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"NILACALA"

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kailasa

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"NILACALA"

 

"There is no way to see this ocean"s bank..."

 

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Contents:

 

Invaluable gifts.

When at least will come this day?

Nilachala

Chintamani dhama

Madhumangala

The God of Love and the God of parting

Don&'t try to see

You are no one

The description of autumn

The real wealth

The madness

Monkeys!!

An ode to impersonal Brahman

The dog's devotion

The strength gradation

The ISKCON planet

 

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INVALUABLE GIFTS.

 

 

"Who can be more ideal then such couple as Radha and Krishna?

All devotees and the nature itself is assisting this union"

 

 

Falling of the soul into the material world is undoubtedly a deep drama. But how much deeper is the drama of Gaura lila?

 

Lord Caitanya, being uttama adhikari, sees everyone as his friend. He sees even suffering, determining soul as his ally.

 

Having started preaching, Lord Caitanya was full of happiness, but gradually He started understanding that He could not reach God.

 

Day and night he experience this state -

"Oh the determining soul! We are fellow-sufferers, and I can't forget about my disaster, and that is my bad luck"

 

In spite of the soul oblivion, the primordial reason for material sufferings and the truth life oblivion is in heart of everyone. The soul's sufferings in the material world are deep but can they be compared with the sufferings of Lord Caitanya?

 

Lord Caitanya looks for a refuel everywhere. How, in which way this magic circle can be broken?

 

How well He understands a living creature in this meaning! God understands the problem of each of them, experiencing his boundless emotion, in the endless scores of times and that is one of the reasons for His unexampled blessing.

 

"Oh, Lord Krishna, You are the ocean of the compassion! We all have hope here, but does Sri Caitanya have this hope?"

 

We can consign to some oblivion our sufferings, but Lord Caitanya never forgets God.

 

We also can be happy serving to Krishna and understanding our connection with God, but Lord Caitanya feels every moment his farness from God.

 

All world serve to God, but the gold moon only drops tears like diamonds.

 

"Oh, Radha, now all the past brings only pain to You. All Vrindavan now became a source of sufferings. What can be more unbearable then the gone happiness and the feeling of complete impotence?"

 

"Dusty streets and peacocks probably sympathize You, but is it really possible to give some relief?"

 

However, trying to understand you a person usually starts forgetting the rest things. The person forgets his sufferings, as they are now very considerable.

 

-

 

How much are we attached to those, who are dear to us? Maybe we can express our happiness, but how much deeper and inexpressible the sorrow of loss?

 

And material world again and again immerses us in this sorrow and gradually it shows us its primordial reason.

 

We discover the reason of our compassion in leaving the One, who was the closest to us. And after this, our happiness grows day after day. But then we discover even deeper reason and the primordial source of sufferings - that is those "sufferings"which are the form of spiritual happiness. And as the spiritual sufferings are the primordial source of all spiritual happiness, Lord Caitanya accepted this mood forever.

 

There is nothing eternal in the material world. That is why there is an expression, which calms our heart very good: "Lord Caitanya is being in this mood eternally". When we at least a little realize the essence of these emotions, we get in this way also an eternal refuge. And absolutely in the same way the person realize the deepest essence of the spiritual world and the spiritual life.

 

--

 

Nevertheless, having being ignorant for so long, I understand perfectly that sufferings can be the source of happiness. I feel much worry about this. There are so many people, who are happy, and only I always have problems in the spiritual life. Some invisible power breaks plan after plan.

 

I was so happy in the Krishna's Conscious! But where had it gone? I am confused. And I simply do not have other choice! I understand quite clear that there is no choice, and I continue going along.

 

At some moment a person start realizing how far he is from God. Now this distance somehow gives rise to confidence. This remoteness makes the devotee stable and creates many other qualities.

 

That is how the devotee gets two gifts.

 

The first gift if the experience of the direct relations. The second one is spiritual experience, when Lord Caitanya folly makes him his "confidant"(it is obvious that the reason for this is in the pure Caitanya's love to God).

 

--

 

Moods, meetings and partings alternate in the Krishna lila, but there are no meetings in the Gaura lila.

 

This ocean of Lord Caitanya ecstasy is dark because of the satiety. And there is no way to see any bank of this ocean.

 

Only Lord Chaytana owns it. This maha bhava ocean absorbed Him so that He never leaves this mood.

 

Huge waves roll over the ocean creating many changes in Lord Caitanya's body.

 

There is no limit of happiness in the meeting! And there is no limit for the parting too. God is the only reason for happiness in the meeting, but there is also endless number of reasons for happiness in parting.

 

Thus Krishna fills everything with happiness, even the material world comes to be the source of endless happiness in the Krishna Conscious and in the mood of Lord Caitanya.

 

So, Lord Caitanya and His devotees are always preaching, traveling in material worlds without seeing a difference between them.

 

In some meaning, the material life is more suitable for this. Probably because it is said in Shikshastaka "life after life". I do not think it is some literary decoration. Surely, I again want to ask or even to pray Krishna to make this life the last one (oh, how not much it is - one life).

 

That is why such uttama adhikari in the mood of Lord Caitanya, like Shrila Prabhupada, knows everything in the perfect way. They do not make any mistakes at all. I did not believed such things before, but uttama, knowing totally everything, has a special vision, which is all spiritual and correct. The only thing is that the uttama adhikari is hard to understand.

 

Such mood makes person uncompromising to any digression (oh, my God), which can be seen in Lord Caitanya (He had only 3,5 close companions). Though Paramananda Puri was so strong that Lord Caitanya took from him a refuge. Eight sanniasi are the roots of the great Lord Chaytana's tree and the main, central root of this tree is Paramananda Puri.

 

We can try to guess how much Lord Caitanya was thankful to Paramananda Puri. We can only try to guess about the limits of Shrila Paramananda's power and qualities.

 

This mood makes person uncompromising to any digressing; it can be seen on the example of Shrila Prabhupada, who just expelled all categories of materialists from the material world.

 

----------------------

 

Shrila Prabhupada about the mood of Lord Caitanya:

 

"I'm so unhappy, I can't serve to Krishna."

 

"I can't see him and have no chance to see Him".

 

"Not giving me any meeting, You kill me. You destroy my heart. But anyway You are my God and no one else".

 

"Krishna won't come. I won't see Krishna for thousands and thousands births. I may be in this horrible state life after life, but it doesn't matter. I won't leave the Krishna Conscious"

 

"You may send me to the paradise or to the hell - it doesn't matter. I will anyway remember You".

 

"I have no qualification so I have nothing to be sorry about".

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When will indeed the day come and I will come back to the spiritual world?

 

Having seen the true reality, the feelings will come to their senses.

 

And hearing voices in the distance, really, only then I will understand what the world "native".

 

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There are many things, that can be called achintya -"incomprehensible", but who has written so skillfully the picture of the spiritual world?

 

The Greatness of God is incomprehensible and the primordial beauty is even more immeasurable.

 

Rising and falling from the rushed up feelings, would I see the source of all this beauty? Sure, only in this case the eternal spiritual wish will be granted.

 

-----------------------------

 

The magnificence of all existing always goes with the inscrutable finesse. However, the finesse of the spiritual world only fulfills the primordial Personality. And all the magnificence comes from the primordial attraction of God.

 

The splendor permeates through everything! And the echo of it exists - that is the material world.

 

The splendor rests upon the power of God - the splendor amazes! And it doesn't have any limits!

 

However the splendor is not the full essence.

 

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There is a darshan, in which's nature concentrated the immateriality, supernatural attraction of God. Again and again a personality experiences happiness and the comprehension immediately wakes up. All the feelings experience the dawn and spontaneously come to the culmination - become one feeling, and the soul directly absorbs the happiness of the spiritual beauty.

 

That is the real life and that is what everyone is looking for, and that is the Absolute Truth! Such is the expansion of the Lord Caitanya.

 

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About the meditation -

 

The mind cannot understand the nature of the inscrutable delicacy. The imperfect mind tries to catch up the perfect image, but thanks to the wish, only the shadow of the reality brings happiness, as even a small piece of success takes away lots of hesitations and as even a little success is a part of non-dual reality. Later on I will give up the artificial meditation as I will get the more perfect faith. Later on I will give up the artificial meditation for making it more perfect.

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  • 1 month later...

Nilacala

 

How cruelly the time is lasting.

 

An endless night.

 

Has is at least any gleam of light?

 

The time has stopped within the gambhir’s walls. But the heavenly shine lights Nilacala.

 

Lord Caytanya awakes the day, but later everything drops in the darkness, and some unknown power drags Him to the ocean.

 

“Oh, ocean! Are you so great to be compared with Shri Chaytanya’s feelings?!”

 

However the glimmer of the dark waves in the Moon’s light makes him beautiful.

 

And there, on the other bank, suddenly a wonderful landscape appears –

The summer is at its height. The birds are singing, from the dust raised by cows two boys appears. Yes! Yes! They are on that bank!

Lord Caytanya headily runs to the ocean – “There, there stands Krishna!”

Lord Caytanya plunges into the water. Can an ocean be an obstacle to Him?!

 

The vision suddenly disappears.

 

---------------------

 

This ocean is darker then a night can be, but the golden reflection on the wave crest makes him wonderful.

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When will the day come and I will be free from the attachment and enmity and I will reach the Navadvipa?

 

Oh, Lord Nityananda! He leads the great devotion kirtan, changing simple earth into Cintamani.

 

His glance fills everyone with happiness and His decoration's radiance makes His grandeur unique.

 

Dancing, He rotates a silver walking stick and the time slows down, giving a chance for everyone to watch the existent.

 

"Hari!! Hari!!" - sings loudly Lord Caytanya and like waves the sacred name rolls through the endless ocean of the devotees.

 

Just as Sun and Moon, two brothers came down from the sky -

 

"He Krishna, karuna sindhu" - You are the immutable friends of the eternally distressed inhabitants of the material world,

 

"Gopesha gopika kanta!" - the masters of Vrindavan's Goloka step on the Navadvipa's land!

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The greatest cause of the material world is Krishna or Lord Caytanya -

 

"eko vai narayana asin na brahma a ishano napo nagni samau... "

 

"In the beginning of the creation only the Supreme Personality existed. There were not either fire or Moon or starts in the sky or Sun..."

 

The Vaikuntha's and Goloka Vrindavana's greatness come from the primordial personality - Lord Caytanya. And the perfect devotion to God also comes from Lord Caytanya. That is why everything comes from God and Primordial God is being in all moods at the same time.

 

Lord Caytanya is the ruler of all spiritual and material. Lord Caytanya is the embodiment of all devotion. And the Lord Caytanya is the supreme devotee.

 

Shining with gold, Lord Caytanya came with his friends' accompaniment and Lord Nityananda, dancing ecstatic with his eyes full of spiritual happiness, changes everything into the Cintamany dhama.

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  • 3 months later...

Madhumangala is a happily smiling brahman Goloka Vrindavana. He looks solid and surely like a perfect brahman. He can easily predict future. When somebody makes his first move, Madhumangala usually makes his fifth one.

 

And what I see. Two more are going beside him. These are certainly His friends and seem not to worry about anything, feeling absolute freedom. They ran away from mother Yasoda and at last became themselves - country boys. They had gone outdoors in order to find the biggest elephant and then to shove it through the eye of a needle. Or something in this manner /images/graemlins/smile.gif)

 

Madhumangala as a brahman and the Lord Balarama as the elder brother of Krishna are with a slightly proud air. The Lord Balarama is even a little haughty. A small plough on His shoulder suggests for some reason that He has extraordinary strength. Madhumangala is undoubtedly the incarnation of the perfect intelligence of the whole company.

 

It is a hot summer.

 

Splendid peacocks are busy in their conversation.

 

The sunshine fills blooming gardens with beauty.

 

These games will be unusual as always. It is felt that something will happen soon. And this something seems to be beyond everybody's comprehension. Along toward evening all the neighbourhood will be speaking about these new uncommon events. All gopis will learn about the happening and get together to look at their heroes again.

 

- Hey, Krishna! You are always in the company of Madhumangala. You probably think it can increase your godliness, don't you?

- But Madhumangala only makes himself out a Brahman. For sure Your behavior, Krishna, always leaves much to be desired just because of this.

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