Top Ten Pieces Of Advice Gray Davis Has For Arnold Schwarzenegger

13thMonkey · October 14, 2003

10. "Governor, when you realize you don't know what you're doing, give me a call"

9. "Body-building oil will stain the mansion's Italian silk sofa"

8. "Listen to your constituents -- except Michael Jackson"

7. "(Sorry, joke number 7 was recalled)"

6. "To improve your approval rating, go on Leno -- when you get kicked out, go on Letterman"

5. "Study the master -- George W. Bush" (laughs) "Ah, I"m just kidding"

4. "You could solve the deficit problem by donating your salary from 'Terminator 3'"

3. "If things are bad, just yell, 'Save us, Superman!'"

2. "While giving speech, never say, 'Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara...same thing'"

1. "It's pronounced 'California'"

13thMonkey · October 14, 2003

Top Ten Ways California Would Be Different If I, Gary Coleman, Had Been Elected Governor

10. "Pretty much the same as Schwarzenegger, but less body oil"

9. "Three words: Lieutenant Governor Urkel"

8. "Thanks to my innocent charm, I'd get away with 60% more groping"

7. "I guess I'd have to quit my job as a security guard"

6. "You may not agree with me, but at least you could understand me"

5. "Inaugural address would have a laugh track"

4. "Television viewers wouldn't know if they were watching C-Span or Nick at Nite"

3. "Wouldn't have to worry about me having to take time off to do movies"

2. "I would form a task force to find out exactly what Willis was talking about"

1. "Unlike Schwarzenegger, I would admit I'm not qualified"

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