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Indo-Pak Nuclear war !!

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Between 61's and 80's, the cold war between US and

USSR was such that if USA launched a Nuke-loaded

missile, USSR's satellites were capable of

informing USSR

army in 3 seconds, and in less than 45 seconds

USSR would also launch

its counter-missile. US knew that, and therefore,

never attempted to

launch one.


Recent studies commissioned by US DOD included one

likely scenario on a nuclear war between India and

Pakistan. INDO-PAK WAR...


Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards

India... They don't need any permission from their

government, and promptly launch the missile.Indian

technology is

highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian

army detects it and

decides to launch a missile in retribution. But

they need permission

from The Government of India. They submit their

request to the Indian



The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime

Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha (i.e., LS)

session. After three

days, when the LS meets, due to several walkouts and

severe protest

by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for

a quick decision. In the meantime, the Pak missile

failed to take off

due to unknown reasons. Their attempts for a

relaunch are still

on.meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to

minority because a

party,giving outside support, withdraws support.

Therefore, its first

task is now

to get majority.


The President asks the PM to prove majority within

a week. Meanwhile, an external affairs spokesman


Pak for some bilateral talks, at the secretary and


levels. Next week, as the ruling party was not able

to get

confidence vote, a caretaker government is

installed. The acting PM

decides to permit the armed forces to launch the

Nuclear Missile. But the

Election Commission says that a caretaker government

cannot take such a

decision because elections are at hand and this

decision might

affect the swing of votes in the election.


A PIL (Public Interest Litigation) is filed in the

Supreme Court of India, alleging misuse of power by

the Election

commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of

the PM, and says the

acting PM is authorized to take this decision, in

the interests of the



In between, one of the Pak missiles successfully

took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target

on a government

building at 11:00 AM. But there were no casualties

since no employee had

reached the office by then. In any case, the nuclear

core of missile had

detached some where in flight.Pakistan army is now

trying to get better

technologies from China and USA. US condemns the

use of a nuclear

missile by

Pakistan, and offers to send its seventh fleet in

Indian Ocean. The


government, wary of the move, declines. The Indian

government finally

decides to launch a nuclear missile, after

convening an all party

meeting. This

time all the parties agree.


It's three months since the army had sought


But this time, some "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear"

activists come on road against the government's

decision. Human

chains are being made in CA, LA and Washington for

peace. Many E-mails


sent to Indians condemning the government and

mentioning "Please

forward it to as many Indians as possible."


On the Pakistan side, the missiles keep failing.

Some time they fail to take-off, some time the

payload gets detached from

the missile during flight. Some missiles deviate

from target due to

technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over

Rajasthan, these

missiles are neutralized by Pak itself, as these

missiles are now moving

backwards towards Karachi.


A missile (smuggled from USA) is used. Since

Pakistan army is unable to understand its software,

it hits its original

destination: Russia. Russians successfully intercept

the missile and in

retaliation, launch a nuclear missile towards

Islamabad. (Note: Russian

missiles never fail.) The missile hits the target

and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. It asks for loans from the

IMF and the World


India expresses deep regrets for what had happened

and sends in a

million dollar worth of soaps.


So in the end, India never got to launch the

missile. Pak never got it right and got themselves

screwed. Indian


at its best!

Conclusion reached by the DOD: Kashmir is now no

longer a dangerous

flashpoint, and they turn their attention towards

Osama Bin Laden!

And they lived happily ever after.



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