Srinivas22

I'm 34 year old boy and I'm physically still a virgin and unmarried. Please can any one answer me by performing some yoga/mantra/Saadhana can I get any benefits, For example will I be able to see Sri Hanuman/ Sri Ayappa/ Sri Vinayaka. Whether there is really any benefits being brahmachary with respect to acquiring some saadhana. Because of prolong years of controlling/not getting any opportunity to have a physical contact, presently I'm in stage that I can completely kill the desire(kama). I'm in a dilemma whether I should complete kill the desire or Really enjoy at least for the remaining years. Can any one suggest me what should I do.

Sorry if I have asked some intimidating question!!! Please read completly I am aged 34, still a bachelor, due to some strange and unknown reasons, I was not able to make a friendship with even a single girl( I can only speak breif related work just like official conversation), Some girls just loking at me comment like I am a Dog (due to the way I look). I swear untill today I never harmed any one and never turned to bad paths to get Pleasure. And even my marraige has got delayed, in child hood (11 - 16) I had some psycological proble like extreme fear, Out of the body experinces, My education got struck and some how i got a degree. And afterwards i was wasted some years idle without doing any job and now I have a job but low salary. I am fed up with my life, I 'm thinking to take the path of brahmacharya and I want to achieve Atma Gnana. Just 6 or 7 years back one evening when i was just spending time with my friends in a playgroung, a dog suddenly came to my back and pissed on my upper back. Even now a days even without harming any one in my office/near my house people just scold me,abuse me, pass bad comments on me. Can any one PLEASE tell me what exactly is happening in my life. Whether god wants me to be Brahmachary I don't mind to dedicate my life towards the path of GOD. But How to KNOW what is happening WHich is right and which is wrong. I'm in search of a GURU for the path of Jnana, where to find him, how to reach him, CAN ANY one Please help me..