Feeling Deprived (WAS: Relearning to eat)

[Guest guest]

Whoa! If I hadn't seen 's name at the end of her post, I

would've thought that I'd written it without knowing it.

absolutely put into words what has happened to me with very little

difference.

 

In preparation for a fast, I was following suggestions on preparing my

body. My diet was extremely limited and included zero fat. (Similar to

Frederic's " cleanse. " ) I don't remember how long I lasted. A little

over a week, I think. Then emotional stuff came up for me. Some was

caused by familial circumstances and my current inability to deal with

them. Some was caused by my feelings of deprivation.

 

The emotional breakdown resulted in me feeling like there wasn't

enough food in the world for me. I would watch myself, even think

about the horrible things I was doing to myself, and I couldn't stop.

I didn't even like the physical symptoms that appeared instantly

(stiff joints, edema, " leaky " ears and eyes in the morning, etc.).

Still, the fruits and veggies went to waste while I reached instead

for refined sugars and carbs, and fats. Worst of all, I became really

depressed. I haven't left the house in two days (I've ignored my pager

calling me to a Search & Rescue mission), and have slept in until 10AM

the last two mornings. (I usually *love* mornings and get up early.)

 

Today is my first day back to being all raw, and I've been eating

almost constantly (bananas, apple/wheatgrass juice, watermelon, and an

enormous salad with olive oil). I'll probably have to go to bed soon

to save myself from any thinking of checking the cupboards for

something else. I don't know what to do to keep the emotions at bay. I

considered taking my tent and sleeping bag, some bananas and

watermelon, and going out into the woods for three days...

 

There was a recurring thought through all this.... I learned in a

class several years ago that our results tell the truth about us. In

other words, it doesn't matter how much I talk about how being healthy

is important to me. If I'm not healthy or working toward being

healthy, then basically I'm telling a lie. So the angel sitting on one

shoulder was reminding me of how I want to be healthy, strong, agile,

and at the perfect weight for me. The devil on the other shoulder was

pointing out that my actions tell a different story.

 

This is longer than I intended. Mostly I just want to thank for

putting my current feelings into words. I am truly miserable right now.

 

Annette

(Washington State)

 

rawfood , <down2earthspirit> wrote:

> Well, I was on my way to 80% raw when my inner child completely

threw a tantrum about the lack of fat in my diet. That is why I was so

intrigued by these comments. Plus diebetes runs in the family and I

have experienced hypoglycemia in my lifetime. I actually didn't miss

the sugar (surprise) as much as I thought, but I had an very strong

emotional reaction to the lack of fat and was not able to continue

eating so much raw. I may have had a physical reaction to but the

emotional was so strong, couldn't tell. AND that was only after 2

weeks. Now I feel panic everyt ime I think of going back to a diet so

high in raw. I can't even make myself eat the lettuce I have in the

fridge and I don't have the extra money to waste food.