Dear learned astrologers & other forum members,
Last Tuesday (27.01.09) I happened to face the biggest crisis of my life when I found out that my wife had been having an affair with her old boyfriend since Nov./Dec. 2008. And from 6-7 Jan. to 16 Jan. stayed with him in a hotel in our town when I was told that she was visiting her friend in another city while I was taking care of our daughter (almost 3 years old). She has been acting very weirdly since Oct. 2008 when this boyfriend first took contact after 10 years through Facebook and I was told about this incident but I didn't mind as they wanted to be just friends. Now I am told that this developed to be something else as we have been having a tough marriage (I partly agree to that!) and we have been talking divorce and she was so weak and all this and this guy from her past told her that he never forgot her and was always looking for her. She says in her eyes our relationship has been over since last 1-2 years and she has been suffering in our marriage. I understand that as I have been depressed for last 3 years and been very angry on her all the time (called her names many times) but for me it was not over.
Her boyfriend lives in Israel, is married and has a son (1 year old). And we live in a European country (I don’t want to disclose the location). I am an Indian and my wife is from this country where we live. She is the love of my life and I never had any girlfriend before her so this hurts very much. She is a nice and very kind girl and loves my family in India like no other western girl could. She shows understanding that I need to help my family in India (buying house, arranging sister marriages and supporting with monthly expenses). She is very skilled in foreign languages and even learned my mother tongue and Hindi for me and my family's sake without I or my family ever asked for it. The worst part is that we have a daughter and this is going to affect her future. We both love our daughter beyond anything and neither of us wants to leave her alone with the other. So my wife wants us to be separated and that we take care of her 50%-50%. But being an Indian this seems to very unnatural for me in spite of that I have been living in this country for last 7 years where this is very normal. This also mean that we have to sell our big flat in this bad market (most probably in loss) and rent/buy 2 separate little flats.
When I found about her affair I felt like taking my own life but I know that I have to live for my daughter and my family back in India as they all depend on me, so I called to my father in law who lives in a different country to come and help us saving our marriage. He is into psychology and we share a very good relationship almost like father-son that I don’t have with my own father. He came very next day and talked to both of us separately as well as in group where we discussed several issues in our marriage for 3-4 days. The conclusion is that we both partly want to work on our marriage and partly don’t trust each other. She says that she noticed a big change in my behavior since 4-5 weeks as I started taking care of our daughter much more and helping in household things and sees a hope but is still afraid of my anger and after this affair she will have to live with guilt in this marriage. She still has some feelings for that guy but knows that they can never live together and have any future (at least that is what she says). Her father concludes that this guy is just a flu not a cancer. I, on my part, am not sure if I ever can trust her back as wife and love her the way I am supposed to as I am feeling deeply hurt and I never thought that she could deceive me.
Here is where I need HELP! I am attaching mine, my wife’s and daughter’s horoscope screenshots. I am using Jagannatha Hora ver 7.32 and can attach more screenshots if needed, but I don’t want to share birth place details in open forum.
I have been through mahadasha of Mars for last seven years and this will end in this month when Rahu’s mahadasha will start. Mars is my yogakaraka (Leo ascendant) and it is vargottama in D-9, D-10 and some other divisional charts. The mahadasha of Mars has been great as it gave me residence in Europe, marriage, study at university here, a daughter, IT job in a esteemed company and a flat (with bank loan). So the question is: was this the best period of my life? Am I going to remain successful? Should I get separated/divorced as soon as possible because Rahu’s mahadasha is starting soon and could give me troubles? Or should I do my best to save my marriage? I have been deceived in Mars-Moon dasha and was told that I should be careful during this time but I didn’t grasp it properly and now I am regretting. I have been told to wear Ruby, Coral and yellow sapphire. I know that ruby should be worn in ring finger in right hand, yellow sapphire should be worn in index finger in right hand but I am confused about coral. Should it be worn in left hand medium finger? What about if I get ruby or yellow sapphire in pendant? What about 12 mukhi rudraksha pendant for making my langa lord sun strong?
There is kalsarpa yoga in my wife’s chart and she is undergoing Moon’s mahadasha (2004-07-14 - 2014-07-14) and had this affair in Saturn’s antardasas (2008-10-15 - 2010-05-12) and was with him in Saturn’s pratyanardasa (2008-10-15 – 2009-01-12) and Jupiter’s sookshma-antardasa (2008-12-31 – 2009-01-12). I know that her moon is afflicted with Saturn, mars and venus in sixth house. She has been suffering mentally since Oct. 2008 and has not been herself. And I know that she couldn’t have done what she did if her mind was in control and I could feel it that something was wrong with her all this time. Is there any remedy I can do to lessen her problems (bear in mind that I am not in India so there are certain things that I can’t do).
I would appreciate all kind of help as I am clueless what to do next, my whole world is upside down. If more information is needed, please let me know. Big thanks in advance!