New vegetarian Shelly in Canada

[Guest guest]

Hi Shelly,

 

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. Seeing the movie Babe

about 11 or so years ago changed me. It seems that simple moments

bring upon change sometimes.

 

How difficult it must be having a partner who doesn't support or

respect your choice. My husband is not vegetarian, but there is

never any meat in the house, and he would never call me or anyone an

idiot for choosing to embrace a more peaceful lifestyle. Our only

child, 2 yrs old, has been vegetarian since birth and will be unless

he himself chooses to (gag) change. Your partner just doesn't agree

with you, and that would be fine if he could find a way to support

your new lifestyle and even be proud that he is with a person who is

willing to change her life for what she believes is right. I would

think that his love for you would inspire curiosity to learn the

facts of why you have made this choice.

 

As for the kids, parenting is a partnership. Our children, mine and

my husband's, will be vegetarian because my husband knows that one

does not need meat or animal products to survive. My son recieves

supurb nutrition as a vegetarian, and since it is so important to me,

there will be no meat/fur/leather/jello/chicken stock in the risotto,

etc. Period. You and your partner must find a common leg to stand on.

If it breaks your heart for your daughter to ingest a shrimp, then

you need to establish boundaries. As your partner, he's gonna have to

work at this one way or another. My husband smokes (sigh), but he

never does it near or around our son, and he wouldn't give our son a

cigarette to hold or a lighter to play with. Why would he give him a

pork chop just because he eats one every now and again?

 

One thing that I have come to believe when I encounter a person who

is so resistant and sometimes even angered by the idea of a cruelty

free existance... somewhere deep down they know that it is wrong, the

way animals are tortured, abused and then killed for food and chairs

and beer and medications and shoes and bedding and (the list goes on

and on and on and on). That means that the way he/she/we have lived

life has been wrong, and tainted with evil. It means that their

parents, grandparents, and so on, were all wrong. It means that they

would have to deal with the fact that there is horrible cruelty

intertwined with every aspect of our lives, and discovering it and

even taking responsibility for it takes, at the very least, bravery.

So, when a person can't hear the facts, it is sometimes because they

are afraid to look at what they have done to this planet and its

creatures, and themselves. I just let the ignorance and nastiness

give me strength, and I remind myself that I may be a freak, but I am

compassionate and I am brave. So are you, Shelly, so Congratulations!

 

I don't know how to tell you to deal with your situtation, other than

to find some common ground with your mate, and hope that you can

crack his shell (nutshell, not eggshell) of resistance. Good luck to

you.

 

Even though you aren't vegan, check out www.veganfreak.com. I love

the forums, which tend to be alot more raw, controverial, and funnier

than this particular group. Plenty of rants, plenty of factoids, and

good and bad advice. I think the owners of the group, a couple who co-

wrote the book Vegan Freak, have ties to Canada.

 

Peace,

Nikki

, " joychild72 " <joychild72>

wrote:

>

> Hello, my name is Shelly and I am a new vegetarian, working towards

> complete veganhood. What got me started on this path in my life was

> PETA. One evening i was reading the MSN homepage and came across an

> article by Martha Stewert talking about why she no longer wore fur.

I

> clicked on the accompanying video, which was a PETA video on the fur

> business. I was so horrified that I explained " OH GOD!!! " so loudly

> that my daughter came running into the room thinking that something

> terrible had gone wrong. I did not let her look at what i was

seeing.

> Supper was ready at that time, it was baked chicken. I could not

> handle looking at it, much less eat it. I watched my children eating

> and i felt ashamed that I had led them into such ignorance. The

> remainder of the evening was devoted to learning more about animal

> cruelty. I said to myself: " how can one care about these animals and

> still eat them? " That is when i seen a link to " goveg.com. " It was

> pretty much a no brainer at that point. We are now a vegetarian

> family. If it was not for PETA, I would not be typing up this

message

> right now. My partner thinks I am a freak and does not support this.

> He will not even look at anything to do with animal cruelity or

> vegetarianism, not even well-respected journal articles by reputable

> researchers. He says all vegans are idoits. It is a good thing that

I

> buy the groceries. I did catch him sneaking the kids meat, my oldest

> who is mentally handicapped took it, as she does not seem to make a

> good connection between babe the pig (her understanding of what a

pig

> is) and bacon. The youngest who is two, ate a shrimp her father gave

> her against my wishes, but otherwise she does not seem to miss it at

> all. My middle daughter was vegetarian last year and fell off the

> wagon. I did let her see the video on factory farming and on the

> " meatrix " and she is a vegetarian about 90% now. She has a little

bit

> of milk here and there, but has some pretty strong convictions about

> animals. I joined this group to meet other parents and to learn from

> them. We live in a rather isolated Canadian community with few

> vegetarians/vegans. Does anyone have any tips on how to best deal

with

> this situation or are there others dealing with some of the same

> issues as we are? I am relearning how to cook and one recipe that i

> recently learned was vegan chili and I have to say it is one of the

> best things I have ever tasted. I guess that is it for now. ~Shelly

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations Shelly for getting out of a bad situation. Life won't be easy

but it sounds like it will be easier than it was.

 

Jacqueline

(in Nova Scotia)

[Guest guest]

You are completely on the mark. It will not be easy, it is not easy, but at

least now i can cultivate friendships and supports that I need. When i was with

him that was not really a possibility and I was stuck doing everything myself as

he did not do much. I have a neighbour who is going to help me with my car,

thank god. I just have to find the parts and buy them. Blessings are all around.

I am emotionally more available to my girls these last few days and that feels

great. Thanks for your words, Shell

 

jacqcote wrote:Congratulations Shelly for getting out of a bad

situation. Life won't be easy but it sounds like it will be easier than it was.

 

Jacqueline

(in Nova Scotia)

 

 

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.This is a discussion list and is not intended to

provide personal medical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a

qualified health professional.

 

edical advice. Medical advice should be obtained from a qualified health

professional.