Almost Cut My Hair

[Guest guest]

On Wednesday, February 19, 2003, at 06:23 PM,

wrote:

 

> " Laura Moore " <child_of_the_80s

> Re: vegan advice

>

>

> I get the digest so have just read Dave0 and Gene's recent posts. Thanks

> again for the info guys, it really helps.

> I think what i'm most worried about in telling people is the indignation

> and

> the people who won't even try to understand. Mainly my family, but i know

> its just because they care and aren't as well informed as i feel i am.

> I haven't mentioned it to them yet, so they may suprise me, but the 2

> reactions i've had from friends so far have been shock and indirect

> aggression!

 

Yes, this happens. Human nature is to recoil and be hostile toward what

is unfamiliar. It's hard-wired into us from millions of years of

fight-or-flight reactions.

 

> One friend was shocked but supportive. With the other, a very good

> friend,

> she was shocked but ok with me being a vegan until she asked why. When i

> mentioned briefly it was for health reasons because there was evidence it

> was healthier and for ethical reasons because i feel dairy farming etc is

> against my beliefs, she attacked this stating it wasn't true and you could

> find articles and evidence to prove anything etc. (using the same logic

> i

> used to pull apart that anti-veggie article). I didn't respond with an

> attack as i've got no wish to lose my friends, and i'm a very calm person

> generally, so i just said that, for me, these were my reasons. She said

> she

> was ok with it but i could tell she felt a bit uncomfortable for the rest

> of

> the conversation.

 

You did fine, and if you remain calm and let them get used it, all should

be well. And if they honestly find this to be a deal-breaker when it

comes to friendship, what sort of friend were they, really?

 

> Basically i don't know how to react in these situations because i'm just

> not

> used to being attacked like that. What do you do?

 

I've learned to expect it and to realize that I'm just farther along this

particular curve than they are, and that they'll either find out for

themselves, or fall off the curve, eventually. Nothing to be done in

either case. Just be there to help if and when they need it.

 

> I have a feeling its because she kinda knows there's a possibility that

> what

> i'm saying is true, and she doesn't like it (she's far too happy with her

> bacon sarnie!)

 

That is exactly it. People hate being forced to evaluate their unexamined

habits. It threatens their complacency, and that is most people's most

powerful basic drive, it seems.

 

> Ah, the trials and tribulations of being in a minority group!

 

I used to refuse to cut my hair because I knew it'd be easier on me if I

did.

 

>

> Laura

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

~Spanish proverb