On the borderline

[Guest guest]

Good morning,

Although it may be too late, I'd like to ask for some help here dealing with a

person in my life who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I realize this

is a diagnosis based on symptoms and doesn't address the root cause - but that's

the world I'm having to deal with it in. The alopathic position is that it

doesn't have a cure, so I have to find a way to cope with it. The person thinks

they don't have a problem - or rather that I AM the problem - and thus won't

change their behavior in any way.

 

Ideally I could set an example that would inspire them to want to change

themselves, but I haven't found a way yet that works for very long.

 

If you'd rather respond privately that would be OK with me.

Thanks.

Nick

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

If it helps to hear my experience...

 

I very much believe that what we ingest contributes to our mental and

physical balance and abilities. And people have to want to change, to

change. One has to see, believe and do it. We each carry the

responsibility for changing just ourselves, yet we're blessed with those

around us who are setting positive examples. But that doesn't mean one

can/will seek change. Realizing that, I've had to do what is healthiest for

me.

 

My experience is that BPD is a label for behaviors which could also be

called abusive. However, I've yet to know someone with these behaviors

willing to seek change. After years of trying to work with it (doing my

best to set the example, help, etc.), I had to permanently remove myself.

It is just too destructive to me and others. And I believe removing myself

in a loving way is the best example I can set. It clearly communicates that

when someone is lashing out/harming and does not/can not learn how to

stop/protect, we must protect ourselves until they are doing otherwise.

Only they/the professionals can take it from there. This could also be

called tough love.

 

I could not suggest that anyone endure further damage, especially children,

as I've seen too many children then mimic or marry this very behavior

themselves, which is quite depressing...another generation lost, and harmful

(abusive) traditions carried on and on and on. I hope you experience a much

better solution.

 

 

 

On Behalf Of Nick Hein

Tuesday, May 05, 2009 4:22 AM

 

On the borderline

 

Good morning,

Although it may be too late, I'd like to ask for some help here dealing with

a person in my life who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I realize

this is a diagnosis based on symptoms and doesn't address the root cause -

but that's the world I'm having to deal with it in. The alopathic position

is that it doesn't have a cure, so I have to find a way to cope with it.

The person thinks they don't have a problem - or rather that I AM the

problem - and thus won't change their behavior in any way.

 

Ideally I could set an example that would inspire them to want to change

themselves, but I haven't found a way yet that works for very long.

 

If you'd rather respond privately that would be OK with me.

Thanks.

Nick

[Guest guest]

If a person thinks you are the problem, they are in denial and can't be helped

until they realize that in fact, HE/SHE is the problem, not you.

A lot of personality problems can be helped by a change in diet and lifestyle,

but if the personality problem interferes with good living habits (i.e., it

leads them to overeat, not exercise, etc.), it would have to be adddressed

through other means, such as counselling.

 

Ron

 

, " Nick Hein " <nick.hein wrote:

>

> Good morning,

> Although it may be too late, I'd like to ask for some help here dealing with a

person in my life who has Borderline Personality Disorder. The person thinks

they don't have a problem - or rather that I AM the problem - and thus won't

change their behavior in any way.

>

> Nick