Guest guest Posted November 14, 2003 Report Share Posted November 14, 2003 > APmommy76 <mommy76 > Re: Re: Re: child's decision to eat meat? > > Then what happened to me? I just said that I DO resent them for making me eat > meat all the time. > Jan, I would guess that " what happened to " you was that you had no control, and that your frustration over it became a hot-point in your mind, and maybe in your family. If, for instance, your mom had gently said, " I think meat is healthy, and that's why I cook it, " and gave you some options - like, eat smaller portions, or not force you to eat it all, then ou might have felt less resentful and thus it wouldn't be a hot-button topic for you now. For you, being forced to eat meat was your issue. For other people, it was another topic and the response is to go the other way: maybe their parents were super-religious so they were forced to go to church for years even though they didn't have the religious belief, so now as adults they swear their kid has free choice and won't make them go to church at all. But what if your parents had handled it another way? Your reaction now, your promise not to force vegetarianism on your child (not old enough to make mature decisions on complex subjects) is a reflex due to the way your parents handled it. I'm not sure if you're vegetarian because you don't like the taste or you think it's healthy, but as you may have noticed other people see it as a moral, spiritual, or ethical choice, and those are things we do teach our kids, things we as parents make the decisions about, until the kid is old enough to understand all the complexities. In some cultures, kids are considered mature enough for those kinds of decisions at different ages. In the Jewish faith, 8 is particular age of maturity (not saying an 8 year old becomes an adult, just that there's a sudden change in their ability to reason). In other cultures, it's 12 or 15... But it's pretty rare to find someone who thinks a young child can reason and make mature decisions at 5 or 6. It's easy for a kid to understand " animals are our friends " but so easy to understand life-long health ramifications of eating meat, or understand slaughterhouse conditions, etc, so we save those details for when they're older. Kids often have conflicting, unhealthy, or hurtful wishes. They may say they hate their best friend, that they want to eat candy all day long, that they wish they had so-n-so's parents. That doesn't mean it's what they really want. In their simple, black-and-white world, it's easy to express feelings as an either-or situation. They wouldn't want to really trade parents with their friend if they really knew the implications, but they don't know all the details. So a veggie kid saying that (s)he wants to eat meat may not really want to if they knew all the implications - it's just the " opposite " of what they do eat. Teaching your kid the reason we don't eat meat, and making the decisions for them, is simply part of parenting. Letting them decide once they're mature enough is also part of parenting - a part that your parents didn't recognize. I just suspect you feel so strongly about this because you didn't have choice as a young adult. Not every kid who was forced to eat meat feels as strongly " pro-choice " as you, but I think this is your personal reaction and that if your parents had not been so adamant about it, or more understanding or honoring of your feelings (even while still insisting you eat it) then you would be more willing to set a limit on your kid's (potential) wish to eat meat. Peace, Doh -------- " If you're going through Hell, keep going. " ~Winston Churchill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 14, 2003 Report Share Posted November 14, 2003 I'll respond within the context of your message. I'm using all caps to clarify--not yelling..LOL > > Doh! <dohdriver > 2003/11/14 Fri AM 08:25:28 EST > > Re: child's decision to eat meat?> > > Jan, I would guess that " what happened to " you was that you had no control, and that your frustration over it became a hot-point in your mind, and maybe in your family. If, for instance, your mom had gently said, " I think meat is healthy, and that's why I cook it, " and gave you some options - like, eat smaller portions, or not force you to eat it all, then ou might have felt less resentful and thus it wouldn't be a hot-button topic for you now. WE HAD OUR OWN STEER ON OUR RANCH. I USED TO SEE THEM SLAUGHTERED AND DIDN'T WANT TO EAT THE MEAT. I ALSO FED THE STEER AND GOT ATTACHED. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ANIMAL LOVER AND EATING MEAT NEVER FELT RIGHT TO ME. For you, being forced to eat meat was your issue. For other people, it was another topic and the response is to go the other way: maybe their parents were super-religious so they were forced to go to church for years even though they didn't have the religious belief, so now as adults they swear their kid has free choice and won't make them go to church at all. IN MY FAMILY IT WAS MORE THAN MEAT...LOTS OF ISSUES THERE...TOO MANY TO MENTION AND THIS IS A VEG LIST SO THEY'D ALL BE OFF-TOPIC But what if your parents had handled it another way? Your reaction now, your promise not to force vegetarianism on your child (not old enough to make mature decisions on complex subjects) is a reflex due to the way your parents handled it. YES, MATT AND I MAKE LOTS OF DECISIONS BASED ON OUR CHILDHOODS. NEITHER OF US HAD A GOOD ONE AND WE DO THE BEST WE CAN FOR OUR SON. I WAS ALLOWED TO DRINK AS MUCH SODA AS I WANTED WHEN I WAS LITTLE. WE NEVER HAD FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES. I COULD EAT A WHOLE BAG OF CHEETOS IF I WANTED. LOTS OF JUNK. THAT'S JUST THE FOOD PART. NOW WE'RE LACTO-OVU AND WE EAT MOSTLY ORGANIC SO WE'RE REALLY DIFFERENT FROM BOTH SIDES OF OUR FAMILY. THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER THINGS WE DO DIFFERENTLY--NOT JUST NUTRITION. I'm not sure if you're vegetarian because you don't like the taste or you think it's healthy, but as you may have noticed other people see it as a moral, spiritual, or ethical choice, and those are things we do teach our kids, things we as parents make the decisions about, until the kid is old enough to understand all the complexities. YES, WE ARE MEMBERS OF PETA. DAVID AND I WENT VEG FIRST (ALMOST A YEAR AGO) AND HUBBY JOINED US RECENTLY. WE ARE BOTH FROM FAMILIES THAT EAT A LOT OF MEAT. WE ARE DOING IT FOR ETHICAL REASONS (FIRST AND FOREMOST) AND ALSO FOR HEALTH REASONS. In some cultures, kids are considered mature enough for those kinds of decisions at different ages. In the Jewish faith, 8 is particular age of maturity (not saying an 8 year old becomes an adult, just that there's a sudden change in their ability to reason). In other cultures, it's 12 or 15... But it's pretty rare to find someone who thinks a young child can reason and make mature decisions at 5 or 6. It's easy for a kid to understand " animals are our friends " but so easy to understand life-long health ramifications of eating meat, or understand slaughterhouse conditions, etc, so we save those details for when they're older. I UNDERSTOOD THOSE THINGS EARLY ON BECAUSE IT WAS HAPPENING IN MY BACKYARD. Kids often have conflicting, unhealthy, or hurtful wishes. They may say they hate their best friend, that they want to eat candy all day long, that they wish they had so-n-so's parents. That doesn't mean it's what they really want. In their simple, black-and-white world, it's easy to express feelings as an either-or situation. They wouldn't want to really trade parents with their friend if they really knew the implications, but they don't know all the details. So a veggie kid saying that (s)he wants to eat meat may not really want to if they knew all the implications - it's just the " opposite " of what they do eat. EXACTLY, BUT MODERATION IS KEY. WE WILL TEACH DAVID THAT WE DON'T EAT ANIMALS, BUT I WILL NOT SPY ON HIM WHEN HE'S AT SCHOOL OR AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE TO KEEP HIM FROM TASTING IT. IF HE'S CURIOUS, HE'LL PROBABLY JUST TASTE IT AND BE DONE WITH IT. HE MAY NOT WANT TO. I WON'T KEEP HIM FROM TASTING IT IF HE SHOWS INTEREST LATER ON (HE'S ONLY 19 MONTHS). WE JUST DISAGREE HERE! Teaching your kid the reason we don't eat meat, and making the decisions for them, is simply part of parenting. Letting them decide once they're mature enough is also part of parenting - a part that your parents didn't recognize. I just suspect you feel so strongly about this because you didn't have choice as a young adult. Not every kid who was forced to eat meat feels as strongly " pro-choice " as you, but I think this is your personal reaction and that if your parents had not been so adamant about it, or more understanding or honoring of your feelings (even while still insisting you eat it) then you would be more willing to set a limit on your kid's (potential) wish to eat meat. YES, MY PARENTS MADE ALL MY CHOICES FOR ME. MATT AND I BELIEVE IN MODERATION. KIDS CAN'T FEEL OUT OF CONTROL ALL THE TIME. IF DAVID GOES TO A FRIENDS HOUSE AND IT 8 OR 9 YEARS OLD AND WISHES TO TASTE A CHICKEN NUGGET, I WON'T LIKE IT, BUT I WON'T FREAK OUT ON HIM. I WANT HIM TO FEEL COMFORTABLE EXPRESSING HIMSELF AND I'LL USE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT WHY WE'RE VEGETARIANS. FROM WHAT I'VE READ, MANY KIDS RAISED VEG ARE PROUD THAT THEY DON'T EAT ANIMALS AND DON'T WANT TO LATER ON. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. WE'RE NOT THERE YET. I'll see you Saturday! Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.