When Canadians Go Seal Clubbing (Good read))

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Fw: [animalscanada-news] When Canadians Go

Clubbing (Rachel Marsden)

 

 

opinioneditorials.com

March 16, 2006

 

When Canadians Go Clubbing

Rachel Marsden

 

For Canada to register a blip on the American media

radar nowadays, it usually takes something really

outlandish. So when CNN's Larry King devotes an entire

show to chatting with ex-Beatle Paul McCartney and his

wife about Canada, as he did recently, you know there

has to be some major moronic activity registering

north of the border.

 

Indeed, there is. In the next few days, some Canadians

will cover their eyes while others, like myself,

cringe in embarrassment as east coast Newfoundlanders

kick off their annual clubbing season. Not because

they have the rhythm of a first round reject from

American Idol, but because some Newfies' idea of

getting jiggy with it consists of hitting the ice

floes and driving giant spikes through the skulls of

fuzzy little newborn seals.

 

Is there no McDonald's or Taco Bell in Newfoundland?

Is food so scarce in during the wintertime that these

folks have to chow down on seal meat? Hardly. The seal

hunt exists for a single reason: So Gucci, Versace,

Prada, Marni, and Petit Nord can deck out their runway

models in seal fur or skin, and impress the last

remaining twenty or so mouth-breathing morons with

more money than brains who haven't heard of faux-fur.

 

You won't hear much criticism of the seal hunt in the

Canadian media-if only because no one wants to be

accused of picking on a group of people about whom

there are already enough jokes to fill five HBO Dennis

Miller pay-per-view specials.

 

If Newfoundlanders want to curtail the Newfie jokes,

may I suggest refraining from whacking defenseless

critters over the head just because someone pays you

to do it? A lot of things pay well-sliding naked up

and down a brass pole in front of a beer-chugging

audience, for example-but, come on, whatever happened

to moral standards and a sense of decency?

 

Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams argued on the King

show that the seal population is booming and there

aren't enough fish for both Newf and seal. Does this

guy even realize what the heck he's saying? Biology

101: If there were no fish, the seals would be dying,

not thriving. Nature had no problem balancing itself

out long before God created Newfies.

 

But for the sake of argument-given that this was a

major point of debate between Williams and the

McCartneys during the King show--let's say the seals

really were handing you your butt on a platter during

fishing season. How about showing a tad more

gamesmanship? Why not rip a page out of the Survivor

playbook and try to " outwit, outplay, and outlast " the

seals, rather than, say, showing up at the first

tribal council, bashing in the skulls of all your

competitors, and then sitting back and cracking open a

Budweiser. If you're trying to dispel the stereotype

of the " lazy Newfoundlander " , this isn't helping your

cause.

 

Between 300,000 and 400,000 seals are brutally and

senselessly slaughtered every year because my

country-the same one that so righteously views itself

as a global defender of justice and humanity--can't

bring itself to keep whack-happy Newfs off the ice

floes. Others like Italy, the USA, Greenland and

Mexico have already banned seal products, yet Canada

continues to demonstrate its inhumanity with one of

the few issues over which it has absolute control.

 

Our government also doesn't have a problem with free

assembly-as long as the gathering doesn't happen to

occur between a seal hunter and his target. Eleven

members of the Sea Shepherd Society were recently

sentenced to 22 days in jail as a result of hanging

out too close to the slaughter.

 

While the previous Liberal government may have allowed

the hunt for east coast vote buying reasons, the new

Conservative regime under Prime Minister Stephen

Harper has missed a prime opportunity to act on all

that " respect for life " talk. I didn't think that

Harper would be quite so quick to cop-out and hide

behind Williams' hip waders-sending a provincial

representative to speak on behalf of the Prime

Minister, on an internationally televised program,

about an issue that reflects so poorly on all

Canadians.

 

And Harper isn't the only self-described right-winger

to play the hypocrite on this issue. It amazes me how

so many of my fellow conservatives who, last year,

advocated rewriting the law to keep a brain-dead Terri

Schiavo alive, and who demand respect for unborn

fetuses, also happen to be in favour of this useless

killing spree.

 

This is one of the few issues where I consistently see

right-wingers acting like liberals. Either you're a

conservative who respects life, or you aren't. Smarten

up.

 

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Rachel Marsden is a political columnist and the

Canadian Correspondent for " The O'Reilly Factor " on

Fox News and a political columnist with the Toronto

Sun. rachel

 

 

###

 

Rachel Marsden (rachelmarsden.com) is a public affairs

and communications strategist, media commentator,

columnist and talk show host who has worked in

politics and media in the United States and Canada.

 

rachelmarsden