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Depression and avoidance of possible failure.

 

You need to try switching study methods, see if you can find a way into

the material that doesn't bring up this self-destructive apathy.

 

You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't get that degree,

and if you fail the test the advantage is that then you'll have taken it

once, so the next time around won't be nearly as bad a surprise.

 

And besides, I'm sure you'll pass. Don't let this last-minute stage

fright get you down .

 

 

On Monday, March 15, 2004, at 03:15 AM,

wrote:

 

> Sun, 14 Mar 2004 09:32:25 -0800

> " Megan Milligan " <yasminduran

> (OT) HELP!

>

> hey guys beena while since i posted, but i need some advice or personal

> insights, etc. i have a bit of a personal dilemma. i have absolutely no

> motivation to study for my masters degree exam which is 5 weeks from

> tuesday and at points seriously considering throwing the test just so I

> can be free of it, masters degree or no.

>

> i've been going after it in fits & starts since last fall, and having put

> my life on hold for so long after I was supposed to take it back in

> january, I enjoyed having my life back, the painting, writing,

> photography etc. all of which i chucked by the wayside just so i could

> try to finish this f***ing test. I'm tired of it.

>

> And honestly, part of me would have no regrets about it either, because I

> think of putting the test behind me at this exact moment in time, and it'

> s as if a great weight is lifted from my shoulder and I finally feel i'm

> free to live my life without this hanging over my head. I'm just tired

> of it. I wanted my life back, and I enjoy having my life back, instead

> of this consuming every single minute of my day & having no time for

> anything, even cleaning my fucking house. (of which for that i'm calling

> a cleaning service)

>

> in my immediate field, having a masters degree really doesn't impact my

> current line of work, but my only concer is later on if i were to switch

> fields, where a masters degree might look better. but i just have no

> desire to do this anymore.

>

> Megan Milligan

> yasminduran

>

" What you are thunders so

that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary. "

-Ralph Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)

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Thanks. :) i'm going to go through with it. I had a momentary lapse this

weekend, I kinda " got away from myself " if that makes any sense. So, the last

few days I've just gotten out of town for a few hours up into nature (red rock

canyon, mt.charleston, etc.) to ground & center myself, and also came to the

conclusion I needed to try to finish this.

 

as for retaking the test, this is it. I'd alreadyf iled my one year extension,

already extending a six-year program, so if I don't get it this time around, I'm

out of the program and have to start from scratch. But on the outside chance if

that were to happen, I still have my communications BA under my belt, and could

look at this as a new opportunity to go for a masters degree or other degree

elsewhere. I'd always kinda toyed with the idea too, of doing something in the

culinary arts (they have a cordon bleu school here now) or maybe veterinary

technician since I love animals so much. my friend also jokes that i'm such a

good vegetarian cook, that i need to write a book of my favorite recipes.

(which maybe i might do at some point).

 

Megan Milligan

yasminduran

Desert Rose Musings (http://www.desertrosemusings.com) (some parts under

construction)

Cal Neva Animal Rescue

(http://www.desertrosemusings.com/calnevarescue/index.htm) (under construction)

 

-

The Stewarts

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 6:21 AM

Find a Way

 

 

Depression and avoidance of possible failure.

 

You need to try switching study methods, see if you can find a way into

the material that doesn't bring up this self-destructive apathy.

 

You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't get that degree,

and if you fail the test the advantage is that then you'll have taken it

once, so the next time around won't be nearly as bad a surprise.

 

And besides, I'm sure you'll pass. Don't let this last-minute stage

fright get you down .

 

 

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