Welcome Bondzai

[Guest guest]

Welcome and blessed journeys to you Bondzai. I recognize you from the

Sufi group and welcome you to this one. Please if you are comfortable

doing so, introduce yourself. Tell us about your kundalini experiences

if you wish to share, and if you do not, be welcome anyway. -

 

[Guest guest]

, " chrism "

<> wrote:

>

> Welcome and blessed journeys to you Bondzai. I recognize you from the

> Sufi group and welcome you to this one. Please if you are comfortable

> doing so, introduce yourself. Tell us about your kundalini experiences

> if you wish to share, and if you do not, be welcome anyway. -

>

>

 

Hello Chrism, Yes thank you for welcoming me to this list! I have

been on sufimystic for many years and still go on there from time to

time.

 

As far as Kundalini goes, I encountered Siddha Yoga a little over

twenty years ago. What happened was I was in AA and the people in

that group taught me about the Serenity Prayer. In that prayer it

says God Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change.

The AA's told me that was everything except me. The courage to change

the things you can, they told me that was me. The wisdom to know the

difference, go back to 1 and 2!

 

So I was convinced that everything not under my control was under

God's. That left only two of us, me and God. The others were gone!

 

Then I read a book that was recovery literature by Jess Lair who is

long deceased by now I believe. He wrote a book called, " I ain't much

baby but I'm all I got! " and this guy liked Muktananda. I was

Catholic at this time, but this book softened me to Muktananda.

Coincidently I was invited to a Siddha Yoga meditation group within a

few weeks. I thought, 'hey, if Jess Lair likes this guy, maybe he is

ok!' So I went.

 

I went to the Ashram in Boston Massachussetts and saw a video of

Gurumayi Chidvilasananda on a Thursday night I think and the next day

I was back in my apartment waking up in the morning and had a dream

vision or subtle vision of Gurumayi who I only saw once in the video

the night before. She told me, 'get up and go to work'. I did this

as I had to go to work in the Shipyard in Portsmouth.

 

People began to notice a change in me right away. Things got better!

Then I bought a book by Muktananda called " Where are you Going " which

is about Kundalini and Shaktipat. I read this book and tried the new

way of meditation that I learned from Muktananda which was to identify

with the mantra and feel it in the heart. When I did this the most

magnificent thing happened to me while in my apartment in Portsmouth

NH. My heart exploded like injected wtih liquid love bright white

light like the sun erupted in my chest! I was lit! Then I ventured

out into town and a woman friend even told me, " you have light coming

out of you! "

 

So I was hooked and began meditating and participating in Siddha Yoga.

After that the Kundalini began working and I went through a lot of

kriyas and various other Kundalini Awakenings as the intensity gained.

I was really pretty well changed right away. My father saw me and

said, " I don't know what you are doing but you better keep doing it

because I have never seen you happy before! " .

 

I had learned to hate myself as a child and a catholic. Muktananda's

essential teaching to me was to love myself, God lives within me as me.

 

I meditated a lot and chanted a lot and went through a large variety

of manifestations of the Kundalini Shakti. I read Baba Muktananda's

book " Play of Consciousness " and had many similar experiences

Muktananda had. Besides this, I definitely became acutely aware of

awareness. I think this was a good thing and was really into the Yoga.

 

My Siddha Center leader said maybe I'd like to live in the Ashram. I

got a job working for the Guru for a couple years. I worked on the

construction crew. I worked my ass off doing construction work and

maybe worked through a lot of stuff. I got to see the Guru a lot,

probably a few hundred times as I got to go to Darshan almost every

day and I was where she was a lot of the time.

 

I found that the Kundalini worked a bit less in the presence of the

Guru and in the Ashram. For me it was stronger when I lived alone

away from the Guru. I think when I was around the Guru I got worked

on more, my stuff was coming up! I got to go to India though which

was interesting. But when I left the Ashram, I went back to visit and

when I did, I had the distinct feeling of an energy supporting me and

feeling at home.

 

By living in the Ashram, I really got deeply into the culture of

Siddha Yoga which is a little beyond just doing it at a distance. Not

necessarily better, but it gives you a broader perspective.

 

In about 1989 I left the ashram and wanted to live on the outside

again and moved back to Connecticut where I was raised. Since then I

continue to do a meditation practice and have had experiences of the

Kundalini on and off more or less for years and years. Over twenty

years because I came into Siddha Yoga in about 1985. My awareness of

it is about as strong as I pay attention to it.

 

I have sensations that I did not have before I began Siddha Yoga.

Examples are sensations on the tongue, forehead and heart. Actually

all over my body and I have awareness that is not necessarily the body

but inside. When I meditate, I still feel the energy of the Kundalini.

Or if I just stop and pay attention.

 

I have done a lot of things but what I have found is if I meditate

more, I find my awareness of Kundalini Shakti to strengthen. It is an

energy of bliss that makes me feel at peace.

 

Now I am working on contemplation and doing focusing practice and

paying attention within as my daily practice. I like to read and

meditate on the Bhagavad Gita. I like to pray. My favorite Christian

book is Brother Lawrence's 'Practicing God's Presence'. I think the

teaching of Brother Lawrence and Bhagavad Gita is the same which is

surrender to God and love of God (Kundalini/Holy Spirit).

 

I am still growing in my knowledge of the Kundalini (which is the

Guru, the Holy Spirit, the Counselor, the one Jesus said he would

leave with people, which is true Guidance), by learning how to pay

attention within. My focusing practice is helping me to befriend my

own self within which is the energy of the Self the Kundalini.

 

So as you might gather I like focusing right now.

 

But I will say that if a person can devote himself to repeating the

mantra, and when I do this it happens, the Kundalini gets very strong.

The bliss gets strong.

 

So what I need to do is repeat the mantra or watch the breath. But

its not necessarily as easy as it sounds. I think maybe having a

group or a culture to live within helps to be vigilant in Japa.

 

I am curious about this group how you all support each others efforts

in getting closer to God.

 

Paul