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Guruvani

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Srila Sridhar Maharaja (Loving Search for the Lost Servant)

 

 

In the Manu-samhita it is stated:

vidvadbhih sevitah sadbhir

nityam advesa-ragibhih

hrdayenabhyanujnato

yo dharmas tam nibhodhata

 

We can feel within our heart whether we are gainers or losers. That tasting machine is within us. As we progress in Krsna consciousness, our karma, our connection with this material world, will evaporate in no time, and spacious knowledge will come to satisfy us.

 

At that time, we shall feel the object of our life everywhere (mayi drste'khilatmani). When we can see that the fulfillment of life has embraced us, we shall see that everything within the environment is helping us, everything is sympathetic to us from all sides.

 

In that spiritual domain, everyone shall take interest in loving us. We may be careless about our own interest, but the environment there is more favorable and affectionate to us than we can even estimate, just as a child cannot estimate the extent of his mother's affection. In this way, friends and home comforts will surround us, and with this realization we shall go back to God, back to home.

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The hardest thing for me is adjusting myself to the environment rather than trying to adjust the environment to suit me.

 

I just started reading Srila Sridhar Maharaja's "Divine Aspiration", and this theme is echoed there.

 

From page 30:

 

We have no ability to interfere with the environment; to do so will only be a useless waste of energy. Rather, we must try to correct *ourselves*, so that we can adjust with the circumstances we find surrounding us. We have been advised that the best estimation we can make about the environment is to see it and understand it as a grant. A grant means something which is given. But from where is this grant coming? It is coming from my Lord and He is my Guardian. He is Supreme; He is Autocrat. So, what is coming from Him is His grace. We are living by His grace always and it is not a matter of 'right.' That we are living and existing at all is not our birthright! Whether we exist does not matter to the Infinite Whole. So, tat te 'nukampam susamiksamano: whatever comes is His grace; it is not earned by my right, my ability, or my qualification. Our well-guided estimation about the environment should be such.
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What use is a particle of our intelligence? How much can it measure

the infinite? Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu says, "Don't try to apply your

brain to the infinite. The brain is not a unit for measurement in that

plane. Your intellect is canceled by the infinite. Try to measure it only

by feeling, by taste, by heart - the brain will be your enemy. It will

always deceive you in its measurement, and that will disturb you and

limit your progress.

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From "Heart and Halo"

Devotee:

 

 

Srila Guru Maharaja, some time ago I was told that if one is not struggling in

 

 

 

Krishna-consciousness it is not a good thing. Should that be the condition of someone

who is striving to be Krishna-conscious, that he is struggling?

 

 

Srila Sridhara Maharaj:

 

 

When a devotee is trying to conquer his senses, when he is trying

 

 

to conquer the influences of

 

kama, krodha, lobha, moha, mada, matsarya (lust, anger,

 

 

 

greed, madness, illusion and envy), at that time he cannot avoid that struggle. Progress

means a struggle, of different kinds, and that happens in the stage of

 

 

madhyama-adhikara

 

 

 

(the intermediate stage). Generally, that is the time of difficulties. In

 

 

kanistha-adhikara,

 

 

 

in the lower stage, one does not concern himself with the stage of his progress, or if he is

getting devotion or not; with a peaceful mind he is engaged in arcane (deity worship), or

whatever may be his service. But when the stage of

 

 

madhyama-adhikara begins, real

 

 

 

struggle begins in one’s life. He will have to adjust many things,

 

 

laukiki vaidhiki vapi, not

 

 

 

only regarding his devotional life, as advised by the scriptures (

 

 

vaidhiki), but also his

 

 

 

social position (

 

 

laukiki), his ordinary dealings, his quarrels, his relationships with society,

 

 

 

with education.

Generally the tendency to preach comes in this stage; he wants to extend himself to

try to remove the difficulties in the environment and convert it to his purpose. The

 

 

madhyama-adhikari’s

 

 

life is one of struggle. And when he reaches uttama-adhikara (the

 

 

 

advanced stage of realization) then he becomes somewhat peaceful in his life. He

becomes peaceful; he sees that everywhere things are going well, according to the will of

Krishna. He can see the will of Krishna very easily and that His backing is everywhere.

So he has not much to do, or struggle for:

 

 

sarva-bhutesu yah pasyed bhagavad-bhavam atmanah

 

 

bhutani bhagavaty atmany esa bhagavatottamah

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 11.2.45)

 

 

“One on the topmost platform of devotional service (

 

 

uttama-bhagavata) sees within

 

 

 

everything the Soul of souls, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krishna. He sees

everything in relation to the Supreme Lord and understands that everything that exists is

eternally situated within the Lord.”

But when one is living in the plane of ignorance, of misconception, it is necessary

for him to find harmony, because he is seeing both things,

 

 

maya (illusion) and isvara (the

 

 

 

presence of Godhead). He wants to install

 

 

isvara – God, Godliness, God-consciousness –

 

 

 

and he tries his hardest to remove misconception. So,

 

 

madhyama-adhikara is a period of

 

 

 

struggle; it is in the stage of

 

 

sadhana-dasa, the stage of practice.

 

 

 

As a result of

 

 

sukrti, spiritual fortune due to devotional service rendered knowingly

 

 

 

or unknowingly, the soul first acquires

 

 

sraddha, divine faith, then sadhu-sangha, one gets

 

 

 

the association of real devotees. That is the stage of hearing ,

 

 

sravana-dasa; then varanadasa

 

 

 

one accepts the principle, the teachings, the path of devotion; and then comes

sadhana-dasa

 

 

, the stage of practice, and this stage is full of struggle. Then, in the apanadasa

 

 

 

stage of advanced realization, one feels peaceful in

 

 

bhava-bhakti, the first opening

 

 

 

of the bud of divine love, which in the stage of

 

 

prapanna-dasa, full surrender, becomes

 

 

 

prema-bhakti,

 

 

pure love of God.

 

 

 

And again, when he is already in

 

 

lila, situated in the transcendental pastimes, there

 

 

 

is another struggle, but that is of another kind. In Vraja, Vrndavan, there is also

competition, a struggle. Yasoda will think, “How to control this naughty child? I fail to

do so; I can’t manage Him!” In this way there is struggle, but that is produced by

 

 

yogamaya;

 

 

 

it is in

 

 

prema-bhakti, ahi bhavati premna, and it is dynamic in character, not static.

 

 

 

Where the plane is dynamic, there must be struggle; in some way or other it is present as

competition in the plane of

 

 

lila.

 

 

 

In the

 

 

sakhya-rasa there is play where there are two parties; on one side is Krishna,

 

 

 

on the other, Balarama, and each wants to be victorious. That is also a struggle, but it is

purely of another kind: it is transcendental play.

In

 

 

madhura-rasa also, several parties are there: Radharani’s party, Chandravali’s

 

 

 

party and so many others; and the servitors of each party have to manage for their own

interest, the interest of their mistress.

So the dynamic character means a kind of struggle – a sweet struggle. And in this

world there is struggle also, but that is bitter. When we have to struggle to remove the

nescience and invite the real science, to go from misunderstanding to pure knowledge, in

the beginning that struggle is very bitter. It is not only tasteless, but also sometimes

painful. But when we enter the higher realm, the struggle becomes more or less sweet.

Lila must mean a kind of struggle. There are differences, there is conquering,

sometimes they are taking the help of deception – one party is deceiving the other – but

everything is

 

 

aprakrta, prakrta-vat, super-transcendental, though it is appearing just like

 

 

 

ordinary worldly affairs.

And so also something like immorality is there;

 

 

niti rahita, the moral laws are being

 

 

 

crossed for the satisfaction of Krishna. This is a very high conception: to do anything and

everything for Him. The

 

 

kama-rupa group are prepared to do anything and everything for

 

 

 

Krishna, and for that kind of service they are under no law. Krishna is the origin and

master of law, and for Him anything can be done, crossing the existing law of the society.

 

 

ajnayaivam gunan dosan mayadistan api svakan

 

 

dharman santyajya yah sarvan mam bhajeta sa tu sattamah

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 11.11.32)

 

 

Those who are ready to cross even the

 

 

sastric orders, which have been given to us

 

 

 

for our own benefit, for the service of Krishna, are really the highest class of devotee.

Law, which has been established by the Lord, is for the ordinary people; however, a

special section exists who are ready to cross over that law, only for their exclusive service

to the Lord.

sarva-dharman parityajya, mam ekam saranam vraja

aham tvam sarva-papebhyo

(Bhagavad-gita 18.66)

“Totally abandoning all kinds of religion, surrender exclusively unto Me. I will

liberate you from all kinds of sins, so do not despair.”

Many rules and rites of

 

 

varnasrama-dharma are given for our benefit, but that is

 

 

 

when we are in a lower stage. And in the higher stage, “crossing the law, I shall serve

Him!” – that is faith!

Suppose it is forbidden to enter the harem of the king; the general law states that it

is forbidden to all, and none should transgress that. But if one perceives some urgent

service is necessary, if he suspects there is some danger to the king’s life, then perhaps he

will cross the law at his own risk and enter the harem, for the benefit of the king, to save

him. So there is a particular section of devotees who are ready to cross over the law for

the Lord’s satisfaction.

Those who can know the interest of Krishna are a special group; they are highest

among the devotees. Law is meant for the general public, but the sweet will of Krishna is

above all law.

 

 

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So everywhere there is struggle: where there is life, there is struggle. Where there is

 

 

progress there is struggle; and where there is lila, play, there is struggle, though of a

 

 

 

different kind. One is sweet, the other painful. In the lower stage it is a little painful for us

 

 

 

 

to cut the tie of attraction to this world; but when some permanent relationship is

 

established with the upper world, when we have regained that, then to move forward is

happy. Since progress means a struggle, that struggle will continue throughout the whole

stage of

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

madhyama-adhikara.

 

 

 

 

 

Then, in

 

 

 

 

uttama-adhikara (the stage of advanced devotion) externally the life may

 

 

 

 

 

become peaceful. And again, in the higher stage, in

 

 

 

 

vilasa (pastimes), crossing santa-rasa

 

 

 

 

 

 

(passive appreciation and adoration) which is a peaceful stage, again the struggle begins,

 

 

 

 

 

but that is a sweet struggle. It is arranged not by

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maha-maya, but by yoga-maya; it is

 

 

 

 

 

carrying us to the center. The very land there is of

 

 

 

 

rasa; it is rasamaya, full of sweet

 

 

 

 

 

taste, the land of nectar,

 

 

 

 

amrtamaya-loka. The difference between the two kinds of

 

 

 

 

 

struggle is something like the experience of a man working in a hot desert or in a good,

 

 

 

 

healthy atmosphere, or the work of a diseased man and that of a healthy man. It is like

 

that.

There is also an expression: “ignorance is bliss.” One who is in ignorance is living

in peace, because he does not know anything, he is unconscious. That is also peaceful;

because there is no consciousness, there is no pain. When a patient is in pain the doctor

wants to render him unconscious by some injection, and to keep him in that state, because

if he awakes he will experience so much pain, acute pain. So, it is necessary that he be

placed in another state, unconsciousness.

That unconsciousness is ignorance, and it also has a kind of taste,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tamo-guna. But

 

 

 

 

 

that is not real peace. There is no feeling, it is zero. But zero is also of an infinite

 

 

 

 

character. Infinity and zero are similar. If we add zero to zero it comes to zero, and if we

 

subtract zero from zero it is also zero; zero divided by zero, again zero. In the same way,

if infinity is added to, subtracted from or divided by infinity, it all comes to infinity.

So, “ignorance is bliss.” If there is no consciousness, there is no question of pain. It

is like the existence of a stone. The extreme liberationists reach such a stage as that of a

fossil or a stone. They want peace, so they are given a stone-like state of peace:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ye ‘nye ‘ravindaksa vimukta-maninas

 

 

 

tvayy asta-bhavad avisuddha-buddhayah

aruhaya krcchrena param padam tatah

patanty adho ‘nadrta-yusmad anghrayah

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.32)

 

 

 

 

 

“O lotus-eyed Lord, although non-devotees who accept severe penances and

 

 

 

 

 

austerities to achieve the highest position may think themselves liberated, their

intelligence remains impure. They simply speculate in various ways and do not seek the

means to take shelter of You. Because they have no regard for Your lotus feet, they

simply fall down from their position of imagined superiority into material existence

again.”

To those who are determined to be ‘one’ with Him, this heavy punishment is at last

given, and they are thrown down to take such an existence, that of a stone, and in that

way they can live in peace for

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lakhs, crores, or millions of years. They can become a

 

 

 

 

 

Himalaya, a stone, or a tree. In the

 

 

 

 

Puranas we find examples of personalities who were

 

 

 

 

 

cursed to such a fate; and in that state there also is a sort of peace: “ignorance is bliss:”

 

 

 

 

And those who have gone up to

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

santa-rasa, they also find some peace. But entering

 

 

 

 

 

Vaikuntha, again there is life, movement, and that is for service. In

 

 

 

 

dasya-rasa there is

 

 

 

 

 

activity, there is struggle. They are serving the order: “Do this, go here, give this to

 

 

 

 

them.” There is so much movement, and movement means struggle, but that struggle

 

gives peace. That kind of struggle begins in

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dasya-rasa. And santa-rasa is the marginal

 

 

 

 

 

position, and in that position of non-activity there is also peace, but it is of a lower

 

 

 

 

quality:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

atmaramas ca munayo nirgrantha apy urukrame

 

 

 

kurvanty ahaitukim bhaktim ittham-bhuta-guno harih

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.7.10)

 

 

 

 

 

“All varieties of

 

 

 

 

 

atmaramas (those who take pleasure in the atma or spiritual self),

 

 

 

 

especially those established on the path of self-realization, though freed from all kinds of

material bondage, desire to render unalloyed devotional service unto the Personality of

Godhead. This means that the Lord possesses transcendental qualities and therefore can

attract everyone, including even liberated souls.”

That is the marginal position, it is only on the threshold of service proper:

 

 

 

 

 

brahma-bhutah prasannatma

 

 

 

na socati na kanksati

samah sarvesu bhutesu

mad-bhaktim labhate param

(Bhagavad-gita 18.54)

 

 

 

 

 

“The spotlessly pure-hearted and self-satisfied soul who has attained to his

 

 

 

 

 

conscious divine nature neither grieves, nor craves for anything. Seeing all beings equally

(in the conception of My supreme energy), he gradually achieves supreme devotion,

 

 

 

 

 

prema-bhakti

 

 

 

 

, unto Me.”

 

 

 

 

So the marginal position is a position of so-called peace. But we find dynamic

peace in struggle, as it appears externally in

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dasya, sakhya and vatsalya-rasas, and in

 

 

 

 

 

 

madhura-rasa

 

 

 

 

and its sub-divisions, svakiya and parakiya. Suppose the madhura-rasa

 

 

 

 

 

 

servitors are to meet with Krishna on a dark night in the forest; on the surface it appears

 

 

 

 

 

they have to struggle in so many ways. Being given the sign, hearing the particular flutesong

 

of Krishna, they will have to pass through the jungle to be somewhere, at a

particular time. That appears like an ordinary struggle, but it is the sweetest movement.

If ‘struggle’ means ‘movement’, then there, on that plane, where movement is so

sweet, struggle is a high thing. But if we think that struggle means something painful,

then that struggle must be of the lower plane. Here it is pain producing; all movement, all

endeavour here produces only pain. On the higher plane, there is also movement, but that

movement produces sweetness, just as sandalwood when rubbed produces a sweet scent.

There is struggle for the purpose of producing sweetness.

So there on the highest level they are also very busily struggling, but that struggle is

producing nectar, which they are tasting. To struggle also means to be busy. Everyone

there is so busy, more than we can ever conceive. They are so active, but their activity is

not painful; it produces peace. Here, trying to do away with our unholy attraction to the

mundane, we experience a painful struggle. But, as the English poet Shelly wrote: “Our

sweetest songs tell of saddest thought.” That kind of struggle also gives us peace. When a

beginner in devotion starts to become detached from his mundane environment, to leave

it is painful, but he also gets a kind of peace:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yad anucarita-lila-karna-piyusa-viprut

 

 

 

sakrd adana-vidhuta-dvandva-dharma vinastah

sapadi grha-kutumbam dinam utsrjya dina

bahava iha vihanga bhkisu-caryam caranti

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.47.18)

 

 

 

 

 

A devotee leaves his family, and his family is crying and wailing; he also feels pain

 

 

 

 

 

because of their anguish. But still he feels a kind of peace of a higher quality, so he can

bear the apparent pain of separation from his family life. When he is giving up his home

and his family, he feels some painful reaction, but beyond that, in his heart of hearts, he

feels some bright prospect. When a man goes to a foreign country to earn some money,

he leaves his family and so he feels some pain, but at heart he also realizes that he is

going to bring in money which will satisfy him, and enable him to enjoy.

In a similar way, when a person goes to leave this world, his association with

misconception, apparently, or outwardly, he feels pain on account of what he is doing,

but at heart he gets some hope of a bright future, and with that strength he can go on.

So, when we have some attraction for this mischievous world, and we try to leave it,

at that stage we struggle – a painful struggle. But still, beyond that we see a bright hope

of some unparalleled nectarean taste of life.

So struggle does not always mean pain. Up to a certain stage it is painful, and that is

due to

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maya, misconception. And we find also the symptoms of pain in Krishna-lila, but

 

 

 

 

 

that is not really pain. It is apparent pain; it only seems so. Krishna said that He would

 

 

 

 

come to a particular

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

kunja (forest bower) and Radharani with Her party went there, but

 

 

 

 

 

He did not come. That is called

 

 

 

 

kalahantarita, mistiming, that is, being let down by the

 

 

 

 

 

lover or beloved; and there are so many other situations, like

 

 

 

 

mana (jealousy), etc. All

 

 

 

 

 

these things are painful, but as Krishnadasa Kaviaja Goswami writes, describing Krishna

 

 

 

 

prema:

 

 

 

 

 

bahye visa-jvala haya, bhitare ananda-maya

 

 

 

 

, externally there appears to be great

 

 

 

 

 

pain, but the heart is overflowing with blissfulness. So, “Our sweetest songs are those

 

 

 

 

which tell of saddest thought.” Externally it is sad, but internally, it is sweet. It is like

 

that.

When we take the Name, in the beginning we think it our duty to count so many

rounds, and sometimes it is painful. But when we get a taste for the Name, then our inner

tendency incites us to take the Name more and more – not that as a duty we will

somehow have to finish sixteen rounds. But when we acquire

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ruci, inner taste for that

 

 

 

 

 

particular service, it is happy. Until and unless we acquire that position, there must be

 

 

 

 

some pain.

 

As long as we do not have that taste and we are doing that service as a duty, we will

feel some pain. So

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sadhana-dasa is a little painful, on the whole. Then in apana-dasa it

 

 

 

 

 

becomes sweet. Underground, of course, sweetness is everywhere; otherwise why should

 

 

 

 

a person be tempted to approach the spiritual path? Only for the hope of sweetness. But

 

 

still, if we want to see by analysis, then the process is:

 

 

 

 

 

 

sravana-dasa, hearing; then

 

 

 

 

 

 

varana-dasa

 

 

 

 

, accepting; then sadhana-dasa, practicing. Up to this point it is a little

 

 

 

 

 

painful. Then

 

 

 

 

apana-dasa, realized devotion; and finally prapanna-dasa, full selfsurrender.

 

 

 

And what pain exists is only apparent; substantially it is all sweet.

 

 

 

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Holy mackerel!! What joy!

 

I read the whole thing eagerly, but how about a one or two line summary for those with less patience, eh, krsna-ji?

 

Something like: in the spiritual realm every activity is joyful, even those which would be tedious to us on this plane of struggle.

 

Of course, if one has some taste, reading the words of Param-Gurudev are like showering in a rain of nectar.

 

 

 

So everywhere there is struggle: where there is life, there is struggle. Where there is

 

progress there is struggle; and where there is lila, play, there is struggle, though of a

 

 

different kind. One is sweet, the other painful. In the lower stage it is a little painful for us

 

 

 

to cut the tie of attraction to this world; but when some permanent relationship is

 

established with the upper world, when we have regained that, then to move forward is

happy

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

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