Digest Number 650

[Guest guest]

Hi all, Good for you Christina for having a vegetarian wedding. My best friend

did that years ago and her family was polite enough not to complain. But she

lives in San Francisco and married a rock star with dreadlocks. She got married

on Halloween, in the alligator pit at the Academy of Sciences, and wore red. So

the catered vegetarian food was not the most shocking aspect of the wedding. It

was the coolest wedding I've ever seen! And oh, Karen, I can relate to the rude

comments you get from family. It's common sense manners that your inlaws ought

to be respectful when they come to your home! Especially when you tried to be

considerate and put meat on the menu! That's more than I would do! Eating

vegetarian may be new or unusual to them, so let them joke, but don't let that

deter you from inviting them back. Maybe you SHOULD pick a time to inform them

of why you eat veg...that should shut them down. I'm in awe of how sweet it is

that your husband is supporting you and on your side. If my ex had supported me

against his family's ridiculously harsh criticism, or even understood my

feelings, that might have extended our marriage! My family has been having a

reunion every summer in NH. With 20 + people who need three meals a day, we

decided to assign meals to couples and family groups. It's a challenge when you

have so many dietary needs--we've got several vegetarians, a few who are trying

that nonsense high-protein/low-carb diet, and picky kids to plan for. But what

do you do when great aunt Bea (sorry Bea, I love you) decides that a roast rump

is the main dish? You can step in and offer to help by cooking a " side dish "

(that's what you call it so as not to offend her, but you know it's your main

dish) for the vegetarians. (If she demurs, make it anyway but be discreet.) Or,

if you don't feel like cooking, you can zip it and decide to eat ice berg

lettuce salad and white bread for one meal. It ought to work that way for

meat-eaters too. If they want meat, they should BYOM (Bring Your Own Meat). I

have friends who have 6-m.o. triplets and a 2-y.o. They haven't yet taken the

babies out of the house since coming home from NICU. Of course you need to wash

your hands before holding them--doesn't that go without saying? No sick people

are allowed. These kids are lucky to be alive much less healthy and normal birth

weight. I wouldn't dream of questioning them--for goodness sake, they're the

parents! But I bet their mom has heard a critical comment or two somewhere along

the line (and she's not a vegetarian). That kind of criticism comes from people

who either don't know you well, don't respect you, or have bad manners. So,

don't let 'em get to you, Karen, you have a wonderful dh on your side (and your

group). And if they DO frustrate you, just remember, with your

healthy diet, you will outlive them all.

Gayle, you are amazing! It's a big enough challenge for one person to be vegan

much less with 5 babies. Thanks for all the recommendations on hot dogs. I'll

have to try some new things. BTW, I love Amy's brand oraganic frozen convenience

foods--are those also owned by some big gredy conglomerate? Say it ain't so!

Best,Veggie Val

 

 

Karen Butler [kbutlerjr]

Sunday, May 04, 2003 5:38 AM

 

Inconsiderate People

 

 

Anyway, I just wanted to write about how people can be so inconsiderate of

others. A week ago, I had my son's 3 year birthday party. In an effort to please

everyone, we had a party sub for the small meal that was served. I

must admit, although with much embarassment and disgust, I ordered part of the

sub with meat on it. This was to please some of the guests (my in-laws). Anyway,

there were the usual anti-vegetarian comments made, to

which I just walk away from now. What really upset me though was the fact that I

made an effort to have things they choose to eat, even though it was not

something I eat, and they were in MY home. Why do people find it

necessary to make it their concern what I eat? I don't talk to them about what I

eat or what they eat. (And believe me, I could give them an earful about what

they eat). They were in MY home!

And of course, there were comments made about my parenting style. Because of my

son's premature birth, we were told to stay close to home until the risk of RSV

was over. I was labeled a hypochondriac by my Mother-in-law and Sister-in-law.

In fact, they had an at length conversation about it in my home at the birthday

party, although they didn't think I knew about it. My

3 year old got RSV when he was 9 months and was in the hospital, and they saw

what we went through with that. I guess I'm just frustrated that my family would

say these things. I am ready to give them a piece of my mind,

but I know it would get turned around and then I would not only be a

hypochondriac, worry-wort, " hippie-vegetarian " , but I would be labled as

insecure and trying to stir up trouble. I know there is nothing I can say to the

in-laws to change their minds or opnions.

 

 

 

 

 

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