Ragalekha

Usually we are drawn to the place where we feel the most nourished and fulfilled within. Then there is the question though, of what is it inside of us that we actually want to be nourished. If we are introspective and look deep inside of ourselves, with a willingness to confront our own motivation behind the endeavors we make, we will be able to see what is truly our necessity and where that purpose can be fulfilled. What we are on the inside, ultimately reflects outside of us in our environment with the people we associate with, hence we create our own world/association by our very state of consciousness and desire. If one truly desires to know their relationship with Sri Gaura Nityananda, and Sri Sri Radha Krsna, then the Lord within the heart (Paramatma), will guide one to the topmost level of Guru (an Uttama adhikari). If you do not really want exclusive devotion or prema-bhakti for Sri Radha Krsna, then it is something else that you want to be nourished either subtle or gross (such as acceptance, recognition, fame, adoration, material relationships, intellectual stimulation, wealth etc.). There are many types of devotees and all sorts of Gurus who can fulfill these desires. It is really up to you to decide whether or not you want a Spiritual Master who will give you the highest most rare gift of pure loving devotion (prema-bhakti) for Sri Sri Radha-Krsna. Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayan Goswami Maharaja is not an ordinary personality. If you are fortunate to have the opportunity to meet him, then by all means you should take this very rare, and perhaps only chance that you will get. The strength of having an empowered personality as Guru, who is an eternal associate of Sri Radha-Krsna, can genuinly nourish one at every moment. Such strength (bala) is given by the support of such a Guru. However, it is very rare to receive even a small connection with such a personality. Only after sincere hankering for advancement in bhakti will Sri Krsna lead a person to His very near and dear servant - the pure devotee of the Lord. Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayan Maharaj wants help those who are eager to be Krsna-Consciousness and who want to develop pure love for Sri Sri Radha Krsna. Those of his disciples who actually follow his instructions and take shelter of him, advance very quickly on the path of bhakti. If one is sincere in this process of bhakti-yoga, they will receive such a Guru and will be empowered by him to dedicate at least 16 rounds of chanting the Hare Krsna Maha-mantra each day. It is natural to feel a lack of determination and strength to chant 16 rounds every day without this. Especially we will find that our chanting becomes more tasteful and easier when we have the intimate guidance of a pure devotee of the Lord and take initiation from him. However, we must show our sincerity and gratitude to the Lord by making a decision to gradually increase our chanting and devotion. It is the quality of the chanting that should be given more focus than the quantity. Not to say that it's not important to chant a regular number of rounds. Srila Narayan Maharaja wants his disciples to be chanting at least 16 rounds before getting second initiation (diksa). In the beginning (harinam inititation) he will advice the disciple to chant a certain number of rounds according to their capacity with the aim of increasing them. He wants that we should learn to chant with complete attention. It is Krsna whom we are inviting to come into our hearts by calling His name, and he says that "we should chant with love and affection, having so much honour and regard". We should be chanting while being conscious of WHO it is that we are calling out to - searching for the Lord in our heart. I sincerely wish you all the best in your search for pure bhakti. There are many groups of sincere devotees in the world no matter what external institution they may be joined to. We are all part of the one family of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Sometimes you may find help from the disciples of Srila Narayan Maharaj, sometimes from the disciples of Srila Prabhupada, or sometimes from the disciples of Srila Bhakti Rakshak Sridhar Maharaja (Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math), or any of the other pure Guru's who have graced the Western world with pure transcendental wisdom. We should not restrict ourselves with the consciousness of joining a particular group or 'institution', as we are all Gaudiya Vaishnavas.