Kids, choices & grandparents

[Guest guest]

Hi I'm Savannah. I've posted on this site a couple of times, but I've been kind

of shy because I don't want to put any negativity out there and it's been a

difficult year. It's getting better though, this site helps me to feel less

lonely as a vegetarian.

 

I don't know if this will help anyone but when I made the choice to go veg 5

years ago my children were 5 and 6 and were very willfull in their food choices.

Part of the reason that it took me so long to decide to be a veg was because I

did not feel free to make choices based on my own values so I decided that it

needed to be their own choice. I educate them and make Peta's Grrr magazine

available to them and we have family dicussions about meat and what animals go

through so that people can eat them and the implications on society and the

planet of being a meat eating society. I do not cook meat in the house (I can't

stand the lingering smell and I refuse to do something so blatantly against my

values), so my family doesn't eat meat when we are home. But if we are out they

are free to choose what they want. I try not to let them feel judged by me

although I think they know my views so it's inevitable that they do in some way.

They also go stay with their father in California

occasionally and by law I have no right to dictate what he does with them while

they are there, which helps me to acknowledge their individuality. I wish that

I had started educating them earlier and educating their tastes earlier to whole

grain foods so that they would automatically make the choices I want them to

make, but I have a feeling that soon they will begin to individuate as puberty

nears and they will start to experiment with all kinds of choices that I find

distasteful.

 

When they visit with other relatives like grandparents, I focus mainly on how

they spent the time and weather the relationship developed. When my first

husband left, my children practically lost his entire side of their family whom

they had been extremely close to. We saw them all the time and suddenly my

relationship with that side was strained and their father wasn't around to keep

it going. The support system was gone. Now I realize it's so important not to

focus on things that can become barriers to your children developing strong

relationships to their grandparents early on, because they need those

relationships. My daughter in particular depends on her relationship with

extended family. We have a strong family unit, but I guess once you've had

extended family it's something you come to rely on.

 

I know these people can be judgemental, and it's hard not to be judgemental

back. I think we just have to try to understand that the thought on health has

completely shifted since they were our age and they just don't know how to

handle the change. Perhaps if we try to be understanding of them then they will

reciprocate. I don't think we can change them by argueing with them, I've

tried.

 

 

I am fortunate to have a supportive husband now. He's not entirely vegetarian,

but I think it'll happen. He's open minded and aware. He's just athletic and

has a hard time seeing himself succeeding as an athlete whithout animal protein

(ick!).

 

That's my soap box moment. I hope I haven't offended anyone. These are just

ways that I have learned to cope in the world such as it is. It certainly isn't

perfect. I really do not understand why people don't understand how easy it

would be for our country to convert to vegetarianism. People could stop

worrying so much about Mad Cow and Avian Flu and E Coli and everything would

taste so much better. But then what would CNN have to talk about all day?