A Short Story

[Guest guest]

well, i had a bad day yesterday. someone was giving out vegan, soy

nuggets, cooked and they looked so interesting i had to try them. i

knew it would be a mistake but if i didn't try them i'd obsess on

them endlessly so i figured i might as well get it over with. my

energy dropped very soon after eating them so i went to some

cigarrettes to lift my mood, had a couple pretzels, and then binged

on a bunch of cooked vegetarian and animal product food when i got

home. the person i live with has that kind of stuff here.

 

the good news is i didn't drink or act out sexually so i'm happy

about that. as an alcoholic a few drinks will never satisfy me and

had i overdrank i'd be sick today and it would be hard to be raw

today. but i am raw again today and i plan to keep it, i'm just

going to let yesterday go as one of those things.

 

i can't describe how important it is for me to stay to my produce

diet, it's the only way my energy is balanced and the only way i feel

truly happy, joyous and free. if i eat anything out of this

category, if i consume anything orally outside of raw, plant food,

i'm going to get depression, sadness, anxiety, etc. to one degree or

another. that's just the way it is for me and i've spent the last

fifteen years trying to accept it and fight it.

 

but i've got to get out of the all or nothing mentality, normally

when i eat non-raw i drink too in a what the hell attitude. but

things could come along foodwise just i fail on and eat and i simply

can't ruin the next day or subsequent days by going on an alcoholic

sickness run. i have to grow up. my punishment for eating outside

of raw is some anxiety and a drop in my joy level, and i just have to

accept the punishment for the crime. i've always thought it unfair i

should feel this way since so many cooked eaters are perfectly happy

with the way they eat but each person's different and i have to

accept how my mind and mentality work.

 

quite frankly, i believe it's spirit or god who doles out the happy

or negative emotions depending on his will for someone and that

persons obedience to same. in other words, go into something that

you know is not god's will for you and you're going to go through

some measure of negative emotions. and the further i go into non-raw

eating the worse the anxiety gets like if i drink or masturbate.

 

but i kept my sobrieties in these two areas. i have a few weeks away

from each. no sex of any kind right now is important for me to heal

sexually, i have a lot of emotions coming up behind no sex,

especially in the dream state and i know if i ever want to fully rid

my self of lust i have to go sexless for probably a few years. and

if i engage in sex of any kind, except a marriage where the goal is

procreation, i'll be starting over in terms of my healing. and i'm

tired of starting over in this area of life.

 

but i got enough sleep to reset, i'm so happy that spiritually

somehow a person can reset into their happy place just by the

clearing out process, the rejuvenating process, the whatever goes on

in the sleep state process and get a fresh day the next day. i can't

reset in the same day. once i eat cooked i'm doomed to anxiety and a

dip in my high energy level, a lack of the peace and the joy i was

feeling raw, to one degree or another.

 

that's why i advocate this diet, that's why i try so hard to maintain

it. because of how i feel not eating raw. if i didn't go through

that kind of emotion not eating raw i wouldn't care about the diet,

but i'm meant to be a raw, produce eater and this fact is not going

to change in my lifetime, this is plainly evident after 15 years of

the same emotions when i'm raw and when i'm not raw. why go on

fighting it, no one care but me about my little battles. i

definitely have to let go of this all or nothing mentality, i have to

let myself fail a little, if it happens, and not go completely

overboard with it. that would be maturity, it's fun to try to

imitate god with the all or nothing mentality but it's getting old

for me.

 

so i plan to have a nice, peaceful happy day raw here and do what i

usually do. it's probably good that something like that happened

right at the beginning of my time on Penn campus as i go there

frequently for events and there's often free food available. i'll be

staying away from their free items, except for the raw produce, for

the rest of the semester.

 

it was funny, i was stumbled into a nicotine anonymous meeting

yesterday as i was going to an aa meeting, but i was late and i heard

some noise in another room so i walked in there, not sure where the

meeting was, and it happened to be a nicotine anonymous meeting.

i've never had a bad smoking habit but i can bluff my way through any

12-step meeting so i stayed and listened and shared about being away

from cigarettes for three weeks. i've been a little bit addicted to

them over the years but nothing i couldn't quit when i wanted to.

 

basically when i'm raw every other addiction fades away quickly,

that's how my mind works at this point after all these years of

trying to be raw, all the mental processing and healing that i've

done. all the work i've done trying to be raw, staying raw, going in

and out of raw but always trying to maintain it, has not been in

vain. it's very easy for me to get raw quickly and like i said, that

same day, regardless of going into every addiction the previous day,

all my other addictions are easily arrested and not even thought

about. that's the grace of god for living in his will.

 

well, i'm just going to go have a raw day and sin no more as it

were. i know how cooked affects me, i know it will never change in

my lifetime, so i just have to get over taste addiction. those

cooked soy nuggets, about the size of chicken nuggets were very

tasty, including the barbeque sauce, but what it does to my mentality

is not worth it.

 

cooked food is definitely an addiction for me, the subtlest and the

hardest to overcome. but what comes after that first bite of cooked

is not worth it to me, so i need to stay completely in my produce

diet 100% everday for the rest of my life if i want any growth in

this lifestyle. i can't imagine my spiritual growth can be about the

food forever, there has to come a time when i have freedom of choice

as to what i eat, but that time is not now, nor anywhere in the

forseeable future. the only requirement and the only way i can grow

spiritually right now is to maintain my produce diet. i guess that's

why i've fought it for 15 years, because like a little child, i want

to stamp my feet and say this isn't fair, plus i like to experiment

with all sorts of experiences and life practices or lifestyles, so

being a drunk has had it's interest.

 

but i just finished secular summer drunk i call it. i went to a

bunch of secular activities, like zoos and museum, lectures and fairs

and such, instead of the spiritual activities, new age groups, church

groups, various religious or spiritual groups, 12-step meetings,

etc., that i had spent most of my life going to. there's just no

interesting lifestyle i can live with drinking again. secular

activities from a drinking perspective was fairly interesting, i

think i learned a lot from a different perspective. but where can i

take drinking from there? that's probably most of the reason why i

decided not to even try to just have a few drinks last night.

 

well i'm usually pretty pithy on here but i think i just wrote a book

today. well, it takes longer to explain not being raw than it does

to be raw. hopefully i won't have to do this again. and i can climb

back up on my self-righteous horse and sneer, snicker and inward

laugh at all the cooked eaters out there. but if i don't maintain it

for at least a few years consecutive, i really don't have a righteous

leg to stand on. still, i like the blessing of god to feel so good

when i'm on my diet, like right now, and it just comes natural to

condemn non-raws. fortunately i have enough awareness, self-

analysis, and introspection to at least be aware of the fact that i'm

doing that.

 

well, i just spent an hour talking about myself, i hope i got

something out of it. have a wonderful raw day everyone and don't do

anything i wouldn't do.

 

Secular Summer Drunk is my chapter title for my life experience of

most of this summer. i come up with titles for books all the time, i

should right start writing them down and make a book out of my book

titles, i never get further along than the title. but they sound so

cool at the time.

 

rich

 

www.rawfoodeaters

[Guest guest]

Keep coming back!

 

--- Froggy <seconaphim wrote:

 

> well, i had a bad day yesterday. someone was giving

> out vegan, soy

> nuggets, cooked and they looked so interesting i had

> to try them. i

> knew it would be a mistake but if i didn't try them

> i'd obsess on

> them endlessly so i figured i might as well get it

> over with. my

> energy dropped very soon after eating them so i went

> to some

> cigarrettes to lift my mood, had a couple pretzels,

> and then binged

> on a bunch of cooked vegetarian and animal product

> food when i got

> home. the person i live with has that kind of stuff

> here.

>

> the good news is i didn't drink or act out sexually

> so i'm happy

> about that. as an alcoholic a few drinks will never

> satisfy me and

> had i overdrank i'd be sick today and it would be

> hard to be raw

> today. but i am raw again today and i plan to keep

> it, i'm just

> going to let yesterday go as one of those things.

>

> i can't describe how important it is for me to stay

> to my produce

> diet, it's the only way my energy is balanced and

> the only way i feel

> truly happy, joyous and free. if i eat anything out

> of this

> category, if i consume anything orally outside of

> raw, plant food,

> i'm going to get depression, sadness, anxiety, etc.

> to one degree or

> another. that's just the way it is for me and i've

> spent the last

> fifteen years trying to accept it and fight it.

>

> but i've got to get out of the all or nothing

> mentality, normally

> when i eat non-raw i drink too in a what the hell

> attitude. but

> things could come along foodwise just i fail on and

> eat and i simply

> can't ruin the next day or subsequent days by going

> on an alcoholic

> sickness run. i have to grow up. my punishment for

> eating outside

> of raw is some anxiety and a drop in my joy level,

> and i just have to

> accept the punishment for the crime. i've always

> thought it unfair i

> should feel this way since so many cooked eaters are

> perfectly happy

> with the way they eat but each person's different

> and i have to

> accept how my mind and mentality work.

>

> quite frankly, i believe it's spirit or god who

> doles out the happy

> or negative emotions depending on his will for

> someone and that

> persons obedience to same. in other words, go into

> something that

> you know is not god's will for you and you're going

> to go through

> some measure of negative emotions. and the further

> i go into non-raw

> eating the worse the anxiety gets like if i drink or

> masturbate.

>

> but i kept my sobrieties in these two areas. i have

> a few weeks away

> from each. no sex of any kind right now is

> important for me to heal

> sexually, i have a lot of emotions coming up behind

> no sex,

> especially in the dream state and i know if i ever

> want to fully rid

> my self of lust i have to go sexless for probably a

> few years. and

> if i engage in sex of any kind, except a marriage

> where the goal is

> procreation, i'll be starting over in terms of my

> healing. and i'm

> tired of starting over in this area of life.

>

> but i got enough sleep to reset, i'm so happy that

> spiritually

> somehow a person can reset into their happy place

> just by the

> clearing out process, the rejuvenating process, the

> whatever goes on

> in the sleep state process and get a fresh day the

> next day. i can't

> reset in the same day. once i eat cooked i'm doomed

> to anxiety and a

> dip in my high energy level, a lack of the peace and

> the joy i was

> feeling raw, to one degree or another.

>

> that's why i advocate this diet, that's why i try so

> hard to maintain

> it. because of how i feel not eating raw. if i

> didn't go through

> that kind of emotion not eating raw i wouldn't care

> about the diet,

> but i'm meant to be a raw, produce eater and this

> fact is not going

> to change in my lifetime, this is plainly evident

> after 15 years of

> the same emotions when i'm raw and when i'm not raw.

> why go on

> fighting it, no one care but me about my little

> battles. i

> definitely have to let go of this all or nothing

> mentality, i have to

> let myself fail a little, if it happens, and not go

> completely

> overboard with it. that would be maturity, it's fun

> to try to

> imitate god with the all or nothing mentality but

> it's getting old

> for me.

>

> so i plan to have a nice, peaceful happy day raw

> here and do what i

> usually do. it's probably good that something like

> that happened

> right at the beginning of my time on Penn campus as

> i go there

> frequently for events and there's often free food

> available. i'll be

> staying away from their free items, except for the

> raw produce, for

> the rest of the semester.

>

> it was funny, i was stumbled into a nicotine

> anonymous meeting

> yesterday as i was going to an aa meeting, but i was

> late and i heard

> some noise in another room so i walked in there, not

> sure where the

> meeting was, and it happened to be a nicotine

> anonymous meeting.

> i've never had a bad smoking habit but i can bluff

> my way through any

> 12-step meeting so i stayed and listened and shared

> about being away

> from cigarettes for three weeks. i've been a little

> bit addicted to

> them over the years but nothing i couldn't quit when

> i wanted to.

>

> basically when i'm raw every other addiction fades

> away quickly,

> that's how my mind works at this point after all

> these years of

> trying to be raw, all the mental processing and

> healing that i've

> done. all the work i've done trying to be raw,

> staying raw, going in

> and out of raw but always trying to maintain it, has

> not been in

> vain. it's very easy for me to get raw quickly and

> like i said, that

> same day, regardless of going into every addiction

> the previous day,

> all my other addictions are easily arrested and not

> even thought

> about. that's the grace of god for living in his

> will.

>

> well, i'm just going to go have a raw day and sin no

> more as it

> were. i know how cooked affects me, i know it will

> never change in

> my lifetime, so i just have to get over taste

> addiction. those

> cooked soy nuggets, about the size of chicken

> nuggets were very

> tasty, including the barbeque sauce, but what it

> does to my mentality

> is not worth it.

>

> cooked food is definitely an addiction for me, the

> subtlest and the

> hardest to overcome. but what comes after that

> first bite of cooked

> is not worth it to me, so i need to stay completely

> in my produce

> diet 100% everday for the rest of my life if i want

> any growth in

> this lifestyle. i can't imagine my spiritual growth

> can be about the

> food forever, there has to come a time when i have

> freedom of choice

> as to what i eat, but that time is not now, nor

> anywhere

=== message truncated ===

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

trim your posts, just ask roger, and yes, i plan to keep coming back.

 

rawfood , Mickey Maynard <mrex275> wrote:

> Keep coming back!