Guru Position Application Request

[Guest guest]

I would be interested in becoming a guru with many followers,lots of money and beautiful women who fall at my feet. Where can I send my CV so that I can get the best chance of success ? yours sincerely, Kali-cela das

[Govindaram 1]

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[I_love_krishna_ 0]

You can go to the big 'G' (God) or (Krishna) corporation. There you can get the permission to be a "GURU" from the big G or K or what ever you want to call him.

 

Sorry, you have to go there personally, they don't take phone calls and they don't have an e-mail address or a mailing address ,they are really "privatized" and let only "the members" in. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

 

Here are the directions: First keep thinking about beautiful women, the power , and the money, then after you are really really old take a right turn at death #1.

 

Then, take a straight road through 8 million species of life, when you get to the human intersection, start thinking about beautiful women, the power , and the money, then after you are really really old take a right turn at death #2.

 

Then, take a straight road through 8 million species of life, when you get to the human intersection, start thinking about beautiful women, the power , and the money, then after you are really really old take a right turn at death #3.

 

Then, take a straight road through 8 million species of life, when you get to the human intersection, start thinking about beautiful women, the power , and the money, then after you are really really old take a right turn at death #4.

 

You keep doing the same thing until you reach the 7th death.

Here if you still want beautiful women, the power , and the money, then take a right turn at death.

 

then again, if you feel that you were moving in a circle all along---> they got a special name for it called Karma... ,

anyway, if you feel like you were moving in a big karma circle all along and you really don't want to meet any one but find peace. Then, take a left turn at renunciation---> Voila!!!!!!!

 

The big K himself comes up and gives you a nice place in his big house/ corporation.

 

every one lives happily ever after. /images/graemlins/wink.gif /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

(K stands for Krishna , G stands for his other name called God)

 

Muchas gracias. /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

 

 

[vsdprasad 0]

...invent your own philosophy that is pleasing to each and every individual of the world and there you go.

You cannot do this because it is the quality of the age to be in a state of non-equilibrium.

Some will say "thank yu" but majority will say "damn you".

 

Gracias muy mucho /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[theist 1]

send me $, lots of it, and your certification will arrive via private carrier.

 

for those more mundane aspirants I also offer P.hd.'s at reduced prices.

 

The package is most impressive.

[Gauracandra 1]

Oh dear lord, do you guys remember that one? For those who were here for a while, there was a (now defunct) website from a Gopalprema Prabhu who was the next big acharya. It was the funniest thing you could imagine. At first we were trying to decide if it was real. Some said it was a parody. Then it was decided to be real. I'm not kidding man, it was brilliant satire, except it wasn't a satire. I'm dying laughing just remembering it. Too bad his website went down, it was brilliantly awful /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Guruvani 0]

I have not been successful at preaching and making disciples so I need to take advantage of the ISKCON devotees and take some devotees away from there to support me and my little temple. Now, I have plenty of chappattis and dahl and a big throne to accept worship from even though I did not do anything myself to spread Krishna consciousness around the world.

These western devotees are easy victims of us Indian Swamis.

Ah yes, life is good.........thanks to Swamiji Bhaktivedanta.

[livingentity 0]

it was so sad it was funny! I just pray no one fell for it!!