Help with 11 yr old - a few thoughts

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Michelle,

 

At 07:08 PM 7/30/2004 +0000, you wrote:

>

>but when she goes to visit her father she eats junk fast food...

>including animals.

>

>I would love for her to choose to be veg full time

 

I am answering this as a mother of 2 very different 11 year olds (not

twins). One daughter is a vegetarian who is almost vegan (eats rennet less

cheese), She is militant about not using leather or products tested on

animals, etc. She chose to be a vegetarian 4 years ago. This was not such a

problem as I am a vegetarian also.

 

I actually want to answer this question by referencing my other daughter

and some questions that she has had lately. This daughter eats meat and

struggles with it. Right now she is trying to figure out why some days she

seems to be one person and some days another type of person. I explained

to her that she is at an age that she is really trying to figure out who

she is and where she fits in the world. I think that is where your

daughter is. She seems to be trying out different lifestyles (especially

since daddy has made different choices). I'm not sure that this is really

about being a vegan but about finding her " space " in the world. It sounds

like trying to find some books for her is a good idea but she may not be

ready to make this decision yet.

 

Another thought... My daughter that is vegetarian is a pretty strong

person and is willing to " put up with a lot " from the outside world. But

she does report that it is very difficult to be vegetarian on the

outside. For example, this past year, she started confirmation classes at

the church and dinner is served. I explained that she was a vegetarian when

she started and they said no problem but then most meals included meat.

There were many times that she had a roll, salad and a dessert for

dinner. This was not such a big deal for a few hours. I offered to send

food with her but she would rather just eat the part of the meal that she

could instead of looking different. In fact, I did not let her go on the

end of the year retreat because she wouldn't have had anything to eat.

 

11 seems to be a tough year. One of my girls is going into 7th grade and

the other into 6th grade. There are so many things that they have to sort

out for themselves.

 

Good luck with helping your daughter make her decision.

 

Patty Paolini