97/cdrom/html/a\

a.php?file=../dec1996/19961223_0830.mp3

==================================================================

March 27, 2010

Shree Hari Ram RamPlease share clear understanding, referenced by Shaastras on Dowry Customs. Please limit personal opinions/feelings.Gita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram===================================================NEW POSTING

In India marriages are so expensive. People end up spending beyond their means. On top of that there is the question of giving dowry which inspite of the law has become the rule. Which father dosen't give his daughter presents during mariage? However when the groom tries to extort by threatening his wife physical harm which includes murder then our society must stop this pernicious practice. Because of this in several areas in the North like Rajasthan and Haryana the girl child is aborted by birth and the ratio of female births has dropped alarmingly. So much so that brides are bought from poor families of other states by the well to do while others remain bachelors.Hari Shanker Deo

---

Shree Hari Ram Ram

"Sahaj mile so doodh sam, maang liyaa so pani |

Skenchaataani rakt sam, yeh santo ki vaani ||

That which comes of it's own will is as good as milk, and that thing which is asked for is as good as water. However, that in which there is pulling and tugging competition, with the attitude that we will take that much money, then this is as good as sucking someone else's blood ! With such money, there will be no benefit, no welfare of anyone. Now for a few days it may appear to be beneficial, but the end outcome will be outrageously terrible.

To read more, from "Dahej Prathaa se Haani" in Hindi (from Sadhan, Sudha, Sindhu pg 950-954) .

========================================

Shree Hari Ram Ram

For the benefit of Sadhaks we have attached images of article "Dahej Prathaa se Haani" in Hindi from Sadhan, Sudhaa, Sindhu.

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijibooks/pustak/pustak1/html/sadhansudhasindhu/samajsudhar/samaj14_950.jpg

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijibooks/pustak/pustak1/html/sadhansudhasindhu/samajsudhar/samaj14_951.jpg

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijibooks/pustak/pustak1/html/sadhansudhasindhu/samajsudhar/samaj14_952.jpg

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijibooks/pustak/pustak1/html/sadhansudhasindhu/samajsudhar/samaj14_953.jpg

http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijibooks/pustak/pustak1/html/sadhansudhasindhu/samajsudhar/samaj14_954.jpg

If any of you read it, please translate the portions you like in English and share with Sadhaks.

Meera Das, Ram Ram

--

Dowry, stree-dhan or whatever you call it, it is simply a social custom (sampradayam)

and not ordained in any shastram. Like anything can be abused, this

social custom, in some cases becomes social evil. Just like the financial status

of families and financial potential of groom are issues in arranged marriage,

dowry also falls into the equation.

DEMANDING DOWRY is DEMEANING and STUPID.

It is like demanding that groom or bride who is a B.Com should become MBBS

at the time of marriage or after marriage; this is not cool. If dowry is a consideration, then

one should look for that before hand and not demand later.

This is a personal matter, although there are already laws against dowry.

Dowry is there, because, people want it and most are not willing to take

a stand against it. As long as people entertain it, dowry

will be there- like it or leave it. You can not enforce it, either way.

Regards

KST (Koti Sreekrishna)

-----------------------------Whatever you have written about the past seems tp be largely true and thereis n point debating them. Nor, is there any need to be proud of our beingconnected to the oldest religion and oldest scientific social system. Thereson is that today we are among the poorest nations of the World withvirtually no oroginal contribution to the progress of modern civilizationthrough science, technology, medicine, philosophy, most sports, literacy,education andenvironment. Large number of Indians still depend for relief byforeigners donating money, medicine and treatment. It is a shame, despitethe past great contributions in the form of Gita, Aayurveda, Zero asconcept, algebra formula, etc, we remain pitiable conditions even worse thanthe Chinese.Basudeb Sen-

1. Hinduism is the oldest faith on this Earth and late Chandrasekhara Saraswatior Sankaracharya or Periyaval of Kanchi Peetom to whom all VVIP- including PM-sand Presidents right from Nehru, had visited for his blessings, has written abook on Hinduism, though the term was given by the Western World, was the onlyfaith throughout the World, and is revealed by Shiva Linga-s appearing duringexcavations all over the World.2. The term dowry and its ugliness was coined by the British to insinuate theIndian practices. The provision of "Sthreedhan" is an ancient practice ofproviding the young newly married couple to start their life comfortably,furniture, utensils and the like or even a separate house and some funds forbeginning the married life.This was a voluntary offer by the father to the daughter due to limited earningsof the bridegroom at the start of his career or business. The Gold ornamentsnormally given were like bank deposits to be utilised in case of extremeemergencies to generate cash needs.3. In matriarchal Societies as among Nairs (and the converts to Christianity andMuslims), there was no dowry system as the daughters were entitled to the sharesof inherited assets, usually agricutural or farms of fruit bearing trees..etc.,for herself and each of her children including the 5+ months old foetus, whereasthe sons were entitled to only one share, at the time of partition.Being predominantly agricultural economy and prohibition of sale of any suchproperty by the husband until the last child attains majorship or 18 years ofage, the woman was assured of an income from the properties to take her througheven if the husband does not earn or dies or leaves her.4. Thus among matriarchal Societies women were empowered- instead of all thesevain talk of 33% Reservation..etc. in 2010, to inherit and get benefits allthrough her life to bring up the children even without the support of thehusband.5. Many Muslim and Christian families too follow this ancient matriarchal systemeven today- esp. in Kerala and North East and among many tribalsSurprisingly, many non-Hindu families still follow lighting of oil lamps inevenings, oberving Rahukala-s and omens, astrological matchings formarriages..etc. even after several generations of conversion.6. With the matriarchal system nullified by the Hindu Laws and economy changingfrom agriculture to business and professions, the patriarchal importanceconfined to the North penetrated the South too reducing the status of women to ahousewife, humiliated and harassed often by the husband and his family byunreasonable demands of dowry and Gold.7. A new organisation has been floated in Malabar area of Kerala by some goodSamaritans calling for members interested in dowriless marriages!! Within amonth of such announcement the membership has swollen to over 10,000 as operlatest reports, a good Social awakening among the youth!!8. Among some tribals and backward Community in Central and North India, thereis this "reverse dowry" practised where the boy or his father has to pay a lumpsum to the parents of the girl before marriage. They consider an additionallabour as an asset as the girl too goes for work alongwith the husbandincreasing his income!!S kumar(In future please be BRIEF, to stay within Group's guidelinesGita Talk Moderators, Ram Ram)----------Dowry is well-wishes for every Kanaya as a part of Kanyadan from the father ofthe Girl, but the custom which was a Vidhi of Hindu Marriage have been polurisedwith greediness. God Bless.Hari Motwani-Karachi-Pakistan----------|| Shree Hari ||Ram Ram24th March 2010, Wednesday, Chaitra Shukla Navami, BudhvarVikram Samvat 2067, Sri Krishna Samvaat 5236Harm Caused by Dowry Custom - Part IGentlemen, listen to my words carefully, I am sharing with you the sentimentsthat have come to my mind. Marriage is a very beautiful, auspicious occurrence.Such an auspicious event is being excessively corrupted by desire forfame/praise and greed. The husband's side has greed of taking from the bride'sfamily, and the bride's family wants to flaunt their grandeur by exhibiting thesentiments of excessive spending. Due to these two reasons, the mostmisfortunate and injurious things are happening. Marriages of girls have becomedifficult. Those that are extremely rich, they have no concern, they spendmillions of dollars for praise and recognition. They do not think that how manypeople are there that can spend that kind of money in the society? There are ahandful, like your brothers and friends that are equal in esteem, reputation,position, caste etc. It is due to money that you are being honored. If by moremoney you are becoming greater and greater, then remember this - If due to moneyyou are considering yourself to be greater then this is a very mediocre,inferior and shallow.You are a human being, You are the "Nar" (man) that resides with Bhagwaan"Nar-Narayan" (God)! Do they consider themselves superior due to wealth? Inreality, because of money you are exposed to many faults and vices. You saythat this money is what dirties the hands (corrupts) ! Then have you becomesuperior to the dirt on your hands? When there is more money, there is morefilth on the hands, and as there is more filth, you become more pleased!! Allthat is happening is that you are getting more exposed to vices and faults! That is all! Because of wealth you have become elevated, than have you becomegreat? or is it the money that is great? It is your lowliness, your blasphemy,if you consider yourself to be superior because of your money. You have goneastray from your path. You have no regard or any thoughts as to the conditionand state of the society. The poor middle-class people what will they do? Theyare not lower than you in "jaati" having to do with race, community, familyetc.), they are not lower than you in reputation, only they have less money. You spend 2-3 crores in weddings, but they do not have this kind of money atall. Are you not ashamed? Do you not have a sense of decency? Do you notrealize what state and situations others are put due to your actions? They areyour brothers and relatives. No one is inferior or smaller. Due to money youconsider yourself superior, but as such you are inferior! That money, the dirton your palms has become greater than you. Money, the cause of your honor andfame, is that greater or are you greater?I am not telling any one individual. I feel pain because it is for this reasonthat girls are getting killed. Abortions are taking place! The girls that youare considering as ordinary, they are not ordinary; they are the female energy(power, force, strength, shakti) She is mother!! Killing them, you will incur agrave sin. The rich people who spend excessively in weddings have a hand inthis sinful act. They will incur those sins. Poor girls are unable to getmarried. Many have turned 25-26! Girls are daughters and they are unable tomarry. What are they to do poor things!! This is grave violence, you arepromoting abortion. The rich people who have unnecessarily spent excessivelyin weddings will incur the sins of those who have aborted female child. Reputation is protected by following dharma, by protecting others.In Ramayana, read about the marriage scene of Sita-Ramji. Such enthusiasm andzeal there is in both the parties! Your honor is not due to money, position,knowledge etc. The glories are of sacrifice. Whether one is a sadhu (ascetic)or a householder, rich or poor, those who have the sentiments of sacrifice intheir hearts, they are greater in our country. Simply by having a relation withBhagwaan (God) you are great, that itself is your true greatness.What is the best and what is the worst of all things? You think and deeplyreflect on the truth with a cool heart. Inquire about this, if there are doubtslet them arise, but I am telling you that for you to accept what I am saying isdifficult. Money is the lowliest of all things. There is nothing lower thanmoney. With money everything can be acquired, but just by the money itself cananything be done? That too if it is put to good use; or else wasting it away onshowmanship and competing with fellow beings, is that any greatness? You arespending money like you use up water, in exchange for praise, flaunting etc., Isthis honorable to you? It is nothing but your disgrace.Great is he who makes others great! In Ramayana it is said - "samarth ko nahindosh gosaayi, ravi paavak sursareeki nayi" Who is all powerful? He that makesothers' powerful is all powerful. He who makes others incapable is a devilishperson. It is explained in Gitaji Chapter 16 - Demonaic people that are born toharm the world. Bhagwan is saying this, not me! Therefore do not abuse yourresources, and in turn handicap others around you!From summary of lecture in hindi on Dec 23, 1996 at 8:30 am by SwamiRamsukhdasji.You can also read the message in Hindi titled "Dahej prathaa se haani" at:http://satcharcha.blogspot.com/The hindi discourse can also be downloaded from:http://www.swamiramsukhdasji.org/swamijicontent/97/10-12-96_27-1-97/cdrom/html/a\a.php?file=../dec1996/19961223_0830.mp3==================================================================