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How to Get Free from Sex Desire

By Garuda das

Posted November 28, 2003

 

All glories to

Srila Prabhupada!

 

Dear assembled devotees,

 

I would like to share a practical way to help any sincere person become free from sex desire. I've been developing and sharing this method with great success for over 17 years. All you have to do is really want to. The rest is easy. This method is full of grace as well as personal mental/intellectual strengthening from wherever your starting point is. Please read on.

 

There are four aspects of sexual bad habits that we can all do without: personal/physical, mental (thinking about it), looking at others (or illicit material), and speaking about it (flirting). These habits have frightening implications to our devotional lives as well as our personal mental and physical health when they are harbored in our being as an acceptable form of enjoyment. Please try listening to this seriously. If people can rise above their sexual desires, they will feel their luster, confidence, and inner bliss increasing within themselves.

 

A married person can also benefit from this process. As we know, Srila Prabhupada asked us to, at bare minimum, keep sex life chaste and within marriage. However, he taught that the highest, the way devotees can keep it completely sacred, is to use married sex life only for procreation. For most of us, we must start the gradual progress towards this goal by keeping our mind, eyes, words, and deeds within the grhastha asram. Once the four kinds of sex are strictly confined within marriage, then gradually one can regulate them to the point of abstinence except for procreation.

 

In coming out of any especially dark place in regard to the four types of sex, first of all one has to be transparent. If we are to become transparent mediums of the Guru param-para, we have to practice and learn transparency. It doesn't matter whether one is a swami or an uninitiated beginner on the path of bhakti. To make progress, it is good to have what I call an accountability partner. That can be any devotee whom you feel you can reveal all of your thoughts to, any shortcomings you hope to rectify, or aspirations you wish to achieve on the path.

 

This person should preferably be a senior devotee who you feel is the most comfortable person to talk to about embarrassing matters with. With him or her, you share all these things, even steadily through life, and sometimes discuss how you are making marked progress. By being thoroughly honest and getting this person's help/blessings, you can make advance more rapidly towards Krishna's pleasure.

 

The other option is to hide your problems (especially the most dirty ones) in the closet, hoping that one day, after years of chanting you may get purified of the anartha (unwanted desire). This way is more difficult because in such a case, we go on pouring fuel on the fire of those secretly held desires as we hide them from others (by not talking about them). It's very purifying to the soul to have an accountability partner, and as we know, "Purity is the force."

 

Please note that there may be other things you wish to give up. Things like eating at karmi restaurants (that occasional pizza) and watching television and movies that do not tend toward enlightenment. There may be other small adjustments of personal choice, stuff like giving up coffee or other intoxicants, not eating too late, abstaining from refined sugar, getting a certain amount of exercise daily, etc.

 

Anything that your inspired intelligence says is good for devotional service is good to use in this quitting process (below) to bring these needed changes about. From my experience, however, it is good to keep things simple and start with the big root problematic thing, which we are talking about here: the four kinds of sex (speaking, thinking, looking, and doing).

 

Obviously, single persons and married persons have been mentioned here. But there are also those who are in the twilight zone: those thinking about getting married. So if you are single and agitated, with options open, this is good for you too. Think of it as an inner confidence builder. Being agitated sexually, acting on it in private, and looking for a spiritual partner is a counterproductive position. That is because attracting a partner requires genuine confidence. One will have a lot more confidence if one is full of luster, experiencing inner bliss, and free from the four types of sex.

 

The way to quit is to first choose a date around two months away. Find a holy day. It may be an appearance day of the Lord or of a pure devotee. Any special day will do. Just look at the Vaisnava calendar about two months away and see what jumps out. That is your blessed and special day. Pin that month up visibly and put a big X on that day.

 

For this example, since you are here reading now, we'll choose a wonderfully appropriate date: Wednesday, December 3. This is the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, and it is also Moksada Ekadasi. So, from this point on you begin to say this affirmation over and over and over: "On Wednesday, December 3, the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, I am going to give up the four kinds of sex: seeing, thinking, talking and doing."

 

This is the how an affirmation process of the deepest kind works: As often as you think about it, say it. Just as often, you must cry out for Krishna's mercy, so that you can receive His grace to become free. "I cannot do it by myself, Lord, please help me."

 

This must immediately follow your own affirmation as a jiva, and it should be cried out like a small child beseeching his or her mother.

 

We all know the story about the determination of the sparrow who set forth to get her eggs back from the sea. Because Garudadeva came to help in the task, it was possible. This stage in the world and in your life is a special and precarious time. Because of this, we must proceed seriously and find this determination within. If we do the affirmation hundreds of times per day, we will find our true strength and determination. When that happens, gradually our withered and atrophied intelligence will get a serious workout and be strengthened.

 

Also, if you pray for help with all your heart, Sri Krishna will be happy to help you during the affirmation and as you approach the promised day. The roots of these weeds in the heart have been cut back, cut back, and cut back, but not removed. Now it is time to cry out and beg Lord Sri Krishna to pull out the weeds.

 

This affirmation process builds up one's intelligence and works out all the tension that normally would be surrounding the struggle of quitting these things forever. Our goal is to bring our determination to such a strong point that our desire will be one with the desire of the Lord. The shower of nectar is the clearing stage that Lord Sri Krishna will grace you with on that day and that will remain with you. Expect it and be determined to experience a miracle on that day.

 

As you initially start the affirmation you may not feel the potency of the process, but about halfway through, the real you starts to feel it: "I am going to give up the four kinds of sex."

 

Then you will know something is working. Keep praying, and also think of all the important reasons behind this endeavor. Become introspective whenever possible. The intelligence needs this and will become increasingly fixed up as time goes by.

 

On the day you wake up, Sri Krishna will be with you, turning your old conceptions of pleasure upside down, turning that idea of happiness in this world inside out. Expect a miracle, a grand jewel. That jewel is grace coming from the smiling face of the Lord and His merciful glance. You will be free forever.

 

For those who are older, single, and still thinking about enjoying sex in this world, this process may clear your mind out to encourage the rest of you to desire only a renounced (vanaprashta) station in life.

 

At first, as you become free from these desires, maya's pull will seem almost nil. Then as time goes by, you will be dead below the belt, but the eyes may seem to be pulled to that vision, idea, talk and (hardly ever) thought of doing. At those times when the eyes (mainly it will be the eyes) are pulled towards that vision of the opposite sex, at that time one should immediately pray, "O Krishna, please bless this soul with pure devotion for You."

 

In this way, a constant change will be taking place. First your eyes will want to enjoy, but then you will be offering Krishna this thing that is not meant for your pleasure anyway. In this way, the mirror of the mind will be wiped with glass-cleaner each time dust tries to settle. Also, this is a great practice to increase one's compassion. Such compassion, once increased, doesn't need a supplemental push to fend maya away. It just flows naturally.

 

That's it in a nutshell. Please pick a day, say the affirmation millions of times, and pray very hard for deliverance. Write down this date on many pieces of paper, taping them up wherever you frequent. We cannot say the affirmation enough, nor should we minimize its great importance. This is a churning of the heart, bringing it to true reality. If the subconsciousness is not churned and this (smoldering, nasty, rascal) seed of sin is not given up for the pleasure of the Lord, we'll have to go on coveting enjoyment throughout many more lives for a very, very long time.

 

For those who preach and desire truly to aid Guru and Gauranga in the sankirtan mission, the pain of lust is an obvious obstacle. These are the people who will be most honest with themselves, no matter what dark hole their lust is living in. It is especially for them that I share this.

 

If you are kind of normal and almost desire spiritual freedom after reading this, please take up the affirmation and prayer process anyway, and see what it does. There's nothing to lose. Something good will certainly come from all that praying and churning. It is my experience that it really does work for anyone who does the affirmation and praying with all his or her heart and at all times, and this person, being fuller in the hope of reaching Krishna's pleasure, will realize that his or her lot in life is millions of times better.

 

May Sri Krishna bless those who read this. If anyone would like to email me and let me know that he or she is taking up this process, I'll be happy to pray for that person. Also, I hope that others will pass this around. Kali yuga is progressing. Surely Lord Sri Hari will appreciate and bless those devotees who will go an extra mile to make a difference and print this and share it with all the devotees in the temples. Please consider that there are many devotees who are stuck in dark places with all the allurements just one click away.

 

I do spiritual counseling. If there is any way I can serve you, please let me know.

 

Thank you for this opportunity to serve.

 

Much care.

 

Your servant,

Garuda dasa

 

Email:garudadasa@

 

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I would like to share a practical way to help any sincere person become free from sex desire. I've been developing and sharing this method with great success for over 17 years. All you have to do is really want to. The rest is easy. This method is full of grace as well as personal mental/intellectual strengthening from wherever your starting point is. Please read on.

 

There are four aspects of sexual bad habits that we can all do without: personal/physical, mental (thinking about it), looking at others (or illicit material), and speaking about it (flirting). These habits have frightening implications to our devotional lives as well as our personal mental and physical health when they are harbored in our being as an acceptable form of enjoyment. Please try listening to this seriously. If people can rise above their sexual desires, they will feel their luster, confidence, and inner bliss increasing within themselves.

 

A married person can also benefit from this process. As we know, Srila Prabhupada asked us to, at bare minimum, keep sex life chaste and within marriage. However, he taught that the highest, the way devotees can keep it completely sacred, is to use married sex life only for procreation. For most of us, we must start the gradual progress towards this goal by keeping our mind, eyes, words, and deeds within the grhastha asram. Once the four kinds of sex are strictly confined within marriage, then gradually one can regulate them to the point of abstinence except for procreation.

 

In coming out of any especially dark place in regard to the four types of sex, first of all one has to be transparent. If we are to become transparent mediums of the Guru param-para, we have to practice and learn transparency. It doesn't matter whether one is a swami or an uninitiated beginner on the path of bhakti. To make progress, it is good to have what I call an accountability partner. That can be any devotee whom you feel you can reveal all of your thoughts to, any shortcomings you hope to rectify, or aspirations you wish to achieve on the path.

 

This person should preferably be a senior devotee who you feel is the most comfortable person to talk to about embarrassing matters with. With him or her, you share all these things, even steadily through life, and sometimes discuss how you are making marked progress. By being thoroughly honest and getting this person's help/blessings, you can make advance more rapidly towards Krishna's pleasure.

 

The other option is to hide your problems (especially the most dirty ones) in the closet, hoping that one day, after years of chanting you may get purified of the anartha (unwanted desire). This way is more difficult because in such a case, we go on pouring fuel on the fire of those secretly held desires as we hide them from others (by not talking about them). It's very purifying to the soul to have an accountability partner, and as we know, "Purity is the force."

 

Please note that there may be other things you wish to give up. Things like eating at karmi restaurants (that occasional pizza) and watching television and movies that do not tend toward enlightenment. There may be other small adjustments of personal choice, stuff like giving up coffee or other intoxicants, not eating too late, abstaining from refined sugar, getting a certain amount of exercise daily, etc.

 

Anything that your inspired intelligence says is good for devotional service is good to use in this quitting process (below) to bring these needed changes about. From my experience, however, it is good to keep things simple and start with the big root problematic thing, which we are talking about here: the four kinds of sex (speaking, thinking, looking, and doing).

 

Obviously, single persons and married persons have been mentioned here. But there are also those who are in the twilight zone: those thinking about getting married. So if you are single and agitated, with options open, this is good for you too. Think of it as an inner confidence builder. Being agitated sexually, acting on it in private, and looking for a spiritual partner is a counterproductive position. That is because attracting a partner requires genuine confidence. One will have a lot more confidence if one is full of luster, experiencing inner bliss, and free from the four types of sex.

 

The way to quit is to first choose a date around two months away. Find a holy day. It may be an appearance day of the Lord or of a pure devotee. Any special day will do. Just look at the Vaisnava calendar about two months away and see what jumps out. That is your blessed and special day. Pin that month up visibly and put a big X on that day.

 

For this example, since you are here reading now, we'll choose a wonderfully appropriate date: Wednesday, December 3. This is the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, and it is also Moksada Ekadasi. So, from this point on you begin to say this affirmation over and over and over: "On Wednesday, December 3, the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, I am going to give up the four kinds of sex: seeing, thinking, talking and doing."

 

This is the how an affirmation process of the deepest kind works: As often as you think about it, say it. Just as often, you must cry out for Krishna's mercy, so that you can receive His grace to become free. "I cannot do it by myself, Lord, please help me."

 

This must immediately follow your own affirmation as a jiva, and it should be cried out like a small child beseeching his or her mother.

 

We all know the story about the determination of the sparrow who set forth to get her eggs back from the sea. Because Garudadeva came to help in the task, it was possible. This stage in the world and in your life is a special and precarious time. Because of this, we must proceed seriously and find this determination within. If we do the affirmation hundreds of times per day, we will find our true strength and determination. When that happens, gradually our withered and atrophied intelligence will get a serious workout and be strengthened.

 

Also, if you pray for help with all your heart, Sri Krishna will be happy to help you during the affirmation and as you approach the promised day. The roots of these weeds in the heart have been cut back, cut back, and cut back, but not removed. Now it is time to cry out and beg Lord Sri Krishna to pull out the weeds.

 

This affirmation process builds up one's intelligence and works out all the tension that normally would be surrounding the struggle of quitting these things forever. Our goal is to bring our determination to such a strong point that our desire will be one with the desire of the Lord. The shower of nectar is the clearing stage that Lord Sri Krishna will grace you with on that day and that will remain with you. Expect it and be determined to experience a miracle on that day.

 

As you initially start the affirmation you may not feel the potency of the process, but about halfway through, the real you starts to feel it: "I am going to give up the four kinds of sex."

 

Then you will know something is working. Keep praying, and also think of all the important reasons behind this endeavor. Become introspective whenever possible. The intelligence needs this and will become increasingly fixed up as time goes by.

 

On the day you wake up, Sri Krishna will be with you, turning your old conceptions of pleasure upside down, turning that idea of happiness in this world inside out. Expect a miracle, a grand jewel. That jewel is grace coming from the smiling face of the Lord and His merciful glance. You will be free forever.

 

For those who are older, single, and still thinking about enjoying sex in this world, this process may clear your mind out to encourage the rest of you to desire only a renounced (vanaprashta) station in life.

 

At first, as you become free from these desires, maya's pull will seem almost nil. Then as time goes by, you will be dead below the belt, but the eyes may seem to be pulled to that vision, idea, talk and (hardly ever) thought of doing. At those times when the eyes (mainly it will be the eyes) are pulled towards that vision of the opposite sex, at that time one should immediately pray, "O Krishna, please bless this soul with pure devotion for You."

 

In this way, a constant change will be taking place. First your eyes will want to enjoy, but then you will be offering Krishna this thing that is not meant for your pleasure anyway. In this way, the mirror of the mind will be wiped with glass-cleaner each time dust tries to settle. Also, this is a great practice to increase one's compassion. Such compassion, once increased, doesn't need a supplemental push to fend maya away. It just flows naturally.

 

That's it in a nutshell. Please pick a day, say the affirmation millions of times, and pray very hard for deliverance. Write down this date on many pieces of paper, taping them up wherever you frequent. We cannot say the affirmation enough, nor should we minimize its great importance. This is a churning of the heart, bringing it to true reality. If the subconsciousness is not churned and this (smoldering, nasty, rascal) seed of sin is not given up for the pleasure of the Lord, we'll have to go on coveting enjoyment throughout many more lives for a very, very long time.

 

For those who preach and desire truly to aid Guru and Gauranga in the sankirtan mission, the pain of lust is an obvious obstacle. These are the people who will be most honest with themselves, no matter what dark hole their lust is living in. It is especially for them that I share this.

 

If you are kind of normal and almost desire spiritual freedom after reading this, please take up the affirmation and prayer process anyway, and see what it does. There's nothing to lose. Something good will certainly come from all that praying and churning. It is my experience that it really does work for anyone who does the affirmation and praying with all his or her heart and at all times, and this person, being fuller in the hope of reaching Krishna's pleasure, will realize that his or her lot in life is millions of times better.

 

 

-----------------------

This is worth a good honest try to attain a state of blissful luster

and be free from lust once and for all

 

 

"should be cried out like a small child beseeching his or her mother"

 

this is the need of the crying soul who knows no other shelter than Sri Krishna

 

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what you are trying to do is not reasonable,

or practical or possible.

 

Sex desire will always be there in a healthy person,

it is built in,it comes with the package.

 

Why waste your time trying to suppress that which

you cannot ?

 

That is not the purpose of Bhakti,Bhakti means

not wasting your life being controlled by sex desire,

it doesn't require you to not desire sex,that is impossible.

 

Why would God create us as sexual beings only to insist

that we suppress our nature ?

 

The concept of regulated sex is there for those on the

path of Sadhana bhakti, The ideal is not that you need to

force or suppress sexual desire, the ideal is that

your life is meant for more then that of the animals,

the animals are focused on food,shelter,and sex.

 

The person living an unregulated life of unrestricted

sexuality will find it very difficult to become

self realized, the mind when focused on sex (as it is for most people), is agitated, and unable to focus on the Sadhana necessary to enter the realm of the perfected.

 

Hearing and absorbing and realizing necessary teachings,

the Bhakti Siddhanta ,from guru,shastra and sadhu becomes

extremely difficult unless ones mind is not distracted.

 

That is the purpose of regulated sexuality,you cannot

give up sex desire,trying to artificially create some

kind of reppressive system to hide from or avoid

women or men, is not the point, or even worse

will result in a purging and binging type of

life.

 

The faddist dieter will give up all tasty food,

then after a while the desire he is trying to repress

will become a hypnotic attraction,and he will binge,

eating ice cream,candy,cake, etc.

 

this kind of mentality is unhealthy,and leads to

the extreme opposite of the thing you are trying to avoid.

 

The Gaudiya Vaisnava attitude towards sex until

Sri Caitanya was liberal, Mahaprabhu wanted to

gain the respect of the Sankarites and the Jnanis,

the yogis etc, those kind of teachings were very popular

and insisted on denying the senses in order

to attain moksa,or mystic siddhis,or longevity and increased

intellect etc.

 

Before that time Jayadeva was the example of the

Vaisnava path,This was not respected by the

mass of Vedantists who believed in austerity

and renunciation,attaining desirelessness,

living in a cave or wandering around with a begging bowl

was seen as the highest and most effective means

of attaining enlightenment,or living life

as a sanyassa.

 

The Vaisnava style was the exact opposite,Renunciation

was introduced by Mahaprabhu solely to gain respect for

Bhakti yoga,by taking sanyassa he was able to gain that

respect ,by the Goswamis being renounced their writings

were given respect that they otherwise would not have

recieved.

 

But in fact Mahaprabhu held the association of

Jayadeva(his writings) and Ramananda Rai above everyone else,they were far from being renunciates, this was

in part to show that the real path is not about

repressing desire,it is about developing spiritual

consciousness,Bhakti is not about giving up,

it is about enhancing.

 

Those who believe that by some magical practice

or ritual,or by any material endeavor that they will

gain power or become superior are living in

illusion.

 

Trying to supress sex desire in order to become

better is missing the point, and is in the category

as those who follow the mystic path,the same delusion

is there.

 

That is the delusion of control,the delsuion of identifying

the self with the mind,the mind is not the person,

to think that by trying to force the mind to do

something that the self will gain benefit is delusional,

The self realized soul sees the mind for what it is,

it is always going here and there,he observes the mind

knowing that the mind is not the self,he knows the mind is under the control of God,and what the mind is

saying or desiring is not under his controll,

the self realized soul knows that he cannot control

anything, this mentality is the essence of self realization,freedom from delusion means knowing

that we are not the controllers,god is in control

of everything ,even the mind.

 

The propensity to lord it over comes from the delusion

that you can achieve some measure of control over

nature or your body,mind,or anything at all.

 

That is the basic delusion of the conditioned soul,Krsna says " from me

comes rememberance,forgetfullnes and knowledge",

the soul under the illusion of Maya doesn't

see the truth of our situation,he doesn't see

reality,only a false delsuional world where

he can control or influence,the perfected yogi

sees God,nothing is able to be controlled ,

nothing is free from the control of that of which it is made

of.

 

here is something from Srila Prabhupada.

 

 

 

 

 

In Bengal there are about five hundred rivers. All these rivers flow down water, to the ocean. But still, the ocean, the Bay of Bengal, is calm and quiet. Quiet. Similarly, for those who have become as full and as big as the ocean, material desires may come, but they are not disturbed. Although so many rivers are flowing down water, you won't see an inch of increase in the ocean. It keeps the same level. You can take any amount of water out of it, and you can pour any amount of water into it. The sea level is always the same. This example is given. Desires we must have. We cannot extinguish desires. It is foolishness to think that we can subdue desires. Desires are the symptoms of life. Let there be desires. If I have life and consciousness, then desire must also be there. Just as, when the water flows down from the rivers to the ocean, the ocean is not disturbed, so a person need not be disturbed by these desires. This is the art. This is the secret of the perfection of your life.

 

Desires may come, but if you are fixed with a proper understanding, you convert your desires. The whole process is to dovetail your desires with the Lord's. The example is that Arjuna desired not to fight, but after hearing Bhagavad Gita, his desire changed. He said, "Yes, I shall fight!" He desired to fight. So there was desire. The mode of desire was changed, that's all. Similarly, we cannot stop desiring. That is not possible. But we have to change the quality of the desire. That is all. It's not very difficult: I shall do this, I shall not do this. Bhagavad gita is meant to show us these things. Arjuna desired something before hearing Bhagavad Gita, and he desired something else after hearing Bhagavad Gita. The quality of desire changed. Similarly, by hearing the Gita you can change your desire. You don't have to stop your desire. You simply have to purify your desires. Then you'll not be disturbed by them. When your desires disturb you, you may know that you are not yet spiritually established. And when your desires enlighten you, enliven you, give you happiness--you may know that that desire is spiritual. Just as with Arjuna, the desire has to be changed.

 

Let desires be. Now, you can change the desires. Desire for Krishna. Don't desire for yourself. Desire for Krishna. How can I desire for Krishna? Take a practical example. Krishna came to this material world to call us; "My dear boys, please give up all your nonsensical engagements. Become a follower of Mine, and I shall protect you." This is Krishna's message. Now Bhagavad Gita is present, the message of Krishna. If you desire to preach this message of the Gita to the people of the world, that means you have changed your desire. And you can thereby purify yourself. There will be sufficient activities to execute the desire. But all those activities will be purified.

 

So, we don't have to stop our activities, nor our desires. But we have to dovetail them with the desires of the Lord, as Arjuna did. After dovetailing his desires with Sri Krishna's, his activities became more responsible. Just like a coward, he was refusing to fight. He was a KShatriya, a military man. His duty was to fight for a good cause. And what is a good cause? Sri Krishna instructed him to fight: "it is My plan." What can be a better cause than this? When the Supreme Personality of Godhead says that this is My wish, what can be more important? And what can be a better purpose, than one which is coming directly from the Supreme Personality of Godhead?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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what about when you experience a higher taste?

 

sex is a material desire, not spiritual unless used for having Krishna consious children, also krishna has sex desire which is spiritual of-cource, i am confuced of the 'higher' taste situation, can you explain this to me please--with krishna's as well. what i am saying is if i get a higher taste, then is that the end of sex life? we have to take up spiritual sex life, please forgive me for my ignorance..hare krishna.

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From Garuda dasa

Posted December 1, 2003

I need to make two adjustments. Can you change the word "counseling" towards the end of the article to "intuitive advice," and can you add somewhere in there that this is Garuda dasa second generation from Srila Prabhupada, the rainbow preacher, to distinguish me from His Grace Garuda dasa, a senior devotee.

 

Hare Krishna.

 

Your servant,

Garuda dasa

(Second generation, rainbow preacher).

 

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first of all you can't "relax" with sex desire eating away at your very spiritual essence

 

-------

 

 

what you are trying to do is not reasonable,

or practical or possible.

-----------------------------

what give up illict sex,sexual fantasies,

sex is sex the binding shackles of material life

 

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meditating on trying to avoid sexual thoughts is exactly the same as meditating on sex,in both situations you are

controlled by sex.

 

 

Sex is not the shackle to material consciousness,being absorbed in sexual thoughts or being absorbed in trying to

escape sexual thoughts is the same,in both cases you are

spending your mental resources on sexual thoughts,

Material or delusional consciousness is difficult

to overcome,to make it easy it is recommended

that the mind be utilized in the activity of

Bhakti yoga,When the Bhagavatam describes sex

as being that which keeps one in material consciousness

it doesn't mean that you should spend your energy

trying to avoid sexual thoughts,that is not the path of Bhakti,

 

The meaning of sex being the shackle to the

material world is that sex is the greatest material pleasure,if you are absorbed in sex thoughts it is

a great impediment to your pratcice of Sadhana,

the issue isn't sex,the issue is distraction,

the binding force of sense pleasure dominating your

time and agenda.

 

that is the meaning,not that sex in and of itself is an evil or corrupt or bad thing,just that in the conditioned

state the fast path for success in self realization is that

described in the Gita, by absorbing the mind in bhakti

what was once the function of the mind,self absorbed

obsession with sense gratification,which leads to

an ever increasing need for more and more stimulation,

is transformed ,automaticaly the obsession for sense

gratification is replaced by gratification of the

a higher sort.

 

So sex because it is the most pleasurable material

gratification is is called the greatest shackle to

the material world,not because sex is bad,but only because

it creates the most distraction and obsession.

 

But the attitude presented in your post and by others

is the wrong path,and is really the same thing

as being obesessed with sex,either way you are

wasting time and energy in a pursuit that is ultimately

unattainable,freedom from desire.

 

For those willingly obsessed with sex they are trying to become free from sex desire by satisfying their craving,

those who are obsessed with not having sex desire

are also trying to become free from sex desire in an obsessive way,they are two sides of the same coin,

both are letting sex control their minds,both are

obsessed with becoming free from sex desire,

both are bound to material thoughts.

 

 

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Yes the real solution is full absorption in pure unalloyed bhakti yoga

rendered selflessly

unmotivated

uninterrupted

for Krishna's and Guru's pleasure

like the gopis in Vrindavan.

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The sexual act itself or the pleasure one gets from the act is not an obstacle to spiritual growth. These desires are human and as long as you are a human, you will not be able to get rid of these desires. However, the desire itself is not an obstacle, it is the craving, the longing for the desire, the mind's tendency to relive the sexual experience which creates further vasanas. And this is to be curbed. The solution is regular meditation - and practicing what the Buddhist's call "living in the present". The practice of concentration on the present moment is a highly spiritual practice and enables one to be free from the memories of the past and aspirations of the future. Once your mind is in this state, it is fit for concentration on the Supreme. You will find that no thoughts of sex will intervene. This does not mean you give up sex, just that it has its place in your life, but is like say having a cup of coffee- nice when you have it- but does not bother you when you dont.

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5 Reasons Sex is Good For You!

Print this out and share it with your lover!

By Laura Snyder

 

Better sleep. A sexier physique. Stronger immunity. Sound like the effects of the latest wonder drug? Nope, it's just the many physical benefits of having a satisfying sexual relationship.

 

And all this time you were just making love because it was fun! If you're looking for more reasons to get romantic, consider the following:

 

You're getting a good workout. Would you rather run 75 miles or have sex three times a week for one year? While both burn the same number of calories (about 7,500), one is decidedly more pleasurable than the other. Regular sex - which burns approximately 150 calories in a half-hour -- is regular exercise. You'll have all the same benefits of spending that time in the gym, including improved circulation, lower cholesterol and the release of feel-good endorphins.

 

You won't get sick. According to research by Dr. Carl Charnetski, professor of psychology at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa and co-author of Feeling Good is Good For You, people who reported one or two sexual episodes per week enjoyed higher levels of Immunoglobin A, the antibody that helps fend of illness.

 

You'll feel happier. In addition to the obvious boost in satisfaction, feeling secure in your relationship leads to a greater sense of well-being. Women in particular may see even more benefits. Researchers at the State University of New York at Albany found that women who regularly came into contact with semen were significantly less depressed than those who didn't get a dose of those potent sex hormones and naturally occurring opiates.

 

You'll reduce stress. People who get it on regularly report that they handle stress better. The release of climax will get even the most anxious lover totally relaxed, and you know you'll sleep better.

 

You'll live longer (and look younger!). A British study of 1,000 men found that those who had at least two orgasms per week had half the death rate of those who indulged less than once a month. Sex can make you look younger, too, according to neuropsychologist David Weeks, who found that men and women who reported having sex an average of four times per week looked approximately 10 years younger than they really were.

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The first is how to get rid of sex... negative absorbtion in sex, and the leat before my post is positive absorbtion.

 

Very funny how depending on the desires of the person the same action, sex in this case, has dualistic views. Material conception on both sides.

 

Personally I'm bored of hearing/reading about this 3 letter word. I really liked what Shiva mentioned about obsessed both positively and negatively get one in material concept. We have pro-sex people, con-sex people... I prefer sexless. (and being offensive... even not interested in hearing Krishna's romantic affairs with the gopis.) I prefer Lord Caitanya's lilas. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

BTW Gopaldas, don't think I felt you were advocating your last post. It made me laugh to see this posted in a spiritual community where sex for enjoyment is shunned.

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the Grihasta asram is the support for all the others, according to both the Mahabharata and Mahaprabhu. There is no griha - household - without sex. Sex makesthe world goround and generates thenecessityfor sacrifice, which upholds all the three worlds.

 

VdK.

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