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RE: Digest Number 189

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I e-mailed the author for permission to repost her letter to the paper.

 

Bethany

 

 

 

Sunday, April 30, 2000

 

> By SHARON UNDERWOOD

 

> For the Valley News (White River Junction, VT)

 

>

 

> Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual

 

> menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough

 

> from you good people.

 

>

 

> I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the " homosexual agenda " and

 

> your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as

 

> advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been

 

> robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

 

>

 

> My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little

 

> thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the

 

> first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade

 

> straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

 

>

 

> He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay,

 

> but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other

 

> boys. He was called " fag " incessantly, starting when he was 6.

 

>

 

> In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should

 

> be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it

 

> to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing

 

> 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just

 

> couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be

 

> gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

 

>

 

> You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children

 

> from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and

 

> drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know

 

> that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give

 

> you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and

 

> it's about time you started doing that.

 

>

 

> At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could

 

> never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there

 

> that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my

 

> family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it

 

> is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal

 

> development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute

 

> certainty that it is inborn.

 

>

 

> If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something

 

> more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it;

 

> it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing

 

> your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received

 

> with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul

 

> of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce

 

> sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or

 

> something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you

 

> saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something

 

> you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the

 

> case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

 

>

 

> A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by

 

> outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for

 

> generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop

 

> saying that you are speaking for " true Vermonters. "

 

>

 

> You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the

 

> battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their

 

> lives so that the " homosexual agenda " could tear down the principles

 

> they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most

 

> horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple

 

> Heart.

 

>

 

> He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live.

 

> He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did

 

> their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service

 

> was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out,

 

> it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

 

>

 

> You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges

 

> from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong

 

> companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities

 

> that he should request the right to visit that companion in the

 

> hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws

 

> governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests

 

> would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the

 

> sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility

 

> to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people

 

> who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged

 

> majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.

 

>

 

> The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who

 

> lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about " those of us who have

 

> been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing " asks: " What

 

> ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings

 

> than we are? "

 

>

 

> Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

> Sharon Underwood's e-mail is: sundervt.

 

>

 

 

 

______________________

 

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