Being Let Down

[Guest guest]

Dear Anyone who's plans are changed,

 

Why be so angry when lifes' tribulations and trials cause change in the plans?

We don't know what is going on in the lives of the organizers or the attendees.

I applaud anyone who has the guts to get out there hoping to help anybody. It

is hard to organize something which doesn't meet your expectations and just as

disappointing when you can't go to an organized event because you are ill or it

gets canceled. We all have expectations. How terrible it would be for an

organizer to belittle someone because of extenuating circumstances. In order

for something to come off ample attendance is necessary. It is interesting to

see how adults can expect so much from others but lack the insight to focus on

their own inadequacies. Sometimes our anger can highlight the deeper reasons we

hold resentment toward others and placing blame on someone else for doing what

they think is right is certainly a purile attitude. We all make mistakes.

Seems to me that such an attitude really tells the person at whom the anger is

directed that the person in anger has been let down, that they want deeper

connections with them which are not being met, or that they are doing things for

the wrong reasons, pushing others to do as they want, so selfishly. Children's

needs are met by adults. Adults meet their own.

 

Kevin Thurber, LMP

Everybody's Better with Bowen

aikneada

206.328.5300

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Kevin,

Thank you for this kind and compassionate message. In my own relationships

recently I've come across a book called " The Relationship Handbook " by Dr.

George Pransky that has been extremely helpful for personal, intimate and

professional dealings. One premise of the book is that we respond according to

our moods and we shouldn't enter into a conversation when we feel like

communicating our bad mood to others. They'll feel attacked and won't recognize

the speakers' needs or what to do about them. I only wish I had found out about

the book a few years earlier, the author lives in LaConner, WA.

 

BTW, I would really like to discuss subjects like this on the SeattleDailyWisdom

list. I didn't get any responses to my earlier mention of it. If anyone is

interested, I still am. Even if we don't understand anger, there's a reason for

it and a need to understand its causes (but not on a food list maybe).

 

Nickolas Hein

Morgantown WV

-

Kevin A. Thurber

RawSeattle

Monday, October 25, 2004 10:57 PM

[RawSeattle] Being Let Down

 

 

 

Dear Anyone who's plans are changed,

 

Why be so angry when lifes' tribulations and trials cause change in the plans?

We don't know what is going on in the lives of the organizers or the attendees.

I applaud anyone who has the guts to get out there hoping to help anybody. It

is hard to organize something which doesn't meet your expectations and just as

disappointing when you can't go to an organized event because you are ill or it

gets canceled. We all have expectations. How terrible it would be for an

organizer to belittle someone because of extenuating circumstances. In order

for something to come off ample attendance is necessary. It is interesting to

see how adults can expect so much from others but lack the insight to focus on

their own inadequacies. Sometimes our anger can highlight the deeper reasons we

hold resentment toward others and placing blame on someone else for doing what

they think is right is certainly a purile attitude. We all make mistakes.

Seems to me that such an attitude really tells the person at whom the anger is

directed that the person in anger has been let down, that they want deeper

connections with them which are not being met, or that they are doing things for

the wrong reasons, pushing others to do as they want, so selfishly. Children's

needs are met by adults. Adults meet their own.

 

Kevin Thurber, LMP

Everybody's Better with Bowen

aikneada

206.328.5300