Mary Ellen?

[Guest guest]

Mary Ellen,

 

I'm having trouble understanding some of the dynamics of your marriage. Why

is it your husband won't " let you feed him healthy " ? Do you work outside

the home? I ask because the dynamics change some when a woman is totally

dependent on a man for food and shelter.

 

Course, I have trouble understanding why women have to cook for their

husbands at all, if both are working. Even if the woman stays home and

raises the kids, that is still working. To me, if I believed that certain

foods were poisoning my husband, then I couldn't in good conscience continue

to feed him those things. ....especially if he is unhealthy. If its my job

to cook or prepare meals, then I am the one in charge of it and my husband

doesn't get to tell me how to do it. He can be certain that I will do my

job to the very best of my ability with the health and well-being of my

family in mind. I cannot force him to eat healthy, that's his choice

entirely, but I won't be forced to participate in his self-destructive

behavior. If he wants it done a particular way, then maybe HE ought to do

it that way. (I'm speaking of my husband) I wouldn't continue buying

alcohol for an alcoholic UNLESS he was in immediate danger of dying from

detox (which can happen). I would tell my husband that I just can't eat

that way and I won't fix his....but if he would like to eat what I am fixing

for myself, I would be happy to fix his dinner as well. Course, my husband

would continue to provide grocery money and find a way to fix his own food

if I said that to him.....fortunately he is good natured enough to eat

whatever I'm fixing and be happy that he doesn't have to fix it himself.

What I'm just trying to say is that the two of you have different ideas

about how to eat, so each of you should just take care of yourself and let

the other do what they want. I don't force you to eat what I prepare and

you don't force me to prepare what you eat.....its a simple

solution......maybe.

 

Another suggestion, if you really can't do the above, is to cook one day a

week for him and freeze dinners for him. You might only have to fix 3

different dinners and he can rotate those. Bar-b-queing outdoors is

something some men like to do and that does keep the smell out of the house.

 

While I hardly have a good understanding of all the different kinds of

relationships there are out there, I have concerns about bossy or demanding

husbands and women who cater to it. If that describes your relationship,

then you may benefit from some counciling. Please understand I'm not

telling you that you do, because I don't really know about your

relationship...... I'm just saying it could be a possibility.

 

I wish you the best.....let us know how you are doing with this and if we

can support you in NOT cooking for your love.

 

Warmly,

 

Nina

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*********** ********************

 

_______________

Is your PC infected? Get a FREE online computer virus scan from McAfee®

Security. http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963