New parent/Old Vegan...Laura

[Guest guest]

Hi Laura,

 

I was wondering if it has been difficult for your son to be vegan in

social settings with other kids who aren't vegan...especially now that

he is getting older and peer influence is becoming more imortant? I

like to think that if parents model a certain behavior, teach the

lessons that go along with the behavior, and live their lives in a way

that elicits respect from their children, the children will have no

problem maintaining a behavior when it's not the norm. But I have

heard story of boys giving up being vegetarian as they got older and

other boys began to tease them about not eating meat...of course the

boys' fathers weren't veg*n, like my hubby. I'd like to move my son to

a vegan diet (pretty much, he's almost there except the cheese and

occassional ice cream), but I don't know if it would be difficult for

him socially when he's older, and if I should take the middle ground

of vegetarianism, in hopes that through education from me, he'll make

his own decision to go vegan when he's older. I wonder if I should not

risk a bad experience with veganism now, which might make him want to

give up on all of it. Thanks for any input.

 

Lisa

 

, VAP79 wrote:

>

>

> Dear Susan,

> Welcome!

> Congrats on your wonderful new son. I teach natural childbirth and

am a

> doula. I don't have many clients with babies in the NICU. But, when

it happens,

> everyone gets a lesson in patience and listening skills.

> It's wonderful that the staff got the opportunity to see a vegan

baby thrive!

> My son is 10 yrs old now and vegan since birth. I am a big believer in

> rotating foods. That goes for my son and husband as well as myself.

So, since we

> have a fair amount of soy in our diet, I limit the soy milk. I did

nurse my son

> a few months past 2 yrs old. For that period of time. Water was the

only

> drink he got. I introduced rice milk first a little at a time. We

rotate, rice,

> almond and hazelnut milk. I can't deal with oat milk! We eat tofu a

few times

> a week. He likes soy cheese, so a couple times a week. Soy hot

dogs, burgers

> and fake meats a couple times a week. I use miso and tempeh as

well. Soy

> yogurt once or twice a week.

> We sometimes eat soy twice a day, but never every meal. I do my best

to have

> other legumes through the day and week.

> Sometimes I make smoothies, I use hemp protein, rice protein or the

veggie

> protein rather than soy.

> Hope that helps.

> Laura

>

> I was also looking at the archives and seeing some discussion about

soy

> (evil or not) and I'd like an example of how much soy your kids are

eating in a

> day...is there too much? I spoke with the VRG ask a nutrionist, and

he gave

> me some idea...but Max drinks Silk Enhanced....about 28 ounces a day

and he

> loves soy yogurt....now if I add in tofu or tempeh or any

analog...is it too

> much?

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lisa,

I will tell you that my son has been vegan from birth. I have taught him

that we do not eat animals or by products because it hurts the animals. Also

that it is our responsibility to take care of our bodies so that we can live a

healthy and long life. My son is unique besides being vegan. He has a hearing

impairment. He is profoundly deaf since birth. He has a cochlear implant that

allows him to hear. He has been implanted since 2 yrs. So, he considers

himself mostly hearing.

He is very comfortable being different. At school many children bring their

lunches.

My husband is veg. He does eat junk food with dairy etc.

My son is very comfortable going to parties and bringing his food. We are

lucky that there are so many choices in our area. We can go to Whole Foods,

Trader Joe's or several coops in the area to get cupcakes, muffins, etc.

One of the ways to get my son to be more inspired to read was to teach him

about label checking. He is more vigilant than I now. He talks to his friends

about being vegan and what he eats without any tension.

My son knows that when he is older and out of my house he will be able to

make many choices for himself. My husband does most of the cooking, so my son

cooks with him.

There is always talk about marrying someone who is vegan.

Hope this makes some sense.

Feel free to ask more. How old is your son?

Peace,

Laura

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Lisa,

 

My daughter is only 35 months old, so I don't have experience in this

either. However, I have drawn some conclusions that, at least for the

time being, I think will work for us. My vegan husband and I do have

experiences from our own (non-vegan) childhoods that have led to

these conclusions.

 

I believe it is a parent's job to educate her child and then to

eventually let go. There comes a point when we must trust our own

parenting and our child's ability to make decisions that are right

for her. Of course, in between is the horrible puberty/adolescent

period that makes everyone pull out their hair. But during this time,

the child still lives in the safety of her parents' grasp

(hopefully). Also a parent has a right to live in the sanctuary she

has built in her home. While this is all philosophical, it is my

foundation.

 

I am frequently asked if I will " allow " dd to eat dairy or meat when

she is older and at what age? I respond that I equate this to " when

will I allow my dd to practice a religion I do not believe in or to

drink alcohol or take drugs or have sex? " I then say that I do not

have blinders and remember well when I was a teenager. I understand

questioning the status quo and peer pressure. I fully expect this to

happen with dd and would be disappointed if I raise a child that

cannot question and think on her own. But, I will teach her why I

believe the way I do and I will control her diet as long as I can. I

will give her the tools for making vegan decisions when she is not

with me. When/if she feels the need to eat outside the vegan diet,

she will know that I don't condone it but understand there are some

things over which I must relinquish control. However, she will never

stray from a vegan diet in MY house. I don't allow ANYONE to bring

non –vegan items (except the clothes on their back) into my home. My

house is my sanctuary. It is hers too, but once she starts behaving

outside our beliefs, she cannot bring that behavior into the

sanctuary, nor will I pay for it. This does not mean that I won't " be

there for her " or that I will turn my back on her. There will be

plenty of opportunity to eat elsewhere. If she eats this way from

peer pressure, then I'll be the bad guy at home and she won't have to

worry about teasing from her friends. Of course I plan to do my best

with helping her with self-esteem and confidence. I will also do my

best to accept that she may not hold my beliefs for a time or for her

lifetime.

 

You said " I like to think that if parents model a certain behavior,

teach the

lessons that go along with the behavior, and live their lives in a way

that elicits respect from their children, the children will have no

problem maintaining a behavior when it's not the norm…of course the

boys' fathers weren't veg*n, like my hubby. I'd like to move my son to

a vegan diet (pretty much, he's almost there except the cheese and

occassional ice cream), but I don't know if it would be difficult for

him socially when he's older, and if I should take the middle ground

of vegetarianism, in hopes that through education from me, he'll make

his own decision to go vegan when he's older. "

 

I agree that whatever a child is used to is normal for that child.

But kids are indeed teased about what is normal – acne, large

breasts, small breasts, large hips, long legs, skinny, hair color,

clothes, money, parents' jobs, religion, adoption, raised by

grandparents, etc. – you just can't get away from it. This is not

just a veganism question. We as parents make many decisions that are

not popular with our children, but we do it for their own good. We

need to remember to give children tools and not just rules and

ultimatums. An important point is allowing your child a lot of

autonomy on other issues. Don't control everything. Otherwise, a

child won't be able to tell what is truly important to you and will

also be suffocated enough to rebel. She won't feel as though you

trust her or understand her. You will lose any respect you may have

had.

 

Since you are a mixed household, you could control your son's diet

for as long as possible then allow vegetarian habits at home while

refusing meat in the house. The adults I have spoken with that had

veg*an parents that allowed them to " stray " as children/ teenagers

never went back (allowed them to eat however they wished in the

house). And they are all regretful but won't do anything about it.

(I `m sure there are others who did return to a veg*n diet. They're

just not in my circle.)

 

I don't know if this helped you. I just think that veganism should be

included in the big picture rather than singled out – otherwise it

won't be the norm. Peer pressure and teasing happens. You need to

decide what is high on your priority list and let go of the other. As

you have read, veganism is high on my list but you may decide

otherwise.

 

Good luck,

Carrol

 

PS Please don't think that I intend to tell my daughter it is okay

for her to use drugs or engage in illegal or immoral activities as

long as she is not in my house. When I said " she will know that I

don't condone it but understand there are some things over which I

must relinquish control, " I don't mean that I will just turn my back

on any activity outside of the home. I mean that I will educate her

and make sure she knows how to protect herself in different

situations. I will find someone she can talk with if she doesn't feel

comfortable bringing up a topic with me. I may not want her to have

premarital sex, but I do believe in sex education. She will have

limits and curfews like any other child. Know what I mean?

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Laura and Carrol for your thoughtful replies. I'm in a bit of a rush

right now, but I did want to thank you!

 

 

Lisa

Northern VA/DC/Maryland Veg*n Playgroup

vegetarianchildren/