The occasional joke or two - before we take ourselves too seriously

[Guest guest]

The jokes are compiled from various sources - my acknowledgement and

thanks to the various authors.

 

 

--------------------------------

 

There were two monks in a monastery doing their daily rituals. They

were about to bow to their deity. One got on his knees and said, "Oh

master, I am nothing, I don't exist, all there is, is You." The next

monk bowed down even lower and said, "Oh great one, I am less than

nothing! I don't exist and I never did. You are all there is!"

 

In the corner a janitor was sweeping the temple and watching the

monks. He thought to himself, "Hmmm, that looks pretty good! I think

I'll try that." He walked over to the deity and bowed while the monks

watched him. He said, "Oh mighty one, I too am nothing, you are

everything." As the two monks looked on with disdain, one said to the

other, "Humph! How dare he! Look who thinks he's nothing!"

 

------------------------------

 

What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his

home selling vacuum cleaners?

 

 

 

"Too many attachments! "

 

----------------------------

[Guest guest]

I love the jokes; especially the one about the yogi and the vacuum cleaner salesman.

"Latha Nanda" <lathananda >

Wed, 05 Nov 2003 04:59:27 -0000

The occasional joke or two - before we take ourselves too seriously

The jokes are compiled from various sources - my acknowledgement and

thanks to the various authors.

--------------------------------

There were two monks in a monastery doing their daily rituals. They

were about to bow to their deity. One got on his knees and said, "Oh

master, I am nothing, I don't exist, all there is, is You." The next

monk bowed down even lower and said, "Oh great one, I am less than

nothing! I don't exist and I never did. You are all there is!"

In the corner a janitor was sweeping the temple and watching the

monks. He thought to himself, "Hmmm, that looks pretty good! I think

I'll try that." He walked over to the deity and bowed while the monks

watched him. He said, "Oh mighty one, I too am nothing, you are

everything." As the two monks looked on with disdain, one said to the

other, "Humph! How dare he! Look who thinks he's nothing!"

------------------------------

What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his

home selling vacuum cleaners?

"Too many attachments! "

----------------------------

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[Guest guest]

What is God?

 

A little boy was curious about God , and he was talking to his mother

about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's

mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not

black or white." To which the child responded, "Well, then is God

Michael Jackson?"

 

----------------

 

 

An old American woman took it upon herself to travel to Nepal to meet

with this famous guru. Her friends tried to dissuade her, saying that

the trip was long and arduous, and with her varicose veins it could

mean real trouble. They could not talk her out of it, however. So,

she made her preparations and set out. It began with a 36-hour flight

on Air India with four stopovers, followed by 2 hours on a rickety

propeller plane from W.W.I. Then a ride on a cog railway. Then a 2-

day trek in a camel caravan over icy mountain paths. She was half

dead when she reached the guru's village. There she learned that it

would be perhaps ten days before she could have an audience with the

guru because so many seekers had come to see him. She was also told

that when she entered the guru's tent, she would only be allowed to

speak five words, since the guru was so busy. So, she rested and

prepared, all the while trying to choose her five words carefully.

Finally, the day came. Into the tent she went and seated herself on

the hard stool facing the guru. And then she leaned over and

spoke: "Enough already, Sheldon, come home.

 

----------------

 

Have you heard of the cow who attained liberation (Moksha)?

It was dyslexic and kept on repeating OOOOMMM !

 

----------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

, "Latha Nanda" <lathananda>

wrote:

> The jokes are compiled from various sources - my acknowledgement

and

> thanks to the various authors.

>

>

> --------------------------------

>

> There were two monks in a monastery doing their daily rituals. They

> were about to bow to their deity. One got on his knees and

said, "Oh

> master, I am nothing, I don't exist, all there is, is You." The

next

> monk bowed down even lower and said, "Oh great one, I am less than

> nothing! I don't exist and I never did. You are all there is!"

>

> In the corner a janitor was sweeping the temple and watching the

> monks. He thought to himself, "Hmmm, that looks pretty good! I

think

> I'll try that." He walked over to the deity and bowed while the

monks

> watched him. He said, "Oh mighty one, I too am nothing, you are

> everything." As the two monks looked on with disdain, one said to

the

> other, "Humph! How dare he! Look who thinks he's nothing!"

>

> ------------------------------

>

> What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to

his

> home selling vacuum cleaners?

>

>

>

> "Too many attachments! "

>

> ----------------------------

[Guest guest]

Latha Nanda <lathananda > wrote:

What is God? A little boy was curious about God , and he was talking

to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the

little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman,

and God is not black or white." To which the child responded, "Well,

then is God Michael Jackson?"

----------------An old American

woman took it upon herself to travel to Nepal to meet with this

famous guru. Her friends tried to dissuade her, saying that the trip

was long and arduous, and with her varicose veins it could mean real

trouble. They could not talk her out of it, however. So, she made her

preparations and set out. It began with a 36-hour flight on Air India

with four stopovers, followed by 2 hours on a rickety propeller plane

from W.W.I. Then a ride on a cog railway. Then

a 2-day trek in a camel caravan over icy mountain paths. She was half

dead when she reached the guru's village. There she learned that it

would be perhaps ten days before she could have an audience with the

guru because so many seekers had come to see him. She was also told

that when she entered the guru's tent, she would only be allowed to

speak five words, since the guru was so busy. So, she rested and

prepared, all the while trying to choose her five words carefully.

Finally, the day came. Into the tent she went and seated herself on

the hard stool facing the guru. And then she leaned over and spoke:

"Enough already, Sheldon, come

home.----------------Have you heard

of the cow who attained liberation (Moksha)?It was dyslexic and kept

on repeating OOOOMMM !

------------------- In

,

"Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote:> The jokes are compiled from

various sources - my acknowledgement and > thanks to the various

authors.> > >

--------------------------------> >

There were two monks in a monastery doing their daily rituals. They >

were about to bow to their deity. One got on his knees and said, "Oh >

master, I am nothing, I don't exist, all there is, is You." The next >

monk bowed down even lower and said, "Oh great one, I am less than >

nothing! I don't exist and I never did. You are all there is!"> > In

the corner a janitor was sweeping the temple and watching the >

monks. He thought to himself, "Hmmm, that looks pretty good! I think

> I'll try that." He walked over to the deity and bowed while the

monks > watched him. He said, "Oh mighty one, I too am nothing, you

are >

everything." As the two monks looked on with disdain, one said to the

> other, "Humph! How dare he! Look who thinks he's nothing!"> >

------------------------------> >

What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his >

home selling vacuum cleaners? > > > > "Too many attachments! "> >

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