Introduction from James Can anyone make sense of this.

[Guest guest]

Hi my name is James

I am 32. Where to begin. I was brought up in an organisation called the School

of Philosophy as a child which taught elements of Advaita Vedanta and taught

meditation with a Sanskrit based matnra. But I never really understood or paid

much attention to it because it was always forced upon me. When I was given the

choice at the age of 16 to leave I took it. In the last two years of school I

experienced a bit of a feeling of disillusionment and a sort of depression and

feelings of isolation an dont fitting in as everyone seemed to change around me.

My brother had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that was also having an

influence on my family life. I began to experience dizzy spells and stress

headaches. I was always very sensitive.

I visited a physio who suggested I take up transcendental meditation but I

resisted the idea as I had a negative view of it from what I had seen in my

family. He then suggested another type of meditation called the Ishayas

Ascension which I went on a weekend course and took up.

Over the next few years I did it with increasing regulatiry finding it helpful

in my life, and went to Ascension weekend sporadialy gaining more Ascension

attitudes as I went along. By the time I finished university Ascnesion had come

an important part of my life, and I was thinking of going to America to train to

teach it. I struggled with my last year of uni experiencing OOS syndrome and not

really feeling motivated to complete it. During those four years though i had

felt more intouch with myself taking up poetry writing and song writing and

acting.

Somewhere round that time period I had an experience of leaving my body and then

soon after I experienced energy moving up my spine. Initially I felt guided to

eat very little and meidtate a lot when it started happening. But it didn't seem

to stop.

I contacted the Ishayas and one of them replied that I was experiencing a

kundalini awakening and that this was a wonderful thing.

It went on though and as it did I began to lose interest in other pursuits and

felt that I had to go to The Ishaya Campus as I felt like I needed to be there

while whatever was happening to me was happening, among other reasons.

Initially it had felt quite blissful but as it went on I began to experience

jerking every time I meditated, pain in my back, cracking of the spine,

headaches and hot flushes, feelings of disconnection and being in a trance like

state, confusion and difficulty focussing on anything of a practical nature.

So I went to America but my experience there wasn't quite what I had imagined.

The " guru " and i put it in speech marks because he never wanted to be someone to

" follow " , had passed away well before and the campus was in a state of disarray

with no clear leader and a lot of people arguing about what was the way forward,

a lack of focus and a lot of destructive behaviour patterns going on. It also

seemed that the dogma that I had tried to escape from the school of philosophy

that I didn't initially experience with Ascension has crept into the campus and

took hold and people seemed at times more interested in upholding dogma than in

what I had initialy felt the teaching was about.

Also there didn't seem to be people there with mcuh of a knowledge about what

was happening to me. In fact I felt a bit judged and didn't really know how to

express what I was feeling about the place. I felt periods of anxiety and I

think sometimes admittedly delusion at times, almost feeling like I was going

through some kind of crucification process.

Anyway I became disillusioned and left and headed for home. It was very

difficult for me adjusting to being back home as for the last four or so months

there, I had been on TEacher Training which I had won a raffle into, and had

been meditating up to 16 hours a day, which I found very difficult to do but it

was somewhat forced upon us. I was even advised against going for runs or walks

or being outside for too long.

Well when I got home I felt a bit disillusioned and didnt really know what to do

with myself. I was still experiencing all the symptoms of kundalini and still

didn;t know what I was to do about it or what I should do with my life. I had

decided I wanted to get abck into acting which I did along with my music and

poetry etc. I was finding it very difficult to meditate but also difficult not

to. I still experienced the disconnection, headached, problems in my backs and

guts and pressure in my head, along with experiences of leaving my body and

flying round the stars.

A friend of mine then introduced me to Reiki, but he had not really been

properly trained in it and I am not sure to this day whether he gave me the

right attunement or made some mistake with it.

Anyway at the time I took to it with a bit too much zest. And started doing it

constantly on myself almost admittedly with the attention of opening myself up

and wanting to experience higher states of consiousness. I did it on my forehead

hoping to open up my third eye and did it on my back to try and get rid of the

pain. But I didn't even really know how to do it other than puttting my hands on

and doing the symbols. Then it seemed like the energy was constantly coming

through me and through my hands. I would often feel fatigued particularly when I

woke up in the morning. And if I did it on other people I would feel very

strange after. Everything felt like a whirling vortex of energy and my body felt

like a volcano. My digestive system seemed ultra sensitive to everything. I

found it hard to eat. I experienced ultra sensitivity to everything especially

things like cigarette smoke around me. I felt almost dizzy and ver ungrounded a

lot of the time.

And then one night I woke up and saw what looked like an angel flying around my

room but then its face turned demonic and it scared the life out of me.

This is when I started seeking help. I went to an acupuncturist with the hope he

might close these channels down. He said that I had opened myself up and that I

needed shutting down. When he put the needles in me I convulsed and jerked. But

I didn't really experience any reliefs from any of the symptoms that I had. He

thought I had entiies around me and I went to a supposed " entity remover " who

then supposedly removed all these entities off me, explaining what they were -

more convulsing and jerking. It still went on. I would feel like every time the

entities would leave and then come abck in again if that is what they were.

He suggested I see a Maori healer and he tried to shut me down with greenstones

digging into my head. They told me to stop meditating but it was almost as

though I was in a constant state of meditation anyway it seemed and perhaps this

was to do with the kundalini, because everything would just seem to open up

again. It was impossible to close it.

I prayed and prayed for help and for God to remove the attunements and to shut

me down, and I experienced all sorts of sensations while doing this but it would

seem everything would just open up again every time soon after without my

control.

I say all this because this is the best way I can describe what has been

happening to me. But the honesty of it all is I dont know what is flawed

thinking and what is true. I dont know what the truth is anymore about my

condition.

I found out about a a thing called Reiki Tummo. And that is where I fisrst heard

the terms " Kundalini Syndrome " . I had read Gop Krishna's book on " kundalini " and

felt that that was what was happening in some way or thoer to me but didn't

really know how to explain this to people, and as mentioned the reiki attunement

had made things worse to a degree as I now experienced a lot more of the

tingling sensations in my hands and crawling sensations and had strange visions

and dreams, and felt like I had holes in my body or that I was wide open or that

energies were entering into me through my hands into my kidney area or that my

lifeforce was leaking out through my hands even at times. Or that I had not

closed off healings or preotected myself which was apparently what a lot of the

alternative practitioners I went to see had told me.

Anyway the Reiki Tummo people then told me that kundalini doesn't work with a

normal Reiki attunement. As it drilla a hole from the crown chakra only to the

heart chakra and out through the hands and so the energy cannot release through

the head. They said that there attunements activated the kundalini and drilled a

hole all the way down so that the kundalini went out through the head.

Well I experienced even more sensations when this happened. But I still didn;t

like the experience of the erngy in my hand I also felt everything very

intensely and I was unsure whether it was the right path for me or that i

believed in their philosophy. Eventually anyway I got the attunement removed

from the head guru.

That was a number of years ago still. Since then there have been more new age

people. A crysal healer who told me my kundalini had risen to my neck. A

spiritualist who said that he had got his spirit guide ot shut down my channels.

Another lady who told me i needed to take up sculpture. A lady who claimed to

channel Buddha and Jesus but didn;t seem to help with any of what I was going

through.

Not that I dont appreciate it all and to some degree I think part of it has been

my disbelief that this is what is happening to me, and my difficulty to explain

it to my family or circle of friends or whatever that has kept me isolated.

Looking back I think a lot of the advice people gave me has been good. For

example to stop all the spiritual stuff and take a rest from it for a while has

been good. I have been trying to involve myself more in practical matters, but

thats not to say that I dont still experience all the symptoms.

Another acupuncturist told me to drink carrot juice, while treaing me like a

Parkinsons patient, people have said to go for walks in nature and get outside

and do physical activity.

Dancing seems to help.

I also learnt another energy healing technique called The Reconnection which I

felt guided towards somehow.

I have to admit I had expereinced a lot of paranoia over people telling me I had

entities on me. One time I went to an Ishaya and it seemed everytime she got rid

of one another would come back. People have told me that I was in a lot of

danger, but haven't told me how to get out of it or what to do about it, For the

majority I ahve had to cope with it on my own trying to make sense of all the

myriad of things people have told me that are wrong with me.

I doctor once told me I might have schizophrenia. That scared me and made me

think that my brother might have the same thing. She deduced in five minutes of

talking to me that that is what I had. haha.

I went back to her a year later and she thought differently. I had been to a

psychiatrist and he didn;t think I had anything wrong with me aprt from being

anxious. And I will definitely admit to that. I am anxious about all the

physical symptoms I experience.

Another thing, one regression healer I went to something came out of it. I was

speaking in a childs voice and saying that I had been abused sexually by my

uncle when I was 3. My uncle committed suicide a long time ago. He supposedly

had bipolar disorder.

I have no way of finding out whether this was true. Or whether it was something

that my mind made up to explain everything that has happeend to me. And the

truth is I dont know. The guy who was doing the regression seeemed a bit odd but

it came out of me not from him.

Someitmes I feel like I might have made up something to make it feel like I was

expriencing something, but then I also think that I might be saying that because

I dont want to believe that it happened. I really dont know.

Anyway I have felt at times suicidal through all this. I took up gambling at one

stage. TO be honest it gave me something to do to concentrate on so I could stop

thinking about al the discomfot and sensations and pain in my body. I won at

first and then lost and lost and lost.

I have been having counselling with a counsellor who I find listens and is

helpful.

The doctor put me on anxiety medication. Which seemed to help at least with some

motivational aspect. It seemed to give me more get up and go.

I dont know. Then I experienced stomach pains and she thinks I might have

ulcers. I felt like it was a reaction to the medication. It could be more

kundalini issues. The truth is I dont know.

And again I was starting to feel a bit despairing, like nothing every works for

me and that every time I think I find some sort of solution something comes and

rips it away from me.

So now I have a Reiki attunement a kundalini syndrome a Reconnection attunement

which I dont know if I should use.

I dont know whether to meditate because I went back the School of Philosophy for

a while and learnt it. I dont know whether to Ascend but I feel like I shoudn't.

I dont know whether my Reiki attunement is dodgy and if it i dont know if there

is anything that can be done about it.

But I stumbled upon this site and at least the symptoms that are talked about

here, I can say that I have expereinced all of them at different times or other.

Funnily enough also I ahve been to chirospractors and osteopaaths for these

pains in my back haha. But no success. They come and go anyway.

And I had tests for epilepsy but nothing.

The kundalini syndrome is the only thing that I can find that seems to describe

my symptoms.

So here I am. HOping to sort the truth from the fiction. Trying to actually jusy

be normal and grounded. Trying to live a life here on earth.

Anyway if anyone actually got through all that. Thanks for listening. Its just

nice to be able to have a space to blurt it all about.

I am sorry if it is a bit lengthy but I didn;t know where to begin.

[Guest guest]

James,

 

Welcome. I am happy that you have found your way here. All of us come from

different paths, backgrounds, sets of experiences and so on, but we all share in

common that Kundalini is a huge part of our lives. I daresay nary an eyebrow

will rise here at your recounting your experiences - we have all had experiences

in realms of consciousness beyond the gross physical.

 

If you have not done so, you may wish to look aroung the KAS1 web site and

specifically look at the section titled " The Safeties " . The safeties are a set

of protocols that can help to keep your Kundalini experience joyful, bright, and

happy.

 

http://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems1.com/

 

So welcome to our little corner of cyberspace. If you have found us, it is no

accident, and I cannot think of a better way to start the new year!

 

Love and blessings,

 

David

[Guest guest]

Hello James,

 

welcome, and it seems like quite a ride you have been on. Your experiences are

'normal' here, so I suggest keeping it simple for now and doing the safeties..

 

love

bruce

 

, " djgottlieb "

<dgottlieb wrote:

>

>

>

> James,

>

> Welcome. I am happy that you have found your way here. All of us come from

different paths, backgrounds, sets of experiences and so on, but we all share in

common that Kundalini is a huge part of our lives. I daresay nary an eyebrow

will rise here at your recounting your experiences - we have all had experiences

in realms of consciousness beyond the gross physical.

>

> If you have not done so, you may wish to look aroung the KAS1 web site and

specifically look at the section titled " The Safeties " . The safeties are a set

of protocols that can help to keep your Kundalini experience joyful, bright, and

happy.

>

> http://www.kundaliniawakeningsystems1.com/

>

> So welcome to our little corner of cyberspace. If you have found us, it is no

accident, and I cannot think of a better way to start the new year!

>

> Love and blessings,

>

> David

>

[Guest guest]

Hi James, I've been through some of your trials and recommend - as have others -

committing to the Safeties.

 

Also what has helped me, is to do simple repetitive tasks that (to most people)

would seem like very passive and non-descript remedies to your very trying

experiences - things like choosing to weed fairly neatly, just a square metre of

neglected garden, going through your wardrobe or your collections of this and

that and making tiny, flippant decisions on what you would like to discard or

donate and follow through if you wish but with no fuss or bother. Pick a random

set of co-ordinates in your local street directory, drive there and take a quiet

stroll around a few blocks in that area. Browse an old book or photos that

revive memories of when life was much simpler - something that doesn't need

concentration or focus - just drifting.

 

I suppose I'm saying by the process of shrugging your shoulders, drop out of the

big pictures in your life, exempt yourself as much as possible from drama and

burdensome decision-making tasks - in particular avoid clock-watching in regard

to anything you're doing; steer clear of intense mental processes of any kind;

don't slide into any form of self or interpersonal judgement. Simply hovering

and meandering can and will restore your balance if you go quietly.

 

Much love - John R.

[Guest guest]

Hi James,

Welcome to KAS and you have now arrived at a place of acceptance and love.  I

am sure it will be suggested that you start practicing the safeities straight

away, adn this is the best possible way to start the next phase  of your

journey and " by coincidence " (haha) the new year.   I would like to add that

there is no need to begin doing the 5 tibetans " 21 times " each if you are not

physically able to do them...start with 3 or 6 or 9 times each of them and build

from there.  The committment to do them and the continual practice is the

thing.  You will increase the number of times when it is right to do so. 

The emotional safieites are wonderfully helpful and if you practice these every

day you will find the peace and knowing you are searching for will come as a by

product of the practice.  ~forgiveness for example ain't easy and  will keep

you busy lol!

  From what you have said I wonder if being offered another " practice " rather

than being offered an explanation of your symptoms might not seem attractive to

you? You have probably been offered practice after practice over the years! 

If you feel somwhat reluctant to begin a new practice I would say that the

pracrtice of the safieites as given by is different. It transends all

other pracitces.    The safeties offer  a way of living and a way of being

that transends all traditions and gets directly to the heart of us. 

We are all unique here James, while K has awakened there is no restrictive

philosophy promoted here.  You will find signposts and a wonderful loving

teacher and a beautiful Kundalini family that will support you on the

journey.  This community is based in love and service.  Welcome and much love

to you.  Julia 

   

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________

james_crompton <james_crompton

 

Fri, January 1, 2010 6:14:33 AM

Introduction from James Can anyone make

sense of this.

 

 

Hi my name is James

I am 32. Where to begin. I was brought up in an organisation called the School

of Philosophy as a child which taught elements of Advaita Vedanta and taught

meditation with a Sanskrit based matnra. But I never really understood or paid

much attention to it because it was always forced upon me. When I was given the

choice at the age of 16 to leave I took it. In the last two years of school I

experienced a bit of a feeling of disillusionment and a sort of depression and

feelings of isolation an dont fitting in as everyone seemed to change around me.

My brother had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that was also having an

influence on my family life. I began to experience dizzy spells and stress

headaches. I was always very sensitive.

I visited a physio who suggested I take up transcendental meditation but I

resisted the idea as I had a negative view of it from what I had seen in my

family. He then suggested another type of meditation called the Ishayas

Ascension which I went on a weekend course and took up.

Over the next few years I did it with increasing regulatiry finding it helpful

in my life, and went to Ascension weekend sporadialy gaining more Ascension

attitudes as I went along. By the time I finished university Ascnesion had come

an important part of my life, and I was thinking of going to America to train to

teach it. I struggled with my last year of uni experiencing OOS syndrome and not

really feeling motivated to complete it. During those four years though i had

felt more intouch with myself taking up poetry writing and song writing and

acting..

Somewhere round that time period I had an experience of leaving my body and then

soon after I experienced energy moving up my spine. Initially I felt guided to

eat very little and meidtate a lot when it started happening.. But it didn't

seem to stop.

I contacted the Ishayas and one of them replied that I was experiencing a

kundalini awakening and that this was a wonderful thing.

It went on though and as it did I began to lose interest in other pursuits and

felt that I had to go to The Ishaya Campus as I felt like I needed to be there

while whatever was happening to me was happening, among other reasons.

Initially it had felt quite blissful but as it went on I began to experience

jerking every time I meditated, pain in my back, cracking of the spine,

headaches and hot flushes, feelings of disconnection and being in a trance like

state, confusion and difficulty focussing on anything of a practical nature.

So I went to America but my experience there wasn't quite what I had imagined.

The " guru " and i put it in speech marks because he never wanted to be someone to

" follow " , had passed away well before and the campus was in a state of disarray

with no clear leader and a lot of people arguing about what was the way forward,

a lack of focus and a lot of destructive behaviour patterns going on. It also

seemed that the dogma that I had tried to escape from the school of philosophy

that I didn't initially experience with Ascension has crept into the campus and

took hold and people seemed at times more interested in upholding dogma than in

what I had initialy felt the teaching was about.

Also there didn't seem to be people there with mcuh of a knowledge about what

was happening to me. In fact I felt a bit judged and didn't really know how to

express what I was feeling about the place. I felt periods of anxiety and I

think sometimes admittedly delusion at times, almost feeling like I was going

through some kind of crucification process.

Anyway I became disillusioned and left and headed for home. It was very

difficult for me adjusting to being back home as for the last four or so months

there, I had been on TEacher Training which I had won a raffle into, and had

been meditating up to 16 hours a day, which I found very difficult to do but it

was somewhat forced upon us. I was even advised against going for runs or walks

or being outside for too long.

Well when I got home I felt a bit disillusioned and didnt really know what to do

with myself. I was still experiencing all the symptoms of kundalini and still

didn;t know what I was to do about it or what I should do with my life. I had

decided I wanted to get abck into acting which I did along with my music and

poetry etc. I was finding it very difficult to meditate but also difficult not

to. I still experienced the disconnection, headached, problems in my backs and

guts and pressure in my head, along with experiences of leaving my body and

flying round the stars.

A friend of mine then introduced me to Reiki, but he had not really been

properly trained in it and I am not sure to this day whether he gave me the

right attunement or made some mistake with it.

Anyway at the time I took to it with a bit too much zest. And started doing it

constantly on myself almost admittedly with the attention of opening myself up

and wanting to experience higher states of consiousness. I did it on my forehead

hoping to open up my third eye and did it on my back to try and get rid of the

pain. But I didn't even really know how to do it other than puttting my hands on

and doing the symbols. Then it seemed like the energy was constantly coming

through me and through my hands. I would often feel fatigued particularly when I

woke up in the morning. And if I did it on other people I would feel very

strange after. Everything felt like a whirling vortex of energy and my body felt

like a volcano. My digestive system seemed ultra sensitive to everything. I

found it hard to eat. I experienced ultra sensitivity to everything especially

things like cigarette smoke around me. I felt almost dizzy and ver ungrounded a

lot of the time.

And then one night I woke up and saw what looked like an angel flying around my

room but then its face turned demonic and it scared the life out of me.

This is when I started seeking help. I went to an acupuncturist with the hope he

might close these channels down. He said that I had opened myself up and that I

needed shutting down. When he put the needles in me I convulsed and jerked. But

I didn't really experience any reliefs from any of the symptoms that I had. He

thought I had entiies around me and I went to a supposed " entity remover " who

then supposedly removed all these entities off me, explaining what they were -

more convulsing and jerking. It still went on. I would feel like every time the

entities would leave and then come abck in again if that is what they were.

He suggested I see a Maori healer and he tried to shut me down with greenstones

digging into my head. They told me to stop meditating but it was almost as

though I was in a constant state of meditation anyway it seemed and perhaps this

was to do with the kundalini, because everything would just seem to open up

again. It was impossible to close it.

I prayed and prayed for help and for God to remove the attunements and to shut

me down, and I experienced all sorts of sensations while doing this but it would

seem everything would just open up again every time soon after without my

control.

I say all this because this is the best way I can describe what has been

happening to me. But the honesty of it all is I dont know what is flawed

thinking and what is true. I dont know what the truth is anymore about my

condition.

I found out about a a thing called Reiki Tummo. And that is where I fisrst heard

the terms " Kundalini Syndrome " . I had read Gop Krishna's book on " kundalini " and

felt that that was what was happening in some way or thoer to me but didn't

really know how to explain this to people, and as mentioned the reiki attunement

had made things worse to a degree as I now experienced a lot more of the

tingling sensations in my hands and crawling sensations and had strange visions

and dreams, and felt like I had holes in my body or that I was wide open or that

energies were entering into me through my hands into my kidney area or that my

lifeforce was leaking out through my hands even at times. Or that I had not

closed off healings or preotected myself which was apparently what a lot of the

alternative practitioners I went to see had told me.

Anyway the Reiki Tummo people then told me that kundalini doesn't work with a

normal Reiki attunement. As it drilla a hole from the crown chakra only to the

heart chakra and out through the hands and so the energy cannot release through

the head. They said that there attunements activated the kundalini and drilled a

hole all the way down so that the kundalini went out through the head.

Well I experienced even more sensations when this happened. But I still didn;t

like the experience of the erngy in my hand I also felt everything very

intensely and I was unsure whether it was the right path for me or that i

believed in their philosophy. Eventually anyway I got the attunement removed

from the head guru.

That was a number of years ago still. Since then there have been more new age

people. A crysal healer who told me my kundalini had risen to my neck. A

spiritualist who said that he had got his spirit guide ot shut down my channels.

Another lady who told me i needed to take up sculpture. A lady who claimed to

channel Buddha and Jesus but didn;t seem to help with any of what I was going

through.

Not that I dont appreciate it all and to some degree I think part of it has been

my disbelief that this is what is happening to me, and my difficulty to explain

it to my family or circle of friends or whatever that has kept me isolated.

Looking back I think a lot of the advice people gave me has been good. For

example to stop all the spiritual stuff and take a rest from it for a while has

been good. I have been trying to involve myself more in practical matters, but

thats not to say that I dont still experience all the symptoms.

Another acupuncturist told me to drink carrot juice, while treaing me like a

Parkinsons patient, people have said to go for walks in nature and get outside

and do physical activity.

Dancing seems to help.

I also learnt another energy healing technique called The Reconnection which I

felt guided towards somehow.

I have to admit I had expereinced a lot of paranoia over people telling me I had

entities on me. One time I went to an Ishaya and it seemed everytime she got rid

of one another would come back. People have told me that I was in a lot of

danger, but haven't told me how to get out of it or what to do about it, For the

majority I ahve had to cope with it on my own trying to make sense of all the

myriad of things people have told me that are wrong with me.

I doctor once told me I might have schizophrenia. That scared me and made me

think that my brother might have the same thing. She deduced in five minutes of

talking to me that that is what I had. haha.

I went back to her a year later and she thought differently. I had been to a

psychiatrist and he didn;t think I had anything wrong with me aprt from being

anxious. And I will definitely admit to that. I am anxious about all the

physical symptoms I experience.

Another thing, one regression healer I went to something came out of it. I was

speaking in a childs voice and saying that I had been abused sexually by my

uncle when I was 3. My uncle committed suicide a long time ago. He supposedly

had bipolar disorder.

I have no way of finding out whether this was true. Or whether it was something

that my mind made up to explain everything that has happeend to me. And the

truth is I dont know. The guy who was doing the regression seeemed a bit odd but

it came out of me not from him.

Someitmes I feel like I might have made up something to make it feel like I was

expriencing something, but then I also think that I might be saying that because

I dont want to believe that it happened. I really dont know.

Anyway I have felt at times suicidal through all this. I took up gambling at one

stage. TO be honest it gave me something to do to concentrate on so I could stop

thinking about al the discomfot and sensations and pain in my body. I won at

first and then lost and lost and lost.

I have been having counselling with a counsellor who I find listens and is

helpful.

The doctor put me on anxiety medication. Which seemed to help at least with some

motivational aspect. It seemed to give me more get up and go.

I dont know.. Then I experienced stomach pains and she thinks I might have

ulcers. I felt like it was a reaction to the medication. It could be more

kundalini issues. The truth is I dont know.

And again I was starting to feel a bit despairing, like nothing every works for

me and that every time I think I find some sort of solution something comes and

rips it away from me.

So now I have a Reiki attunement a kundalini syndrome a Reconnection attunement

which I dont know if I should use.

I dont know whether to meditate because I went back the School of Philosophy for

a while and learnt it. I dont know whether to Ascend but I feel like I shoudn't.

I dont know whether my Reiki attunement is dodgy and if it i dont know if there

is anything that can be done about it.

But I stumbled upon this site and at least the symptoms that are talked about

here, I can say that I have expereinced all of them at different times or other.

Funnily enough also I ahve been to chirospractors and osteopaaths for these

pains in my back haha. But no success. They come and go anyway.

And I had tests for epilepsy but nothing.

The kundalini syndrome is the only thing that I can find that seems to describe

my symptoms.

So here I am. HOping to sort the truth from the fiction. Trying to actually jusy

be normal and grounded. Trying to live a life here on earth.

Anyway if anyone actually got through all that. Thanks for listening. Its just

nice to be able to have a space to blurt it all about.

I am sorry if it is a bit lengthy but I didn;t know where to begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Blessings James,

I'm new also & can relate very well.

I would suggest this to you as it helps me:

 

Every AM in mediatation or not. Visualize sending all negativity into the Earth

by sending your roots deep into Mother to hold you in Her Safe, Warm, Love &

bring up Her Healing Green Energy into all your cells. Then send your branches

up to The Universe/ Spirit to connect you to Spirit & bring a White Protective

Light All Around you. See yourself in this Protecton & feel the

Protection...Know IT IS There! Recharge this image very AM or time you feel you

need protection. See if it works for you, does some others not so much.

 

I've also learned that you can release entities that attach to you by calming

yourself & speaking to them kindly; telling them that they can go to the Light &

It is safe for them, they will find the loved ones  & assistance they need to

find their way Home. May take a couple of times cause these are souls that are

lost & afarid; needing whom ever can assist them but their fear is great to move

on. 

Bless You On Your Path may you come to find peace & joy with Spirit.

                                        \

         Blessings/Love/Peace,

                                        \

                              Tara  ; )

--- On Fri, 1/1/10, james_crompton <james_crompton wrote:

 

 

james_crompton <james_crompton

Introduction from James Can anyone make

sense of this.

 

Friday, January 1, 2010, 1:14 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi my name is James

I am 32. Where to begin. I was brought up in an organisation called the School

of Philosophy as a child which taught elements of Advaita Vedanta and taught

meditation with a Sanskrit based matnra. But I never really understood or paid

much attention to it because it was always forced upon me. When I was given the

choice at the age of 16 to leave I took it. In the last two years of school I

experienced a bit of a feeling of disillusionment and a sort of depression and

feelings of isolation an dont fitting in as everyone seemed to change around me.

My brother had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that was also having an

influence on my family life. I began to experience dizzy spells and stress

headaches. I was always very sensitive.

I visited a physio who suggested I take up transcendental meditation but I

resisted the idea as I had a negative view of it from what I had seen in my

family. He then suggested another type of meditation called the Ishayas

Ascension which I went on a weekend course and took up.

Over the next few years I did it with increasing regulatiry finding it helpful

in my life, and went to Ascension weekend sporadialy gaining more Ascension

attitudes as I went along. By the time I finished university Ascnesion had come

an important part of my life, and I was thinking of going to America to train to

teach it. I struggled with my last year of uni experiencing OOS syndrome and not

really feeling motivated to complete it. During those four years though i had

felt more intouch with myself taking up poetry writing and song writing and

acting.

Somewhere round that time period I had an experience of leaving my body and then

soon after I experienced energy moving up my spine. Initially I felt guided to

eat very little and meidtate a lot when it started happening. But it didn't seem

to stop.

I contacted the Ishayas and one of them replied that I was experiencing a

kundalini awakening and that this was a wonderful thing.

It went on though and as it did I began to lose interest in other pursuits and

felt that I had to go to The Ishaya Campus as I felt like I needed to be there

while whatever was happening to me was happening, among other reasons.

Initially it had felt quite blissful but as it went on I began to experience

jerking every time I meditated, pain in my back, cracking of the spine,

headaches and hot flushes, feelings of disconnection and being in a trance like

state, confusion and difficulty focussing on anything of a practical nature.

So I went to America but my experience there wasn't quite what I had imagined.

The " guru " and i put it in speech marks because he never wanted to be someone to

" follow " , had passed away well before and the campus was in a state of disarray

with no clear leader and a lot of people arguing about what was the way forward,

a lack of focus and a lot of destructive behaviour patterns going on. It also

seemed that the dogma that I had tried to escape from the school of philosophy

that I didn't initially experience with Ascension has crept into the campus and

took hold and people seemed at times more interested in upholding dogma than in

what I had initialy felt the teaching was about.

Also there didn't seem to be people there with mcuh of a knowledge about what

was happening to me. In fact I felt a bit judged and didn't really know how to

express what I was feeling about the place. I felt periods of anxiety and I

think sometimes admittedly delusion at times, almost feeling like I was going

through some kind of crucification process.

Anyway I became disillusioned and left and headed for home. It was very

difficult for me adjusting to being back home as for the last four or so months

there, I had been on TEacher Training which I had won a raffle into, and had

been meditating up to 16 hours a day, which I found very difficult to do but it

was somewhat forced upon us. I was even advised against going for runs or walks

or being outside for too long.

Well when I got home I felt a bit disillusioned and didnt really know what to do

with myself. I was still experiencing all the symptoms of kundalini and still

didn;t know what I was to do about it or what I should do with my life. I had

decided I wanted to get abck into acting which I did along with my music and

poetry etc. I was finding it very difficult to meditate but also difficult not

to. I still experienced the disconnection, headached, problems in my backs and

guts and pressure in my head, along with experiences of leaving my body and

flying round the stars.

A friend of mine then introduced me to Reiki, but he had not really been

properly trained in it and I am not sure to this day whether he gave me the

right attunement or made some mistake with it.

Anyway at the time I took to it with a bit too much zest. And started doing it

constantly on myself almost admittedly with the attention of opening myself up

and wanting to experience higher states of consiousness. I did it on my forehead

hoping to open up my third eye and did it on my back to try and get rid of the

pain. But I didn't even really know how to do it other than puttting my hands on

and doing the symbols. Then it seemed like the energy was constantly coming

through me and through my hands. I would often feel fatigued particularly when I

woke up in the morning. And if I did it on other people I would feel very

strange after. Everything felt like a whirling vortex of energy and my body felt

like a volcano. My digestive system seemed ultra sensitive to everything. I

found it hard to eat. I experienced ultra sensitivity to everything especially

things like cigarette smoke around me. I felt almost dizzy and ver ungrounded a

lot of the time.

And then one night I woke up and saw what looked like an angel flying around my

room but then its face turned demonic and it scared the life out of me.

This is when I started seeking help. I went to an acupuncturist with the hope he

might close these channels down. He said that I had opened myself up and that I

needed shutting down. When he put the needles in me I convulsed and jerked. But

I didn't really experience any reliefs from any of the symptoms that I had. He

thought I had entiies around me and I went to a supposed " entity remover " who

then supposedly removed all these entities off me, explaining what they were -

more convulsing and jerking. It still went on. I would feel like every time the

entities would leave and then come abck in again if that is what they were.

He suggested I see a Maori healer and he tried to shut me down with greenstones

digging into my head. They told me to stop meditating but it was almost as

though I was in a constant state of meditation anyway it seemed and perhaps this

was to do with the kundalini, because everything would just seem to open up

again. It was impossible to close it.

I prayed and prayed for help and for God to remove the attunements and to shut

me down, and I experienced all sorts of sensations while doing this but it would

seem everything would just open up again every time soon after without my

control.

I say all this because this is the best way I can describe what has been

happening to me. But the honesty of it all is I dont know what is flawed

thinking and what is true. I dont know what the truth is anymore about my

condition.

I found out about a a thing called Reiki Tummo. And that is where I fisrst heard

the terms " Kundalini Syndrome " . I had read Gop Krishna's book on " kundalini " and

felt that that was what was happening in some way or thoer to me but didn't

really know how to explain this to people, and as mentioned the reiki attunement

had made things worse to a degree as I now experienced a lot more of the

tingling sensations in my hands and crawling sensations and had strange visions

and dreams, and felt like I had holes in my body or that I was wide open or that

energies were entering into me through my hands into my kidney area or that my

lifeforce was leaking out through my hands even at times. Or that I had not

closed off healings or preotected myself which was apparently what a lot of the

alternative practitioners I went to see had told me.

Anyway the Reiki Tummo people then told me that kundalini doesn't work with a

normal Reiki attunement. As it drilla a hole from the crown chakra only to the

heart chakra and out through the hands and so the energy cannot release through

the head. They said that there attunements activated the kundalini and drilled a

hole all the way down so that the kundalini went out through the head.

Well I experienced even more sensations when this happened. But I still didn;t

like the experience of the erngy in my hand I also felt everything very

intensely and I was unsure whether it was the right path for me or that i

believed in their philosophy. Eventually anyway I got the attunement removed

from the head guru.

That was a number of years ago still. Since then there have been more new age

people. A crysal healer who told me my kundalini had risen to my neck. A

spiritualist who said that he had got his spirit guide ot shut down my channels.

Another lady who told me i needed to take up sculpture. A lady who claimed to

channel Buddha and Jesus but didn;t seem to help with any of what I was going

through.

Not that I dont appreciate it all and to some degree I think part of it has been

my disbelief that this is what is happening to me, and my difficulty to explain

it to my family or circle of friends or whatever that has kept me isolated.

Looking back I think a lot of the advice people gave me has been good. For

example to stop all the spiritual stuff and take a rest from it for a while has

been good. I have been trying to involve myself more in practical matters, but

thats not to say that I dont still experience all the symptoms.

Another acupuncturist told me to drink carrot juice, while treaing me like a

Parkinsons patient, people have said to go for walks in nature and get outside

and do physical activity.

Dancing seems to help.

I also learnt another energy healing technique called The Reconnection which I

felt guided towards somehow.

I have to admit I had expereinced a lot of paranoia over people telling me I had

entities on me. One time I went to an Ishaya and it seemed everytime she got rid

of one another would come back. People have told me that I was in a lot of

danger, but haven't told me how to get out of it or what to do about it, For the

majority I ahve had to cope with it on my own trying to make sense of all the

myriad of things people have told me that are wrong with me.

I doctor once told me I might have schizophrenia. That scared me and made me

think that my brother might have the same thing. She deduced in five minutes of

talking to me that that is what I had. haha.

I went back to her a year later and she thought differently. I had been to a

psychiatrist and he didn;t think I had anything wrong with me aprt from being

anxious. And I will definitely admit to that. I am anxious about all the

physical symptoms I experience.

Another thing, one regression healer I went to something came out of it. I was

speaking in a childs voice and saying that I had been abused sexually by my

uncle when I was 3. My uncle committed suicide a long time ago. He supposedly

had bipolar disorder.

I have no way of finding out whether this was true. Or whether it was something

that my mind made up to explain everything that has happeend to me. And the

truth is I dont know. The guy who was doing the regression seeemed a bit odd but

it came out of me not from him.

Someitmes I feel like I might have made up something to make it feel like I was

expriencing something, but then I also think that I might be saying that because

I dont want to believe that it happened. I really dont know.

Anyway I have felt at times suicidal through all this. I took up gambling at one

stage. TO be honest it gave me something to do to concentrate on so I could stop

thinking about al the discomfot and sensations and pain in my body. I won at

first and then lost and lost and lost.

I have been having counselling with a counsellor who I find listens and is

helpful.

The doctor put me on anxiety medication. Which seemed to help at least with some

motivational aspect. It seemed to give me more get up and go.

I dont know. Then I experienced stomach pains and she thinks I might have

ulcers. I felt like it was a reaction to the medication. It could be more

kundalini issues. The truth is I dont know.

And again I was starting to feel a bit despairing, like nothing every works for

me and that every time I think I find some sort of solution something comes and

rips it away from me.

So now I have a Reiki attunement a kundalini syndrome a Reconnection attunement

which I dont know if I should use.

I dont know whether to meditate because I went back the School of Philosophy for

a while and learnt it. I dont know whether to Ascend but I feel like I shoudn't.

I dont know whether my Reiki attunement is dodgy and if it i dont know if there

is anything that can be done about it.

But I stumbled upon this site and at least the symptoms that are talked about

here, I can say that I have expereinced all of them at different times or other.

Funnily enough also I ahve been to chirospractors and osteopaaths for these

pains in my back haha. But no success. They come and go anyway.

And I had tests for epilepsy but nothing.

The kundalini syndrome is the only thing that I can find that seems to describe

my symptoms.

So here I am. HOping to sort the truth from the fiction. Trying to actually jusy

be normal and grounded. Trying to live a life here on earth.

Anyway if anyone actually got through all that. Thanks for listening. Its just

nice to be able to have a space to blurt it all about.

I am sorry if it is a bit lengthy but I didn;t know where to begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

So much good advice has been offered - it is up to you to discern what is best.

Like you I have a hard time looking within for my answers. The difference

between us is that I found chrism before I experienced any major events. Thus I

had guidance and although I admit I would look to seek help outside myself I am

thoroughly fearful of being in a position of entity attachments from sources of

other modalities.

 

All that you describe about the many modalities is why I stay away from them.

Many folks who get into these methods of process do not really know what they

are doing as you described how you went into Reiki and began working on yourself

and others - you really had no idea what it was all about seems to me and I see

the damage that can cause and has caused for so many.

 

I wrote an article called " Uncluttered Kundalini " in it I state how I do not

feel any need to reach out to the many philosophies or modalities that are

available. I have found my source of learning - here on the KAS1 site. Seeking

here or there seems to me to clutter the path and put pitfalls into the journey.

 

You found this site for a reason James- you are here because you need to be

here. You will not find what you need by going to this modality or that one.

You will find what you need within yourself - I agree with the others - keep it

simple- follow the safeties and step back from all you have been thru and begin

anew in this new year.

 

No amount of reiki, ascension philosophy, or whatever is going to help - drugs

especially- I went off all medication when meeting chrism - was on

antidepressants and sleeping pills. It has not been easy the last two years yet

my process has been mild compared to others. I have felt the anxiety - the

suicidal thoughts - the despair - the this the that- and here I sit writing to

you about what has been.

 

I still struggle with my ego self wanting to run the show here - am a very

stubborn independent willful Italian- surrendering and forgiveness I know is

what I need to do - yet so hard to do - try and try and do and do -

 

It is really a good place here in KAS1 land - there are folks in all levels of

process - some are K active some are not - some have had the K syndrome some

have not - some have been exposed to all sorts of entities some have not - some

of us have struggled on our own ( as you have ) some of us were fortunate to

find chrism and the group and do not have the same struggles.

 

There are no accidents as chrism often says- you are here for a reason - you

belong here - so use the offerings here of the safeties, the articles, the

sharing of members and you decide how to proceed. For in the end you are the

one who must choose between seeking from the outside or going inside for the

answers.

 

No one is going to do your work - we all have to surrender to the love of Shakti

- she is a harsh mistress at times yet she ultimately has our best interest at

heart- some of us are just more pig headed than others - me - I am -

 

I thank you for posting your journey - for me it was very timely - I am at a

cross roads where I have to make a decision to do a full practice or potentially

suffer some of what you have experienced and that is not appetizing at all to me

-

 

The fact you are still up and about and functioning is a tribute to your

tenacity. Kundalini folks are survivors - we are stronger than the normal fella

- we have the blessings of Shakti so we have a big advantage on the playing

field of life.

 

Embrace the opportunity you have been given by finding this site and chrism's

program. The sooner the better - ask any questions , share any concerns and be

open to suggestions. If you do these things I guarantee you will in short time

be in a position to honor and accept the gifts you are being offered.

 

Welcome to the KAS1 family ...

e

[Guest guest]

Hello James you have received so much excellent advice and information! For my

part I will suggest that you stop resisting the Kundalini expression within you.

 

Its not going to go anywhere because you wish it away as you have done so much

to gain its expression! So many practices and pursuits of its awakening within

you that now that it is here and you were not expecting such expression you wish

to rewrite your history.

 

Not so uncommon my friend. Having is different than wanting.

 

So no worries about any of your symptoms. Gracefully accept this divine presence

within you and no longer resist the transformation agenda it is exacting upon

you. It all good!

 

You are being fear tested with the entities. Just stop going into such fear over

them. Once you are able to get passed this basic learning your interactions will

be very smooth as you will have jumped beyond the need for protections and many

of the other fear based security issues.

 

You are strong by just being in a body. Entities are there to test your fear.

This is a common attribute of the Kundalini expression.

 

Along with all of the other excellent advice about the safeties and the other

techniques and frames of approach is the main idea, besides the fear removal,

that you can begin to stop your resistance to the Kundalini. Once you do things

get better very fast!

 

You can find a home here James. Many of us including myself have walked where

you are walking. There is a light that beckons you to see, you merely need to

look. -

[Guest guest]

hi james nice to have you here with us.

I read through it all and it wasnt too long at all.

this is what this place is for to vent and share with

others who are compassionate and understanding.

 

- mark

[Guest guest]

James,

 

Blessings to you. A few additional thoughts....

 

We often are drawn to the writings of others who have experienced kundalini.

Not all of these writings are love-based and/or entirely devoid of fear. Yet we

read them because in them we have finally discovered other humans whose

experiences show some parallel to our own, and we are relieved to hear that what

we are experiencing has a name and that there might be some assistance and

guidance available for us.

 

There is, as well, much spiritual literature that is love-based and uplifting.

Through these works, enlightening energy, love, and bliss pour through. You

walk away feeling light and happy.

 

For additional readings on kundalini, I would recommend the articles on the KAS1

web site, the old posts from this board, and some of the material found in the

" files " and " links " sections. In particular, Chrism's writings and energy will

help you immensely, as they have helped me and so many others.

 

Remember that with kundalini, all is amplified. Every thought, emotion, etc.

Both the good and the bad. When you fill yourself with love and inner joy, it

is also amplified! This is why we need to so closely monitor what we allow to

play over and over in our fields of attention. What we read, watch, enter into

conversation about with others, etc., is " food for thought " and helps determine

what plays over and over in our minds (the " programming " safety).

 

Many writers have blessed us with honest and detailed biographies of their own

kundalini experiences. Some of these writers experienced much suffering as part

of their respective processes, sometimes due to lack of qualified guidance.

 

I just want to reassure you that it does not have to be that way for everyone.

You can have a magical and wonder-filled life!

 

Love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

James - I can so relate to much of what you say, especially the line,

" Trying to actually just be normal and grounded. Trying to live life here on

earth. " Like you, I spent a lifetime in search of something more, and as Chrism

said, now wanting to rewrite my history because of it. Also like you, I am

trying to learn more about Kundalini and understand what exactly is happening.

I was completely clueless before being led here three years ago.

 

In the Western world (where I am from) there is much talk about the

benefits of meditation and how it can eliminate stress and bring a person to

altered states of awareness that they portray as being mostly blissful and

evolved. However, most of this information and these sales pitches (for

meditation CD's) speak very little about the sometimes frightening effects for

those who are not properly educated on what can happen if a person invokes this

" Serpent Power " too fast and without proper preparation. I found out the hard

way.

 

The first several years of using these CD's the effects were present, but

mild, so as not to disturb me too much, but instead intrigued me and kept me

going back for more. But last year, the effects came on full force, too fast

and too strong and caused me all kinds of frightening physical problems and I

have not touched them since. But the point is, mine was also brought on by

meditation.

 

In my case, I was seeking to understand God and the mysteries of the

universe and wanting to receive " guidance " from a Higher Power. I wanted to

rise above a lifetime of confusion and find harmony with the Divine and peace of

mind. I did seek escape from a sometimes overwhelming world where I often had

difficulty coping. I wanted to find peaceful insight and answers to my many

questions. I have been intensely curious to understand the truth all of my

life.

 

Because of my lack of education on what I was getting myself into, peace of

mind was not what I found. Like you, I began to fear possession and negative

entities and dark forces. Like Gopi Krishna in his autobiography that I am now

reading, I began to fear the supernatural and wished I had never explored it.

But the tinglings, vibrations and buzzing are a constant reminder that Chrism

appears to be correct when he says that once activated, we cannot turn this off.

As knows, I have tried and strongly resisted this path which seemed so

strange and foreign to me.

 

I feel as though the K is saying to me, " You want to know the truth? Then

you must experience it. "

 

Like David, I believe that we have found ourselves in a position of

magnification, and I now try to seek out and magnify what feels loving and

peaceful. It appears to me that the only thing we CAN control at this point (of

apparently no return) is that which we wish to magnify. This appears to require

discipline of our thoughts and emotions to focus on what the safeties recommend:

Gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, love, etc. It makes so much sense if you

think about it.

 

Apparently, experiencing the real truth means that we influence that which

we experience by what we put our focus on. (Or at least, that which is on the

same level of vibration.) I think this means to extract our faith away from

collective, ego, fear-based beliefs, and towards the possibility of a more

" heaven on earth " scenario. I think we are learning that this is urgent, so as

not to suffer the consequences of falling for the fearful beliefs. I use that

word a lot because it best fits how I feel about it. I think we are being

called to understand the importance of what we choose to believe.

 

On the other hand, as much as it seems to matter where we put our focus, it

also seems obvious that this Energy has the ultimate say so, and knows what is

best for us better than we know what is best for ourselves. So, when we focus

on the safeties, we seem to place ourselves in a position of being in closer

harmony with this Energy. This seems to make for a more pleasant experience,

which must mean that placing our focus in this direction best emulates the

characteristics of this Divine Force.

 

I recently dreamed that I was fussing at my father and told him, " I do not

know what to believe and what not to believe. You have put too much on me. I

am not that strong. " And he said, " Yes you are that strong. You want to know

what not to believe? Stop believing in that which you fear. Blame me if you

want to, but it is the lier who is to blame. "

 

Wishing you all peace of mind. Sorry I always ramble so much.

 

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

James:

 

 

Trying to actually just be normal and grounded. Trying to live a life here on

earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi James,

 

I'm so glad you wrote. I hope you'll keep writing and writing and let it all

come out. You've been on a long journey alone and now you've found your way over

the big hill and around the bend to this welcoming village of people who

understand you and speak your language. So, please, take off your coat and

shoes, put on these slippers, sit here and rest while we fix you something good

to eat and get you something good to drink. You've been on the road a long time,

but you're safe now, and you're in good company.

 

What you're going through is puberty again, with all the ups and downs, all the

physical and emotional and hormonal changes, all the concentration problems and

moodiness, only you've had no one to tell you that what you are going through is

normal -- and beautiful. In the village you come from, the people there go

through puberty only once, then they forget, so when they see someone going

through the Change, they misunderstand. Here, here it is normal. Everyone in

this village has gone through it, or is going through it, or is preparing to go

through the transformation you are experiencing now. So rest awhile. Your body

needs rest and good food to build its chrysalis and paint the wings which will

lift you.

 

Rest here, James, and let yourself renew.

 

Know, too, that we welcome your Song. Sing us your Song, James. Let it Sing you

into being. Let the music of Creation sing the cells of the new You. Sing and

Dance the music of your transformation. Let the gifts you've been given carry

you, emptying your heart, stilling your mind, loosening your body and freeing

your spirit to soar. You have it all within you, James. You've been gifted all

you need for your Journey, and you have found your way here, to this safe and

nurturing village where you can let yourself Be.

 

It seems you've met the children who live along the Road. Mischievous children

who jump from behind boulders and crowd around, teasing, making faces and

pulling pranks. Pay them no mind. They just want to see if you are for real, if

you are worth their admiration. You see, if they can distract you a while, they

feel justified in remaining small. So pay them no mind. Bless them in your

heart, and keep walking. They may put on bigger and scarier costumes for a

while, but if you don't jump, they'll get bored and move on.

 

Some of the braver ones, the ones who already are feeling the glimmerings, they

may find you irresistible, drawn to your light. Sing softly, let your Love

surround them, and keep walking. They may follow alongside you, or maybe they

will stop in fear, or perhaps they may take a side road. Just keep walking.

Eventually they will find their way here. Everyone does.

 

So, Peace to you James, and welcome. I'm glad you made it. Welcome Home.

 

Love,

Shaz

--- james_crompton wrote:

 

> Hi my name is James

[Guest guest]

Hi James

 

I can relate to many of your experiences.

 

Stop meditation or other practice for the moment.

 

I visited so many healers and churches etc Some people scared me saying this or

that! as Deb I did not know what to believe. It has been all part of my journey

and I bless now all these people that tried to help. Don't buy into nothing or

anyone that bring fear.

 

It is VERY important to engage in other activity such as exercise, dancing,

music, or any other thing that makes you happy.

 

I found very beneficial exercise where I need to breathe hard. I came back to

childhood prayers.

 

Don't fear entities " become as nothing " with them. If you give them attention

and fear them is going to be harder. I keep incense at home and sage that helped

me to clean the environment.

 

I got also hyper sensitive to everything ! negativity specially , some food,

some music , TV shows etc etc . It has been moderating gradually. Choose what

you see, what you hear and read. Always surround yourself with high vibration

material.

 

Practice being present (read the power of now from Tolle if you have a chance).

 

I am reading at the moment a book called " am I going mad " from Marlyse Carroll.

It is good helping you understand some basics of awakening and kundalini.

 

Keep strong and don't feel alone.

Monica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

, " james_crompton "

<james_crompton wrote:

>

> Hi my name is James

> I am 32. Where to begin. I was brought up in an organisation called the School

of Philosophy as a child which taught elements of Advaita Vedanta and taught

meditation with a Sanskrit based matnra. But I never really understood or paid

much attention to it because it was always forced upon me. When I was given the

choice at the age of 16 to leave I took it. In the last two years of school I

experienced a bit of a feeling of disillusionment and a sort of depression and

feelings of isolation an dont fitting in as everyone seemed to change around me.

My brother had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that was also having an

influence on my family life. I began to experience dizzy spells and stress

headaches. I was always very sensitive.

> I visited a physio who suggested I take up transcendental meditation but I

resisted the idea as I had a negative view of it from what I had seen in my

family. He then suggested another type of meditation called the Ishayas

Ascension which I went on a weekend course and took up.

> Over the next few years I did it with increasing regulatiry finding it helpful

in my life, and went to Ascension weekend sporadialy gaining more Ascension

attitudes as I went along. By the time I finished university Ascnesion had come

an important part of my life, and I was thinking of going to America to train to

teach it. I struggled with my last year of uni experiencing OOS syndrome and not

really feeling motivated to complete it. During those four years though i had

felt more intouch with myself taking up poetry writing and song writing and

acting.

> Somewhere round that time period I had an experience of leaving my body and

then soon after I experienced energy moving up my spine. Initially I felt guided

to eat very little and meidtate a lot when it started happening. But it didn't

seem to stop.

> I contacted the Ishayas and one of them replied that I was experiencing a

kundalini awakening and that this was a wonderful thing.

> It went on though and as it did I began to lose interest in other pursuits and

felt that I had to go to The Ishaya Campus as I felt like I needed to be there

while whatever was happening to me was happening, among other reasons.

> Initially it had felt quite blissful but as it went on I began to experience

jerking every time I meditated, pain in my back, cracking of the spine,

headaches and hot flushes, feelings of disconnection and being in a trance like

state, confusion and difficulty focussing on anything of a practical nature.

> So I went to America but my experience there wasn't quite what I had imagined.

The " guru " and i put it in speech marks because he never wanted to be someone to

" follow " , had passed away well before and the campus was in a state of disarray

with no clear leader and a lot of people arguing about what was the way forward,

a lack of focus and a lot of destructive behaviour patterns going on. It also

seemed that the dogma that I had tried to escape from the school of philosophy

that I didn't initially experience with Ascension has crept into the campus and

took hold and people seemed at times more interested in upholding dogma than in

what I had initialy felt the teaching was about.

> Also there didn't seem to be people there with mcuh of a knowledge about what

was happening to me. In fact I felt a bit judged and didn't really know how to

express what I was feeling about the place. I felt periods of anxiety and I

think sometimes admittedly delusion at times, almost feeling like I was going

through some kind of crucification process.

> Anyway I became disillusioned and left and headed for home. It was very

difficult for me adjusting to being back home as for the last four or so months

there, I had been on TEacher Training which I had won a raffle into, and had

been meditating up to 16 hours a day, which I found very difficult to do but it

was somewhat forced upon us. I was even advised against going for runs or walks

or being outside for too long.

> Well when I got home I felt a bit disillusioned and didnt really know what to

do with myself. I was still experiencing all the symptoms of kundalini and still

didn;t know what I was to do about it or what I should do with my life. I had

decided I wanted to get abck into acting which I did along with my music and

poetry etc. I was finding it very difficult to meditate but also difficult not

to. I still experienced the disconnection, headached, problems in my backs and

guts and pressure in my head, along with experiences of leaving my body and

flying round the stars.

> A friend of mine then introduced me to Reiki, but he had not really been

properly trained in it and I am not sure to this day whether he gave me the

right attunement or made some mistake with it.

> Anyway at the time I took to it with a bit too much zest. And started doing it

constantly on myself almost admittedly with the attention of opening myself up

and wanting to experience higher states of consiousness. I did it on my forehead

hoping to open up my third eye and did it on my back to try and get rid of the

pain. But I didn't even really know how to do it other than puttting my hands on

and doing the symbols. Then it seemed like the energy was constantly coming

through me and through my hands. I would often feel fatigued particularly when I

woke up in the morning. And if I did it on other people I would feel very

strange after. Everything felt like a whirling vortex of energy and my body felt

like a volcano. My digestive system seemed ultra sensitive to everything. I

found it hard to eat. I experienced ultra sensitivity to everything especially

things like cigarette smoke around me. I felt almost dizzy and ver ungrounded a

lot of the time.

> And then one night I woke up and saw what looked like an angel flying around

my room but then its face turned demonic and it scared the life out of me.

> This is when I started seeking help. I went to an acupuncturist with the hope

he might close these channels down. He said that I had opened myself up and that

I needed shutting down. When he put the needles in me I convulsed and jerked.

But I didn't really experience any reliefs from any of the symptoms that I had.

He thought I had entiies around me and I went to a supposed " entity remover " who

then supposedly removed all these entities off me, explaining what they were -

more convulsing and jerking. It still went on. I would feel like every time the

entities would leave and then come abck in again if that is what they were.

> He suggested I see a Maori healer and he tried to shut me down with

greenstones digging into my head. They told me to stop meditating but it was

almost as though I was in a constant state of meditation anyway it seemed and

perhaps this was to do with the kundalini, because everything would just seem to

open up again. It was impossible to close it.

> I prayed and prayed for help and for God to remove the attunements and to shut

me down, and I experienced all sorts of sensations while doing this but it would

seem everything would just open up again every time soon after without my

control.

> I say all this because this is the best way I can describe what has been

happening to me. But the honesty of it all is I dont know what is flawed

thinking and what is true. I dont know what the truth is anymore about my

condition.

> I found out about a a thing called Reiki Tummo. And that is where I fisrst

heard the terms " Kundalini Syndrome " . I had read Gop Krishna's book on

" kundalini " and felt that that was what was happening in some way or thoer to me

but didn't really know how to explain this to people, and as mentioned the reiki

attunement had made things worse to a degree as I now experienced a lot more of

the tingling sensations in my hands and crawling sensations and had strange

visions and dreams, and felt like I had holes in my body or that I was wide open

or that energies were entering into me through my hands into my kidney area or

that my lifeforce was leaking out through my hands even at times. Or that I had

not closed off healings or preotected myself which was apparently what a lot of

the alternative practitioners I went to see had told me.

> Anyway the Reiki Tummo people then told me that kundalini doesn't work with a

normal Reiki attunement. As it drilla a hole from the crown chakra only to the

heart chakra and out through the hands and so the energy cannot release through

the head. They said that there attunements activated the kundalini and drilled a

hole all the way down so that the kundalini went out through the head.

> Well I experienced even more sensations when this happened. But I still didn;t

like the experience of the erngy in my hand I also felt everything very

intensely and I was unsure whether it was the right path for me or that i

believed in their philosophy. Eventually anyway I got the attunement removed

from the head guru.

> That was a number of years ago still. Since then there have been more new age

people. A crysal healer who told me my kundalini had risen to my neck. A

spiritualist who said that he had got his spirit guide ot shut down my channels.

Another lady who told me i needed to take up sculpture. A lady who claimed to

channel Buddha and Jesus but didn;t seem to help with any of what I was going

through.

> Not that I dont appreciate it all and to some degree I think part of it has

been my disbelief that this is what is happening to me, and my difficulty to

explain it to my family or circle of friends or whatever that has kept me

isolated.

> Looking back I think a lot of the advice people gave me has been good. For

example to stop all the spiritual stuff and take a rest from it for a while has

been good. I have been trying to involve myself more in practical matters, but

thats not to say that I dont still experience all the symptoms.

> Another acupuncturist told me to drink carrot juice, while treaing me like a

Parkinsons patient, people have said to go for walks in nature and get outside

and do physical activity.

> Dancing seems to help.

> I also learnt another energy healing technique called The Reconnection which I

felt guided towards somehow.

> I have to admit I had expereinced a lot of paranoia over people telling me I

had entities on me. One time I went to an Ishaya and it seemed everytime she got

rid of one another would come back. People have told me that I was in a lot of

danger, but haven't told me how to get out of it or what to do about it, For the

majority I ahve had to cope with it on my own trying to make sense of all the

myriad of things people have told me that are wrong with me.

> I doctor once told me I might have schizophrenia. That scared me and made me

think that my brother might have the same thing. She deduced in five minutes of

talking to me that that is what I had. haha.

> I went back to her a year later and she thought differently. I had been to a

psychiatrist and he didn;t think I had anything wrong with me aprt from being

anxious. And I will definitely admit to that. I am anxious about all the

physical symptoms I experience.

> Another thing, one regression healer I went to something came out of it. I was

speaking in a childs voice and saying that I had been abused sexually by my

uncle when I was 3. My uncle committed suicide a long time ago. He supposedly

had bipolar disorder.

> I have no way of finding out whether this was true. Or whether it was

something that my mind made up to explain everything that has happeend to me.

And the truth is I dont know. The guy who was doing the regression seeemed a bit

odd but it came out of me not from him.

> Someitmes I feel like I might have made up something to make it feel like I

was expriencing something, but then I also think that I might be saying that

because I dont want to believe that it happened. I really dont know.

> Anyway I have felt at times suicidal through all this. I took up gambling at

one stage. TO be honest it gave me something to do to concentrate on so I could

stop thinking about al the discomfot and sensations and pain in my body. I won

at first and then lost and lost and lost.

> I have been having counselling with a counsellor who I find listens and is

helpful.

> The doctor put me on anxiety medication. Which seemed to help at least with

some motivational aspect. It seemed to give me more get up and go.

> I dont know. Then I experienced stomach pains and she thinks I might have

ulcers. I felt like it was a reaction to the medication. It could be more

kundalini issues. The truth is I dont know.

> And again I was starting to feel a bit despairing, like nothing every works

for me and that every time I think I find some sort of solution something comes

and rips it away from me.

> So now I have a Reiki attunement a kundalini syndrome a Reconnection

attunement which I dont know if I should use.

> I dont know whether to meditate because I went back the School of Philosophy

for a while and learnt it. I dont know whether to Ascend but I feel like I

shoudn't.

> I dont know whether my Reiki attunement is dodgy and if it i dont know if

there is anything that can be done about it.

> But I stumbled upon this site and at least the symptoms that are talked about

here, I can say that I have expereinced all of them at different times or other.

> Funnily enough also I ahve been to chirospractors and osteopaaths for these

pains in my back haha. But no success. They come and go anyway.

> And I had tests for epilepsy but nothing.

> The kundalini syndrome is the only thing that I can find that seems to

describe my symptoms.

> So here I am. HOping to sort the truth from the fiction. Trying to actually

jusy be normal and grounded. Trying to live a life here on earth.

> Anyway if anyone actually got through all that. Thanks for listening. Its just

nice to be able to have a space to blurt it all about.

> I am sorry if it is a bit lengthy but I didn;t know where to begin.

>

[Guest guest]

Monica,

 

Thank you for your post - there is much wisdom in it! Here are some of the

lines that resonated with me....

 

> It is VERY important to engage in other activity such as exercise, dancing,

music, or any other thing that makes you happy.

 

> I got also hyper sensitive to everything ! negativity specially , some food,

some music , TV shows etc etc . It has been moderating gradually. Choose what

you see, what you hear and read. Always surround yourself with high vibration

material.

>

 

For me this is all part of cultivaing delight. The corollary is turning away

from negativity. To some degree, we can choose our own inner state, often by

choosing on what we place our attention. I like to stick with subject matter

that is bright and happy.

 

Love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

Thanks for this. Have been feeling it on all levels the last few  days..

Sometimes the thouhgts seems so intense and I find it hard to discern between

ego and truth. Between wrong and right and good and bad. Moreover I just find it

hard to make decisions about even mundane things like what to eat. I dont know

which is my Higher Self and which is my ego thinking it is my Higher Self. I

find it hard to discern the truth from the fiction if yo know what I mean. So I

stumble on trying to trust in something but no longer sure what I am trusting

in.

James

 

--- On Sat, 2/1/10, <> wrote:

 

 

<>

Re: Introduction from James Can anyone

make sense of this.

 

Received: Saturday, 2 January, 2010, 2:36 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello James you have received so much excellent advice and information! For my

part I will suggest that you stop resisting the Kundalini expression within you.

 

Its not going to go anywhere because you wish it away as you have done so much

to gain its expression! So many practices and pursuits of its awakening within

you that now that it is here and you were not expecting such expression you wish

to rewrite your history.

 

Not so uncommon my friend. Having is different than wanting.

 

So no worries about any of your symptoms. Gracefully accept this divine presence

within you and no longer resist the transformation agenda it is exacting upon

you. It all good!

 

You are being fear tested with the entities. Just stop going into such fear over

them. Once you are able to get passed this basic learning your interactions will

be very smooth as you will have jumped beyond the need for protections and many

of the other fear based security issues.

 

You are strong by just being in a body. Entities are there to test your fear.

This is a common attribute of the Kundalini expression.

 

Along with all of the other excellent advice about the safeties and the other

techniques and frames of approach is the main idea, besides the fear removal,

that you can begin to stop your resistance to the Kundalini. Once you do things

get better very fast!

 

You can find a home here James. Many of us including myself have walked where

you are walking. There is a light that beckons you to see, you merely need to

look. -