Dearest Shushan,
I have only been associating with ISKCON since November, but I know for a fact that ISKCON is only a Society to help us become devotees, surrendered, spiritually-realised souls for Krishna. And although you may not agree with the writings of the gurus, I still believe that reading them would be of great benefit. Reading the writings of Srila Sridhar Maharaj has definitely left a mark on how starkingly different Krishna consciousness or conceptions of Krishna can be by looking it at different angles.
Some people find it very difficult for certain parts of Gaudiya practice. For example, I have a more difficult time understanding why ISKCON devotees do not eat mushrooms (which are in the mode of ignorance) when eggplant, tomatoes and potatoes are in the same mode as well. Illicit sex is not a big problem for me though, although I know of a devotee whose one large contention is with this 'regulative principle'.
Eh, regarding chocolate, only the more fundamentalist devotees are adamant about others not eating chocolate. But most Gaudiya devotees, both ISKCON-related and non-ISKCON-related, enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. According to ISKCON, tofu and soy are not offerable to Krishna, whilst in Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, tofu and soy are definitely offerable, especially with vegan devotees!
In SCS Math actually, the harmonium is not used specifically because worship music should not gratify the senses and to awaken a simple devotional love for God through our voices, the mrdanga and karataalas.
Poverty (spiritual) is a virtue, and the story of Narada Muni and the elephant going through the eye of a needle is a wonderful example. So just because some devotees gratify their senses with very tasty prasadam, does not mean that you have to as well. I personally try not to eat eggplant, although I enjoy it when it is cooked by others. Onions and garlic are only eaten in situations where it would be rude to remove them, and meat is absolutely forbidden for myself.
We are coming deeper and deeper into Kali Yuga, and thus allowances can be made. I have made the decision to only read books that preach of God-consciousness; I have several translations of the Qur'an, Bible, Baha'i Writings, along with my Vedic literatures. My music can be anything clean, but worship music should be simple. I offer everything, even when eating out in restaurants, to Krishna, and I try not to hang with drug-abusers, alcoholics, impersonalists, sex-addicts, etc. and try to hang with more God-loving peoples.
Patience is necessary for spiritual progression. If we are too hard on ourselves, then we become simply frustrated.
Srila Sridhar Maharaj said: "The center of all attraction is Krishna. His attraction is by beauty, by charm, and by love - and not by coercion and force. That is the Krishna conception of Godhead."
With Krishna, there is no official policy. I and all others have no right to judge your spiritual capacity but Krishna alone. ISKCON, the gurus, and other Gaudiya organisations are tools to help one to become conscious of Krishna's presence as the ultimate conception of Beauty and Love. As soon as we create disharmony, then Krishna is displeased. If every soul is a Vaishnavite, an eternal servant of God, then we must try not to offend anyone.
If Krishna is your Ishta-Deva, then listen to Him, pray to Him, and love Him as best you can. Chant His Name, continue associating with devotees, offer every foodstuff, action, suffering and sin to Krishna, and always think of Him constantly. Perhaps Krishna's mercy will grace you when you leave this earthly life. And of course, love your friends and family as servants of God, and worship Paramatma through them all.
madanbhakta.