Coming to Terms with the Past 25 Years

Gauracandra · November 28, 2002

By Padmapani das

Posted November 25, 2002

November 14, 1977. Twenty-five years. A quarter century. The day our world stopped.

At the time, I had collected almost enough money to get to India from Vancouver. Srila Prabhupada's health had been deteriorating, and I was anxious to get to Vrindavan as soon as possible. Another week, and I'd be ready to go. But then the phone call came. Prabhupada had left his body.

Words can't describe the devastation that we all felt. Hearts broke and tears flowed everywhere. The universe was in sorrow. The pure devotee of Lord Krsna had left the planet. We had lost our master, our protector, and our ever well-wisher. Suddenly the universe became cold and dark, and all hope instantly fled from our lives. How could we go on without Prabhupada? It was inconceivable.

I remember that I could hardly speak a word for the next three days. It was the same for most of us there in the Vancouver temple. We never imagined that such a time would come. Prabhupada was everything to us, and we thought that he would always be here. Of course, the spiritual master is present wherever his instructions are followed, but most of us had not anticipated the day when Prabhupada's personal presence would no longer be available.

Years earlier — and only a couple of days after I had joined the temple — I found myself crammed in the back of a van full of devotees headed for Los Angeles to see Srila Prabhupada. Living on the West Coast meant that we could easily drive to California whenever Prabhupada was visiting there. The San Francisco Rathayatra in particular was an annual favorite of the devotees.

Then, of course, there was the yearly pilgrimage to India to associate with Srila Prabhupada for a whole month at the Mayapur/Vrindavan festival. Everyone got to attend his classes and offer guru-puja to him in the mornings. Even when we had to return to our respective temples, we always received the latest news and tape recordings of Prabhupada's lectures and conversations.

Back to Godhead magazine arrived in large shipments from Los Angeles every month. Devotees eagerly grabbed a copy and disappeared for hours, each one savoring the nectar. New editions of the Srimad-Bhagavatam and Caitanya-caritamrta would appear miraculously on a regular basis. And who could forget the much-anticipated BBT newsletters, describing the latest number of Prabhupada's books distributed throughout the world? Day after day, we were all blissfully saturated with Prabhupada's presence and mercy.

Everything changed at 7:20 p.m. on November 14, 1977. No longer could we jump in a van or board an airplane to go see His Divine Grace in person. No longer came the reports of Prabhupada's latest preaching success or his most recent instructions to the devotees. No longer did the anticipation of greeting Prabhupada at the airport or watching him bow down before the Deities shiver in our hearts. No longer did we have the same youthful confidence that our movement could save the world.

Over the years, we have tried to come to terms with our great loss. In addition, we have each struggled to grasp the enormousness and significance of Srila Prabhupada's appearance in our lives. In the process, we have had to grow and expand our vision of the spiritual master and his causeless mercy. While he was physically present, Srila Prabhupada repeatedly warned us that he might leave at a moment's notice, but he also assured us that we needn't worry as long as we remain sincere and true to him:

"I will remain your personal guidance, physically present or not physically present, as I am getting guidance from my guru maharaja." (Srila Prabhupada room conversation, Vrindavan, July 7, 1977)

In this simple sentence we find the answer to our great dilemma. Where is Srila Prabhupada now? He is in our hearts if we invite him there. As we each move closer towards all-devouring death (mrtyuh sarva-haras caham), we are learning that Prabhupada has never left us at all:

"In the spiritual world, separation is more relishable than meeting. In other words, in spiritual life, there is no separation. Separation is eternal, and meeting is also eternal. The separation is simply another feature of meeting." (Srila Prabhupada letter, April 3, 1969)

Srila Prabhupada has touched and changed the lives of so many of us. How he could do so in such a brief span of time is nothing short of mind-boggling. Even twenty-five years after his departure, Srila Prabhupada is still preaching and making new devotees everywhere. His mercy continues to expand without limit. He is still here. Therefore who can fathom the depth of his compassion and kindness? We have been so fortunate to have found the most perfect example and teacher; so now, there is nothing left to do but simply try our best to broadcast his glories everywhere.

(Excerpt from The Prabhupada Connection, Editorial, Notes #12, by Padmapani das) http://www.prabhupadaconnect.com/

ethos · November 28, 2002

This article brought back memories and feelings. I was living in the Atlanta temple at the time Prabhupada left. I remember the tears––and the feeling of hopelessness that the light had indeed left the world. I think time has verified those feelings of loss.

"the spiritual master is present wherever his instructions are followed."

A philosophical corillary would be that he is not present where his instructions are not followed.

"In the process, we have had to grow and expand our vision of the spiritual master and his causeless mercy."

Most of us can see this on a subjective level. At least in retrospect we should understand how Prabhupada "was" ISKCON. Prabhupada was ISKCON's sun and moon. For the sun and moon there are no substitutes.

Where is the prevalent Krsna-katha now––mentioned above––experienced at the time of Prabhupada's presence? Where is the anticipation or even surprise? Where is the inundation?

Unfortunately, "had to grow" is not the pratical description of our individual or combined devotional lives. Presently, no individual or combined efforts have satisfied Prabhupada's enertia. Spiritual relationships are dynamic and require constant cultivation. Most of Prabhupada's disciples (including myself) have been quite negligent in checking ISKCON mismanagement and uniting on common ground as a devotional army to protect ourselves or significantly advance our Lord's desire throughout the world: we have failed and are failing Prabhupada's house and home.

"Srila Prabhupada has touched and changed the lives of so many of us. How he could do so in such a brief span of time is nothing short of mind-boggling. Even twenty-five years after his departure, Srila Prabhupada is still preaching and making new devotees everywhere. His mercy continues to expand without limit. He is still here. Therefore who can fathom the depth of his compassion and kindness? We have been so fortunate to have found the most perfect example and teacher; so now, there is nothing left to do but simply try our best to broadcast his glories everywhere."

Theoretically and literally perfect. But are we doing our best? My reasoning has to reflect on "his mercy continues to expand without limit" and "there is nothing left to do but simply try our best to broadcast his glories everywhere."

If you consider how devotees are still being made from nondevotees, his mercy is alive and working. But if you consider how our ISKCON family has failed to live cooperatively, perpetuate the inertia started by Prabhupada, and produce the self-controlled leaders of society empowered to represent God and a spiritual science, we have been and are dismally thwarted. We can't even create a sustainable farming community. We have allowed Prabhupada's words to be compromised and his house to crumble. We follow our individual minds and not the family icon. We are children of Kali-yuga.

"Everything changed at 7:20 p.m. on November 14, 1977... No longer did we have the same youthful confidence that our movement could save the world."

Optimism is our future. Pessimism is our life.

Oh! ...and as an afterthought ...I remain disgusted how many temple presidents routinely go to India every year while devotees who have quietly done service for years while living in a temple (as some pujaris) have never been to see the land of magic and mysticism.

Priitaa · February 18, 2003

This article brought memories and feelings to myself as well. Actually, I had to skim it so I would not cry. I remember all too well the day Srila Prabhupada left this planet, and all too well the various problems that followed. I don't want to get into it at the moment, but I seriously believe we can not sit back but must preach, preach, preach the glories of Srila Prabhupada. I see many of the new generation/s don't have a proper understanding of who he is and have classified him as a 'quaint' or 'antiquish' little old 'man,' etc. We must reveal to them his transcendetal qualities! Jai Prabhupada!

YS,

Prtha dd

February 19, 2003

All devotees are humbly invited to send in their memories of Srila Prabhupada to "The Prabhupada Connection" website. No remembrance is too small. (I even wrote one memory of seeing Srila Prabhupada pass by in a car.) Sharing our memories is a great way to inspire others to love Srila Prabhupada, and it's guaranteed to enliven the heart of the writer too.

Even if you do not have any personal memories of Srila Prabhupada, there is an offering page where devotees can submit written or artistic offerings for the pleasure of His Divine Grace and his followers. It is not required that one must be an initiated disciple or have had personal association to appreciate, love and glorify Srila Prabhupada.

There is also a section called "Causeless Mercy" for those who would like to write about how they first came into contact with Prabhupada's mercy, or share a sankirtana story. I'm planning to write about living at the New Gokula farm community in Bridesville, B.C. for a year (in 1974)-- milking cows, training bulls and delivering calves. The mood is one of sharing, so please consider yourself respectfully invited. Thank you sincerely.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Your servant,

Padmapani das

http://www.prabhupadaconnect.com/