**OT** Truthful Humor **OT**

[Guest guest]

The Fattitudes

 

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and

spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and

Woman would live long and healthy lives.

 

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy

Kreme. And Satan said: " You want hot fudge with that? " and Man said: " Yes! "

And Woman said: " I'll have one too, with sprinkles. "

And lo, they gained 10 pounds.

 

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man

found so fair.

 

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and

combined them.

 

And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

 

So God said: " Try my fresh green garden salad. "

 

And Satan presented crumbled bleu cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.

 

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

 

God then said: " I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them. "

 

And Satan brought fourth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter dipped lobster

chunks, and chicken-fried steak --- so big it needed its own platter.

 

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

 

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra

pounds.

 

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have

to toil changing the channels.

 

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started

wearing stretch jogging suits.

 

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite.

 

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan

said: " You want fries with that? "

 

And Man replied: " Yes! and Supersize 'em! "

 

And Satan said: " It is good. "

 

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

 

God sighed...and created quadruple bypass surgery.

 

And then..Satan chuckled and created HMO's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An e-mail from Joanie

" I did then what I knew then, & when I knew better, I did better. "

-Maya Angelou

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

ROTF :-) thank you!

 

rawfood , Joanie <christmasbaby1956> wrote:

>

>

>

>

> The Fattitudes

[Guest guest]

rawfood , Joanie <christmasbaby1956> wrote:

> The Fattitudes

>

> In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower,

and

> spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so

that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

 

So be it.

>

> Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and

Krispy Kreme. And Satan said: " You want hot fudge with that? " and

Man said: " Yes! " And Woman said: " I'll have one too, with sprinkles. "

> And lo, they gained 10 pounds.

>

> And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the

figure that Man found so fair.

>

I don't eat yogurt.

 

> And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from

the cane, and combined them.

>

Many people are addicted to wheat and sugar.

 

> And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

>

> So God said: " Try my fresh green garden salad. "

>

> And Satan presented crumbled bleu cheese dressing and garlic toast

on the side.

>

 

Green garden salad is good. No animal products for me.

 

> And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

>

> God then said: " I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive

oil in

> which to cook them. "

 

Many people are badly overweight in this country. No need to cook.

 

>

> And Satan brought fourth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter dipped

lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak --- so big it needed its own

platter.

>

 

Man thinks that stuff is an expression of his power, it's not though.

 

> And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

>

> God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might

lose those extra pounds.

>

 

I walk a lot, but no formal exercise.

 

> And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man

would not have to toil changing the channels.

>

I like the remote control.

 

> And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and

started wearing stretch jogging suits.

>

> God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories

and still satisfy his appetite.

>

 

Man tries to justify his eating SAD and not feel bad about it by

having lean this and low fat that, etc.

 

> And Satan created McDonalds and the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said: " You want fries with that? "

>

> And Man replied: " Yes! and Supersize em! "

 

Leave the cows alone. Set them free in the country somewhere.

 

Man eats way too much because his body knows it isn't getting much

nutrition from what he does eat.

>

> And Satan said: " It is good. "

>

> And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

>

> God sighed...and created quadruple bypass surgery.

>

> And then..Satan chuckled and created HMO's.

>

>

There'd be much less sickness and many fewer people in hospitals if

raw plant eating was the norm.