I have come to the conclusion that sometimes the karma of a person is so bad that it even prevents the person to chant the maha-mantra or to advance spiritually. That is my personal case. Although i want to chant the maha-mantra and sometimes i can do it, most of the time i just dont't have enough mental peace to chant it, because of my personal (familiar) situation.
I've had a very bad relationship with my parents my whole life, specially with my father. And now i'm forced to live with them due to economic reasons. But in this situation i can't avoid to feel a very deep anger at every moment. Although i want to advance spiritually and want to chant the maha-mantra i just can't most of the time. I feel that if i chant being angry the chant isn't effective, in fact i feel that is offensive in some way to chant in that state of mind, i feel that i must not chant in that situation.
I suppose in cases like mine one just have to suffer until the bad reactions of previous lifes are consumed, and the spiritual development is in some way checked because one really have to suffer the reactions. To be more graphic, people who are in hell can't chant the maha-mantra or perform devotional service, because the reactions are so strong, so terrible that they don't have a minimum of mental peace required. Very often i feel like if i were in hell in this aspect. I haven't been a bad person in this life, but i only can explain my personal situation recognizing that i must have done very bad things in previous lifes.
I suppose my only option is to chant when i can and try to survive, because i have to suffer. I hope the reactions ends some day, in some life.
What can you tell me?