Raw kids

November 16, 2004

Paula,

I wanted to offer some encouragement for your situation. I was on a

retreat many years ago and I remember the speaker for the weekend had

written a book that really summed up much of the problems we have as

parents. Of course I could care less at the time but now that I have 2

kids and a third on the way, we are really in tune with this fact. The

title of his book was something like this... " You Kid, Me Parent. "

In other words, we need not enter the battle with our kids because there

isn't one - unless of course we let there be. To me, a 10 year old may

seem quite independent but in reality they are still fully under our

control and in need of our discipline, support, love, encouragement and

guidance. They do not know best so their decision making ability should

be guided more closely than a wise adult. This should start as an

infant where a child should have the most restraint on their own

decisions. As they grow and mature, they should be given more and more

freedom in this area. If they demonstrate the tendency to make the

wrong decisions, then this is potentially the toughest period for

parents. Often it is caused by a result of excess freedom when they

were not ready (which is really easy to let happen as a parent) for it

so reversing this freedom is extremely difficult. Addressing it, as

difficult as it may be is however the real loving thing to do.

We have a small window of opportunity to teach the truth to our little

ones. As you know, time really flies by. As for implementation, there

are probably as many ideas as there are families so I will not make any

suggestions. I will however encourage you to continue to make sure you

child knows right from wrong. Don't feel bad if you need to show some

tough love. I would also suggest that it be done with lots of clear

communication given the age of the child.

The best,

Jerrod Sessler

ASA / NASCAR Driver

Sessler Motorsports Marketing

206.387.7090

" most of us live beyond need "

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