Vegan Parenting Tip #13

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Vegan Parenting Tip #13

 

My son was invited to a birthday party at McDonald's. Should I let him go?

 

Ask 10 vegan parents this question and you'll likely get 10 very opinionated

responses. Some people dislike McDonald's so much they won't set foot in one.

Others don't see the big deal and will let their child go. Still others will

make an elaborate protest to the party hosts and ask them to change the venue.

There's no right answer to this question, but let's explore the options and the

consequences of your decision.

 

Prevent your child from attending the party

Ask yourself what this will do to your child socially. Is he going to be the

only kid in the 2nd grade who didn't go to this party? Will the other kids tease

him for being so restricted? Will anyone care that you are taking a stand on

your child's behalf? If the next party is at McDonald's too, will he have to

stay home again? It's admirable to stand behind your values 100% and not give in

to social pressure, but make sure it's in your child's best interests (both long

and short term) to keep him from attending the birthday party. Will taking such

a stand make your child resentful of his vegan lifestyle to the point where he

rebels against it? Consider all the consequences of your actions before you

decide to keep him home.

 

Let your child attend the whole party

Even if you hate what McDonald's stands for, perhaps you still feel it's

necessary to show your child that he can interact in any situation and still

remain true to his vegan lifestyle. So you decide to send him to the party, gift

in hand. You worry that he'll be tempted to eat the non-vegan items that will

assuredly be offered to him. What can you do? My advice is to feed your child

ahead of time so he won't be very hungry. And also, I would find out what the

hosts are planning to serve and send the equivalent with your child so he can

eat what they're eating. Most of the time kids at these parties are more

interested in playing than eating. It may not even be an issue at all. But you

should definitely send your child into the situation as prepared as possible.

Discuss what's going to be served and remind him that it's not vegan. Offer to

take him out for a nice vegan dinner that evening instead.

 

Let your child attend some of the party

A lot of parents compromise. They'll let their child go to the party either

before or after the meal is being served. That way the child gets to play and

interact with his friends but isn't tempted to eat the non-vegan food offered at

the party. Find out in advance if the kids will be eating first or doing some

activity first, then plan your arrival and departure accordingly.

 

Tell the hosts how you feel about their chosen location

If you're feeling inclined and you're the activist type, you might be tempted to

tell the hosts of the party about the cruelty McDonald's inflicts on millions of

animals each year. You might encourage them to change the venue of the party to

something more animal-friendly. Before you do this, consider how this plan of

action might affect your child. He will most likely never be invited to this

kid's party again, and may even suffer some serious teasing from the other

children when they hear about what you've done. Just remember, this isn't your

party and it's not your decision. Ask yourself how you would feel if a parent

called you up and asked you to change your child's party around to accommodate

their child's needs.

 

My personal opinion on this matter is that we need to let our children know that

their chosen lifestyle doesn't need to interfere with their social and emotional

development. They need to learn how to maintain their vegan values even if

they're sitting in a McDonald's surrounded by cheeseburgers. As they get older

you won't be able to control their activities, so give them the skills at a

young age to withstand peer pressure and to be comfortable being different.

Practice now makes perfect later.

 

 

VegFamily Newsletter - August 2003

http://www.vegfamily.com

 

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Vegan Parenting Tip #13: My son was invited to a birthday party at

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