Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful New Zealand Hindu girlfriend and have chosen to follow her across the globe from NZ. I am to meet her parents. I am a Christian but not active. In short her parents wish us to get married as we are now living together. Neither my girlfriend or I believe we are old enough and are happy for the moment with the commitment that has been shown in me travelling the globe. However, we are aware that this will conflict with the famly values and culture. Her brothers are pleasant and funny but meeting her Mother and Father will potentially at least be less pleasant. We as a couple are being rational I think (in a Western way). Advice much welcome alternative, please e-mail me at leonhudson@europe.com I do not wish to offend or cause heart ache as I love her very much!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Well I think it's to do with the fact that Hindu parent's don't like their childeren living together when not even married. But her parents appear rather liberal to know she is 'living with' a man, let alone a non-indian, non-hindu this is a big taboo in Hindu society. The fact that she may be young makes it worse for them. But for her to be living with you and them to know about it, is by itself very surprising as most Hindu parent don't allow this. I think they are pushing the idea of marriage because they don't want other families (in the community) to find out their daughter is living with a man without being married to him. They will be looked down upon, as others see it as a failure on their part in bringing up their daughter in a 'decent' way. So the best thing for them is to get you married, so they don't have to face any embarassing questions. I'm sure they are also worried that if you don't marry her and the relationship splits, then when she has a relationship with another man, she will be developing a 'reputation'. Sorry, if I shocked you, but I'm being straight to the point and as honest as possible. Some others may try to pacify the situation. Her parents are acting like typical Indian parents when they are trying the two of you to get married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 if you are not married and do sex or fondeling, kissing, carrrasing, etc. then it is not good in vedic view. if you are not doing it, then good, very good! then what i suggest is that you get married first, then live together as you do now. then meet all the hindu in-laws. they will not have any complaint or heartburn. by living together without marriage you have put her at risk. if you do not marry, in case, then she will have hard time to find a husband. so, get married and then travel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 "if you are not married and do sex or fondeling, kissing, carrrasing, etc. then it is not good in vedic view." Come on! They're living together! I guess they are pretty much having sex! I doubt a young couple living together will not have sex. I agree it's not good in the Vedic view (should be practicing brahmcharya) and the community will hate it if they get to find out, but maybe the girl doesn't care about religion? I mean she IS living with a guy, which she must know is not accepted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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