my stance

[Guest guest]

In response to Carin who said:

 

" I have agreed with all of the posters who had advice for Shelly with the

exception of Angel A. Any relationship whether that be in laws, spouse etc,

is truly about respect and trust. "

 

I agree

 

" IMO I fail to see where your in-laws respect your decisions about

your daughter. "

 

I never told my in-laws what they could or could not feed my

daughter. So I never meant to imply my in-laws don't respect me. I

cook vegetarian, and often vegan, but my husband is an omnivore. I am

veg for health reasons, so my husband and I have a respect, and

agreement, between us on how we will raise our child.

 

" Moreover how can you trust them

to know that they would not feed your daughter meat when you are not there? "

 

I can't, because I never told them not too. They know I don't have

meat in the house. And you know what -- they have fed

her meat once or twice, that they made because it was a favorite dish

of my husband's. They always ask what they should feed her, and if I

answer with a specific meal, they abide.

 

" Perhaps you are not vegan and feeding your daughter " tastycakes " and milk

are agreeable to you. "

 

While these are things I would not feed my daughter, I am not

technically vegan.

 

" I absolutely think that this sends the wrong message

to the child that some foods are acceptable if Grandpa offers them to you. "

 

I can see that point, but I also know that when I was in elementary

school, the kid who always got an apple in her lunch wanted

desperately to trade with the kid who had junk. I know the struggles

you all have with relatives and big meals, and I respect you for

that. I respect you for having those principles. I have read the

posts on this list for over a year and I respect your issues and each

of you. But I am a believer in the health benefits of veg*nism and

that's why I eat the way I do.

 

" I absolutely think that this sends the wrong message

to the child that some foods are acceptable if Grandpa offers them to you. "

 

And if my principles dictated that it was wrong, I would tell

grandpa, no more. Like I said, I live with an omnivore so I have

carefully selected where I stand on different food issues.

 

I just didn't want Shelly being too hard on herself. It's a learning

process for all of us as we feel our way around.

 

Angel A.