pingnell

Much thanks Pablo, I don't understand what you mean by "indications for the mother are not good". Does it mean my mother could have some problems? Or are we talking about the divine mother of all? Also, does it mean I have the 'dosha' then? Am I Manglik? Can you please tell me which finger I should I wear these rings? Regards S

Namasthe to all the learned astrologers, I am a 32 yr. old woman, beautiful inside and out, and accomplished in academics and sports and many other hobbies; I come from a respectable middle class family that stresses on education, mental and physical discipline, along with refined values especially of not hurting another soul, no matter what the reason may be. I have been naively and ideally following this, even though it doesn't fit into this world or times anymore. I got divorced last year, after serving my husband for 5 years with all my love, devotion and sacrifices of career, friends, my comforts, etc., despite the emotional abuse I got in return. I worked very hard because I grew up believing that heaven for a lady is her husband's happiness because my mother works very hard for my father and he in turn respects and loves her. I never shared my marital problems with anyone becasue I wanted everyone to be happy. So I kept adjusting and understanding my husband more and tried to fit into the wife he desired, even though most times it was sheer contradiction. But after 5 years, my health, my life, my happiness was crumbling down as I couldn't withstand such a harsh negative environment, and finally my family noticed and gave me strength to stand up and walk away, and I did. Things haven't been looking up since then. For more details, please read my post: Search for it under thread: 'mantras regarding obtaining wealth'. I'm beginning to doubt if this is something to do with my horoscope. A very learned man in India said something about my 'kuja' being strong and that it could be misinterpreted by many as a dosha. That an astrologer should be careful to read this properly. I have no clue or understanding of all this... either with charts, or 'houses', etc. I don't know what it all means. Can you please tell me if and when I can find my love and wealth in this life. My birth date is: June 9, 1976. Was born in Hyderabad, India. I'm not sure if the birth time is 8:55 or 8:03. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Regards S

Dear Ram/Warrior88, Thanks again for your thoughts. I hear you... taking advantage of our daily sleep, brilliant! I recite: "aim, shree, gam, bam" every night; I'm trying to utter it as soon as I wake up, though sometimes my thoughts/deductions of things happening around me sometimes manage to take over. But I'm trying to stop the rumination and focus on 'what needs to be done now'. With all your warm wishes here on this site, hopefully I will recover sooner than usual. Sending my gratitude to all the souls that tried to reach out to me. Much love -S

Dear Durgaputra, I appreciate your advice and time. I will try to find a guru amidst my other survival urgencies... should be able to seek them out in a Temple. Warm Regards -S

Dear Ram.warrior88 ji, Namaste. Thank you for your response, time and concern. But I'm saying the Kama Gayatri mantra and not Kali Mantra. So I don't know if I should continue doing Kama Gayatri mantra and not stop abruptly like this. If so, I don't know if I can club the mantra that you gave me with it. As I await your reply, I will continue what I have been doing. I am trying to find my peace and composure in all of this because I remind myself that my body could be mine, but I have no right to make my soul suffer which I have always felt is a direct manifestation of the central existence of all things and being. I keep reminding myself of this all the time. I listen to Shiva Tandava strotam too every morning along with Kali maatha's 'Ayigiri nandini'. BTW, Kaali maatha is my ishta devata not because I chose but it just happened that way. When I was about 12 years old, Durga maatha appeared in my dreams 3 consecutive days. In the dream, she walked out of the framed picture that we had stored in the attic and spent time with me... played with me. Later I came to know that my Kula Devatha is Amba Bhawani. I have dreamt of Ganesha too about 5 years ago. And all of these dreams appear without any specific message or event. They are just random. I never shared this with anyone except my grandpa and my mother because back then I didn't want people to think I'm making things up. But I'm sharing this with you so that you can guide me better if I gave you all the information. BTW, I'm a Madhwa and descendant of Vashishta Gotra. Warm regards

Hello Helpsurvive, There is no response/communication from his side so far. But I have been improving because of the conviction that I have done and doing everything from my side. Well definitely let you know if things change in any way. Regards and warm wishes

Dear Ajay Sharma, Namaste. Please read my story: I am a 33 year old beautiful lady in and out and accomplished in academics and sports and other hobbies, I grew up in an ideal, simple, middle class family that gave me lot of love and education as I'm the only daughter. I got divorced last year, after serving my husband for 5 years with all my love, devotion and sacrifices of career, friends, my comforts, etc., despite the emotional abuse I got in return. I worked very hard because I grew up believing that heaven for a lady is her husband's happiness because my mother works very hard for my father and he in turn respects and loves her. I never shared my marital problems with anyone becasue I wanted everyone to be happy. So I kept adjusting and understanding my husband more and tried to fit into the wife he wanted, even though most times it was contradictory. But after 5 years, my health, my life, my happiness was crumbling down as I couldn't withstand such a harsh negative environment, and finally my family noticed and tried everything to save my marriage. And finally gave me strength to stand up and walk away, and I did. Later, I could deal with my life, spring back up again with my confidence, with the help of a friend, an angel who respected me, reminded me how special I was, and kept me in high regard because he thought women like me were rare. He slowly fell in love with me and I liked him too. And we were perfect for each other. And when he professed his desire to marry me, I asked him to give me a little time, because I was jobless and I wanted to get my family's blessings and his' since our families are of different religions, and educational background, though his and my spirituality and belief of God are same. And most importantly because it hasn't even been completely a year since my divorce... I don't know how this religion and educational gap would affect my parents, so I wanted to space it out so that I can meet my parents in person when I have enough money to make the trip and have them meet him and be open about everything and take their permission. But my fiance (I don't like using the term boyfriend... it's kinda loose for the depth of love I have for this man) somehow is threatened by me, he slowly got insecured and started doubting me because an accomplished, beautiful woman would not be with a man like him. He thinks I'm beautiful enough to have any man and that's why when I get a better option later, I will just leave him. He has fallen so deep in love with me that he feels that I will make him a puppet, he is scared that I will manipulate him and cheat on him. I don't know what kind of women he has seen, been with growing up in NY, but I grew up in India before coming here, and I come from a family where we women have only one man in our heart any given time and such thoughts are extremely disturbing. I assured him many times that I may be modern in my talk and appearance, but deep down I'm very traditional in goals and desires in my life. That all I want is a happy husband and kids, and a happy family his and mine... not money, not status, but a life full of love and laughter. I want a husband that I can see my God in, that I can serve, love, and spend my old age with. But he just kept "observing" me, "analyzing" and "calculating" my every move, my every sentence, my every reaction and kept connecting the wrong dots. No matter what I said or did wouldn't change him, He kept doubting me more and more even though I moved to his city, without a job (I got busy searching for one), no friends, I trusted him. But one day he just cried and cried saying I was hurting him and left accusing me of all the things he imagined. I reacted, fought with him and assured him in cycles as I panicked and didn't know how to stop him from that negative path. But he left, he won't talk to me, call me, because he thinks I manipulate him with my love because he has fallen deep. And he is accusing me of hurting him and his core. I have tried everything, from reasoning, pleading fighting to begging, but all in vain. He just left me for good. Now I'm heartbroken, lost my health, my hope, my trust, my motivation, my desire for another marriage in life. I don't think I can give my heart or body to another man. I JUST CAN'T, I WON"T in this life. I have accepted him as my husband in my heart and mind and surviving each day with my drying financial funds. Then in my spiritual quest to heal my soul, amidst my chakra meditation, I came across the Kama Gayatri mantra. And out of desperation to win my fiance back, I started chanting it every night 108 times before sleeping to be done 40 days straight. I have done 10 days already, be doing my 11th day today. But then I saw your post about the harmful consequences. I'm confused and broke. Please help me. I don't have enough money right now. But I'm not a cheat, I will definitely send you or the Guru 'dakshina' as soon as I land a job to survive here. My family and I have never hurt a soul in our life. We have always been naively good and giving to all the people in our life. Sometimes to the extent that people took advantage of our nicety. Then why is God punishing me like this? I have worked hard and did more than expected from a wife... twice. What's happening? Is this what is Kali Yuga? Am I supposed to change into those mean, selfish women out there, and would things then start happening in my life? I am confused. And any other soul out there that can help me, please feel free. I'm in a lot of pain in life right now on all levels... emotionally, psychologically, health wise, loneliness in a new city, and financially, he urged me to move and we had agreed to share all expenses together, but now he left and took his money that he invested because he thinks I cheated. If you are not interested to reply, that's fine but you really don't have to pick on an already beaten down soul. I'm not begging for monetary help, but I am begging for any knoweldge that can help my fiance see my love and devotion for him. I don't know if I'm being naive, I am against walls here, so trying everything that I can think of. Regards -S